KOALA JOE
A new musical - not only for children.
BOOK AND LYRICS
by
MARKUS WEBER
MUSIC
by
JANE COMERFORD
EMU PRODUCTIONS
Markus Weber
2/58 Park Street.
Erskineville NSW 2043
Tel: 02 9516 5838 Fax: 9517 9845
Mobile: 0417 265207
Email:
KOALA JOE
THE AUTHORS
JANE COMERFORD-GROSSER - Composer
Born in Australia, Ms. Comerford-Grosser studied piano and violin. She moved to the USA to complete her musical studies and graduated from University in 1977. She began her professional career as a singer and pianist in the USA and she worked in Spain and West Germany. In 1984, Ms. Comerford-Grosser became Professor of Popular Music at the Hamburg State University.
In her career as a musical singer, among many notable stage performances, she starred as Eponine for the first German Production of LES MISERABLES in Vienna, Angel in THE RINK, Sue in M FOR MARILYN and Dott in SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE.
Together with her husband, Grosser, she owns a recording studio in Hamburg, where she produces her own contemporary music. Creating the music for KOALA JOE provided her the opportunity to apply her unique creative abilities to a story that embodies the myths and legends of Australia’s original peoples.
MARKUS WEBER - book and lyrics
Markus Weber was born in Austria and has lived for over twenty years in Germany and Australia. He is a well-known director and producer for musical theatre and is an acclaimed author of plays, librettos and musicals.
Amongst many original works and numerous productions in Germany, Austria, and France, Mr. Weber translated and produced SWEENEY TODD, THE RINK, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE and TWO BY TWO for the German theatre. To date, his musical adaptation of Rudyard Kipling’s JUNGLE BOOK has been produced in over thirty theatres throughout Germany, Switzerland and Austria.
In 1980, Mr. Weber created EMU RECORDS, a music and theatre production company specialising in musical theatre and recording.
As writer, producer and director, Mr. Weber first presented KOALA JOE at the state theatre in Munster, Germany. The play had its premiere performance at Sydney’s Independent Theatre in September 1998.
RIGHTS
Theatre:
GUSTAV KIEPENHEUER THEATRICAL PUBLISHERS - BERLIN
and EMU PRODUCTIONS - M. Weber - Sydney/Hamburg
Film and television:
EMU Productions - Markus Weber - Sydney/Hamburg
Recording:
EMU RECORDS and JANE COMERFORD GROSSER
Book and translation rights:
EMU Productions - Markus Weber - Sydney/Hamburg
KOALA JOE
A new musical - not only for children - with production possibilities for theatres of any size.
THE CAST:
JOEcalled KOALA JOE
YALUNDAthe aboriginal girl from the Dream Time
JASMINEan orphan girl (also played by YALUNDA)
CUDDLEa koala, but not a bear
MATILDAa big red kangaroo
EMUan Emu himself
MR. Ma villain hunter*
TUNNELSPOOOKa true nightmare*
HEADMASTERa heartless teacher*
HEAD-WARDENslightly disordered* (* performed by same actor)
KOALA JOE
Scenes and musical numbers
Scene One:In the boarding school
# 1Take me home Koala Joe
# 2The dream (instrumental)Yalunda, Koala Joe, Headmaster
Scene Two:The Flight
# 3Fly like the WindKoala Joe, Yalunda
Scene Three:The Zoo
# 4Eanie meanie muhEmu
# 5Koalas need a cuddleCuddle
# 6Matilda says goodbyeMatilda
# 7Mr. M., the masterMr. M.
# 8ConcentrateJoe, Cuddle, Emu, Yalunda
# 9Concentrate IIInstrumental
# 10The chaseInstrumental
Interval
Scene Four:The long night
# 11 Take me homeJoe, Cuddle, Emu, Jasmine
Scene Five:The tunnel
# 12Tunnel spookKoala, Jasmine, Cuddle, Emu, Tunnel Spook
# 13ConcentrateJoe, Cuddle, Emu, Jasmine/Yalunda
Scene Six:The boxing fight
# 14Waltzing MatildaMatilda and friends
# 15The fightInstrumental
# 16What’s right, what’s wrongKoala Joe and friends
Scene Seven:Starting the trip
# 17 The very best adventureAll
Scene One - The Boarding School
The stage is dark. Through the intercom, we hear the sounds of a noisy, busy school. There is a lonely bed in the middle of the stage. KOALA JOE sits on the bed and opens a parcel, which he just had received from his parents. The parcel contains a little koala puppet. JOE is not very happy about the little present - he looks very sad.
