Speak Strong’s Official List of Offensive Words:

Surveys Reveals the Top Ten Poison Phrases to Avoid Using

I call them Poison Phrases. They are the opposite of Power Phrases. They are mean words to say to people, words that drive people crazy, create resistance in your listener, and derail the best of conversations. These are words that you should seriously consider permanently striking from your vocabulary.

How did I come by this list? I started by inviting my readers to submit their Poison Phrases Pet Peeves – the least favorite phrases that they love to hate.

I then conducted an online poll in which respondents scored each phrases according to how offensive they found them. Here are the results:

10. I’m done with you.

In The Devil Wears Prada, Meryl Streep’s character would end conversations by saying “That’s all. I’m done with you.” I’m done with you was a least-favorite phrase among my respondents.

scoring 603 Obnoxiousness Points.

9. I don’t care.

Too often, people say I don’t care when asked for an opinion. This frustrates those who want to collaborate. It’s even more frustrating when the person using this Poison Phrase really does care, and wants the person asking to guess their preference.

Score: 606 Obnoxiousness Points.

8. I couldn’t care less.

As if it’s not enough not to care, this phrase takes the indifference to the next level. They say the opposite of love isn’t hate, the opposite of love is indifference. If that’s true, I couldn’t care less is about as opposite of love as one can get.

Score: 647 Obnoxiousness Points.

7. If you say so.

This phrase is sarcasm in the form of feigned agreement. You both know that your saying something doesn’t make it so, so you both know the person using this phrase doesn’t mean what they say. Basically the phrase expresses resignation – but it’s resignation with a twist of the knife. It says, I’ll go along, but I’m letting you know you don’t have my soul.

Score: 659 Obnoxiousness Points.

6. I’m just a clerk.

This comment says, “Don’t ask me, I don’t have any power.” How frustrating is that, when the person who is there to help you has just shut the door on you with this phrase. Sure, clerks can’t do everything, but isn’t it better when, instead of pointing out their powerlessness, they point to the people who can help?

Score 682 Obnoxiousness Points.

5. Bite me.

I’d rather not explain this one. I invite you to look it up in the urban dictionary online. Let me just say that is someone uses this with you, they are not happy with you, and you probably are not so happy with them either.

Score: 684 Obnoxiousness Points.

4. Whatever.

A modern day version of if you say so. This word has become the hallmark of dismissiveness among young people. It is a sarcastic expression intended to communicate “I don’t agree with you, but I’m going to say this to shut the conversation down.”

Score: 728 Obnoxiousness Points.

3. What’s your problem?

While this phrase is sometimes well-intended, it is often used to announce that the other person must have a problem to think, feel or act the way they do. It is used passive-aggressively: on the surface it expresses concern, but the intent is less benevolent.

Score: 741 Obnoxiousness Points.

2. It’s not my job.

This is a generic version of I’m just a clerk. This phrase substitutes a formal job description for a spirit of helpfulness.

Score: 782 Obnoxiousness Points.

1. Shut up.

I was delighted to see this phrase at the top of the list. As a child, I remember feeling pain in my heart when I heard kids shouting at each other to shut up. It’s a harsh phrase to silence someone. It’s a word I never use, and I have a lot of company in my dislike of it.

Score: 813 Obnoxiousness Points.

The foundation of Power Phrases and Speaking Strong is to “say what you mean and mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it.” When I teach that, many people will tell me they were with me until the last part of the equation. A mean phrase can undo years of good-will in minutes. Knowing what not to say is as important as knowing what to say. Keep these phrases as a handy reminder of what not to say.

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Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong provide PowerPhrases and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home. She is the author of the books

Power Phrases!, How to Use Power Phrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. She can be reached at:

, or 719-684-2633.

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