Voice of
Headmaster:Unit C - Unit C - Hear! Hear! Five minutes left until lights out. Calm down.... In four minutes, we will not hear a sound.... You’ve got three minutes...Countdown: 180 - 179 - 178...Lights off. Eyes closed! Sleep. Joseph too. Even Joseph is going to sleep now. And do not forget: Only 99 days left until the summer holidays. Now sleep! Joseph - close your eyes - stop dreaming. Sleep! Now! 119...118...
JOE lies down on his bed and, like being forced by a strange power, closes his eyes. The noises from the boys fade away while the counting voice of the HEADMASTER gets louder and louder. A lonely spot light wanders through the dark auditorium, rests on the face of one of the children, travels on until it reaches JOE on his bed. He has covered himself with his sheet and stares into the auditorium as if over the ocean. He wears jeans and a T-shirt with the image of a Koala and is barefoot. We only hear the monotone counting voice of the HEADMASTER and softly the music fades in:
# 1 - TAKE ME HOME (Joe)
Joe:Homesick, I'm so homesick
Day by day - far too long
Someone help me, who can help me
'Cause alone I'm not so strong
I long to go home, cause I'm so alone
In the darkness I try not to cry
Take me home.
Help me, someone help me
Just reach out and take my hand
Won't you help me, I'm so homesick
Lead me back to my own land
Where the blue lagoon is sparkling bright
And the sand on the beach is so white
Where my parents are waiting, with open arms
To hold me tight
Where the water flows down backwards
When it goes down the drain
Where the sun is bright in wintertime
There I'd be together with my parents again
I'm so homesick, someone help me.
Find the way to my own land
If you help me, I'll be running
Barefoot through the red hot sand
But in the darkness I lie
And try not to cry
I was left on my own
All alone
Take me home.
The music softly changes into
# 2 - THE DREAM (instrumental)
With his sad song, JOE has reached YALUNDA'S heart. YALUNDA is the daughter of the great mother Eingana, who once created everything. We hear the sounds of a didgeridoo, the bright laughter of a kookaburra. On the wide screen in the back, we see the purple sand, the blue lagoons, the image of an aborigine and out of a pillar of fog rises YALUNDA.
Yalunda: Joe, try to remember your laughter. Remember the laughter of the blue winged ice bird Kookaburra - you also know him as our Laughing Jack. (A kookaburra laughs) Rise and fly - to the east. Fly home - just straight on.
Joe:Who are you?
Yalunda: I am Yalunda - daughter of the Great Mother Eingana who once created everything. I am the water, the rocks, and the trees. I am a bird, the koala, a kangaroo and an emu too. I am the ancient bow Toon and the boomerang. I’m Yalunda your sister and Yoola your brother too.
Joe:You can’t be everything at the same time.
Yalunda:I am the thread of life, which you have to hold on. If you let go of it, everything must fade. Hold it tight, as tight as life.
Yalunda:How can one hold on tight to life?
In the meantime, the HEADMASTER has come in. He bursts through a door made of paper and frightens the life out of JOE.
Headmaster:By going to sleep now without disturbing the peaceful night any longer Joseph.
Joe:Arrh... I’m sorry, Sir... I was just...
Headmaster: Dreaming again? I know your fantasies. You only have mischief in your head. You disturb your classes, you do not concentrate and you lead your fellow students to dream your stupid dreams.
Joe:That’s not true.
Headmaster: True? You don’t even have the slightest concept about what that is: Truth. Honesty. Reliability. Obedience. (Pulls JOE by his ear from the bed) You can’t sleep? Well in that case you may write a letter to your parents and inform them that you wish to attend summer school here rather than going home for the holidays.
Joe: But I don’t rather want that. Sir.
Headmaster: Oh yes, you definitely do rather want that.
Joe: No. Please. Sir. Don’t. Yalunda.
Yalunda: Hold the thread of life.
Headmaster: You shall write to your parents and tell them how good you feel in our boarding school.
Joe: No.
Headmaster: You shall write and tell them that you will return home only after you graduate.
Joe: But that is in three years time!
Headmaster:If you don’t watch out it may take even longer.
Joe:But I haven’t done anything wrong.
Headmaster: You dream!
Joe: And what’s so bad about that?
Headmaster: Everything. Go on, write the letter now.
Joe:No, never. Yalunda - help me!
Yalunda: Fly like the kookaburra.
Joe:But I can’t fly.
Headmaster:Thank God for that.
Yalunda: Fly like the wind. Ride on the sound of the didgeridoo. Fly.
Scene Two - The Flight
To the HEADMASTER'S great surprise, JOE flies away - out of the school - far up into the sky, leaving all his worries behind.
# 3 - FLY WITH THE WIND (Yalunda and Joe)
Yalunda:Fly like the wind
Fly like the wind
Fly like the pollen flies
Like leaves in autumn skies
Fly like the wind.
Go on flying like a
Kite in a stormy night
Like an eagle
Free and full of pride
Take a rest
On soft white clouds
See the coloured roofs and gardens
Winding creeks
And with your glowing cheeks
Take a ride upon a rainbow
‘Til you know, you're out of danger
Fly like the wind.
Both:Fly like the wind
Fly like a speck of dust
Fly away for you must
Fly like the wind
Fly like the wind
Fly like a bird on high
Fly like your dreams can fly
Fly like the wind.
Together with YALUNDA, JOE flies through the sky like a bird in springtime. However, all of a sudden, JOE realises that he is, in fact, flying and he immediately loses his faith in this newly gained talent.
Joe: Yalunda? He - where are you? I can’t fly all by myself.
Of course, his mistrust leads him into disaster - he loses his flying abilities instantly and begins to fall.
Joe: Yalunda. Help. I’m faaaaalling...
Thank God, he crashes into a huge hay pile in the middle of the Australian animals section of a nearby zoo.
Scene Three - The Zoo
Joe:Am I still alive or already in heaven? Jesus - holy moly. Was I really up there or did I only dream it? But this is not my bed... so I did not dream it after all. Let’s see if I am still in one peace. Bend the left knee.... Feels fine.... Now the right leg...bingo.... Now get up.... easy...Well. done.
While JOE is still examining his legs and arms for injuries, something starts to move underneath him in the hay. Slowly, a monster is pealing itself out of the hay. JOE doesn’t know, where he has landed and so he first believes that an evil creature is chasing him.
Joe:A demon.... It’s a demon - a ghost with huge eyes and an enormous mouth. Yalunda, what did you get me into here... Oh my God... it’s coming. it’s coming... what am I going to do, what can I do.... (Crosses his fingers) Voodoo Voodoo. Has anyone got some garlic. or does that not do anything for ghosts? is there no one to help me?... Mummy..Daddy.... I promise to be a very good boy for the rest of my life. Dear Mr. Headmaster, I will write any letter you want me to write...but please make the ghost disappear. Please. I’ll do anything you want...
While JOE is jabbering in fear, a huge Emu crawls out of the haystack - sees JOE and can’t hold back his curiosity. He slowly approaches JOE, stares at him, walks forward to the audience and stares at the faces row by row. JOE peeks through his fingers and sees that it is an Emu, disturbed in his sleep by JOE’S fall from the sky.
Joe:What is this? I don’t believe it. An Emu. Stupid me. A ghost! There are no ghosts.
The Emu starts running up to JOE and JOE moves away.
Joe:Hold it...stay away from me you, you, you... beast.
The Emu stops instantly.
Joe:That’s it. That’s my boy. Just keep your distance.
Emu:Did you just call me a beast?
JOE looks around in great surprise. He does not realise that the Emu is talking to him.
Emu:Don’t look like a wet bag. I am talking to you.
Joe: (stuttering) Ah...hm....arrh...wwwhat I am...
Emu:...pretty nuts.
Joe:No.. ah... well.. I just dddit nnnot. kknooow...
Emu:Wwwwhat ddddid’nt yyyyyou kkkknow?
Joe:That an Emu can talk.
Emu:They can’t.
Joe:But you do.
Emu:I do? Who? What? Where? I do not talk to you.
Joe:But I can hear you.
Emu:What do you hear?
Joe:Well.. your voice.
Emu:What voice.
Joe:Yours.
Emu:Mine?
Joe:Yes.
Emu:No.
Joe:Sure.
Emu:Honestly?
Joe:Honestly.
Emu:You’re not lying?
Joe:Never.
Emu:He must be nuts. Says he hears my voice. I do not have a voice. An Emu can’t talk.
Joe:But you are talking to me.
Emu:To me?
Joe: To me.
Emu: To you?
Joe:To me.
Emu:This guy must be totally nuts. All of a sudden I can speak! (EMU runs like crazy in a circle around JOE and yells) I can speak. I talk. I am having a conversation.... great...Yes, Sir...I am somebody... I am a body some...Ha, stupid Emu - what about that now? I am bigger than life.. I am a star... the speaking and talking Emu. Make my day, pal.
# 4 EANIE MEANIE MUH (Emu)
Emu:Eanie meanie muh, my name's Emu
Eanie meanie muh, my name's Emu
My name's Emu and who are you
Well, if you have got a problem
You just let me do the talking
‘Cause I'm clever to the limit
Thinking faster by the minute
You can simply call me clever
I'm a genius, made forever
Stick with me and you'll feel better
People are so dumb
They think I am a bum
All of you can take a walk
When an Emu starts to talk.
Eanie meanie muh, my name's Emu
Eanie meanie muh, my name's Emu
My name's Emu and who are you
Two and two makes twenty-seven
And I'm on my way to heaven
Birds can talk and boys go flying
Babies scream and they start crying
When their mothers are too trying
Snails can run so fast - it's dreadful
If you need ideas I've got a head full
Dogs bark with their ears
And fish can't dry their tears
And an Emu only flies
If you dream with open eyes.
Eanie meanie muh, my name's Emu
Eanie meanie muh, my name's Emu
Eanie meanie muh, and who are you
At the end of his song, EMU puts himself in front of JOE.
Emu:Got it, you brain amputated, speechless dimwit?
Joe:Righto, Emo.
Emu:Emu.
Joe:That’s what I said, Emo.
Emu: Uuu! Emu - with a nice long uuu like in you!
Joe:There is no uuu in me.
Emu:Why not.
Joe:‘Cause.
Emu:Applause for the balla balla man.
Joe: No, the koala man.
Emu:What?
Joe:That’s my name.
Emu:That’s?
Joe:Koala.
Emu:Totally balla balla.
Joe: Koala Joe.
Emu:So, so.
Joe:Yes, like the koala here on my T-shirt. Just call me Koala Joe.
Emu:Unbelievable... He, Cuddle... did you hear that. Here’s someone who has an urge to make fun of you.
CUDDLE is sleeping high above in a eucalyptus tree. He slowly wakes up.
Cuddle:Uuuah.... stop yelling. I just was dozing off so nicely.
Emu:What do you mean ... just... you’re always snoring around here.
Cuddle:He who sleeps does not make mistakes. (yawns)
Emu:It might be a huge mistake if you would not take the chance to have a look at this nasty piece of work here. This thing says he is as balla balla as a koala.
Cuddle:Really? I have to see that. (He starts climbing down, but falls asleep again halfway down.)
Emu:He, Cuddle. You can sleep again later.
Cuddle:(opens one eye and sees JOE) Oh how sweet. Isn’t he cute? What a cuddly cutely. (Comes closer, grabs into his pouch and produces a eucalyptus lolly) Are you as hooked on eucalyptus lolls as I am?
Emu:You have to be very gentle with him. He is a little ding dong. Gets frightened very easily and has a slight knock knock in his dock dock.
Joe:Wow.
Emu:See what I mean?
Joe:A koala.
Emu:No, an ice bear. See what I mean?
Cuddle:Since I live in this zoo, I’d rather be an ice bear.