SLOBODAN GOVORČIN
“What about spoons?“
DRAMA IN THREE HALVES
Cast:
Protej Boh – younger son, Indian
Kornelije Boh – older son, Indian and fugitive
Adalbert Boh – an artist and a father
Cica Jerković Boh –yuppie first,then mother
Tatanka - instructor for young Indians
Neighbour Ráda – Adalbert’sfirst love
Bora Jerković –father-in-law, sleepwalkerand student
Married couple Pec, Cici and Adalbert –negatives of the married couple Boh
Godfather Milutin –a firefighter
Mile- Social worker- Godfather’s godfather
Cop- conceptualist
“INSTALLATION”
The flat is, except for a little room at the bottom of the scene, a studio of a hundred and twenty square metres. Only Protej is on the scene, he is telephoning and stirring food in a pot on the stove.
PROTEJ
Hello, firefighters? This is Protej, and who is this? Hello, godfather Milutin, I’m fine, and you? Grandpa’s fine, too. Godfather Milutin.. are we friends? If we are, then you won’t tell anyone that Kornelije ran away from home!? Right, my brother!
Kornelije is entering through the window from the street. Sneaking up behind Protej.
PROTEJ
Well.. yesterday, around five in the afternoon.. alright.. alright.. I will. Thank you, godfather Milutin! Goodbye! What? I won’t. For sure! I promise I’ll never fall from a building again. Bye!
Knocks him down on and “pins” him to the floor.
KORNELIJE
You’re a girl and a traitor!
PROTEJ
I’m not!
KORNELIJE
Who were you talking to on the phone? I heard you while I was coming inside.
PROTEJ
-Don’t worry, I called uncle Milutin, he is on our side! Where have you been? And why did you enter through the window? You know that ever since I fell..
KORNELIJE
-Ok, mum. I won’t ever again!
PROTEJ
-Fine..
KORNELIJE
-Hey, I’m really sorry! No one probably even noticed I was gone except for you. “Bag“!? “Tea bag“!
PROTEJ
-What do you want, “Corn Fox”?
The brothers greet each other in the Indian way and hug each other. They dance Indian dance while making the war cry sound.
PROTEJ
-Where did you sleep?
KORNELIJE
-In prairie, under the open sky, of course! Coyotes and me.
PROTEJ
-You’re kidding!? Did you really sleep outside? Where? Were you scared?
KORNELIJE
-Well.. I’m not little, like some..
Protej jumps on his brother and tries to knock him down. They're messing around. Weak bang echoes. In the wall opposite the audience, the door opens through which, along with the cloud of smoke, the boy's father enters.
ADALBERT
-Everything’s alright.. nothing’s wrong! Is the lunch ready?
PROTEJ
-It will be in a bit. I don’t have any tomato juice.
ADALBERT
-Kornelije, go to the store. Where’s your mother?
KORNELIJE
-Mum went to a symposium in Chile two days ago.
ADALBERT
-Really!? I haven’t noticed.. so she won’t be here for lunch. Pity! The two of you, go wash your hands and let’s have lunch! Food to energy, energy to idea, idea to matter, and matter to thought. Where’s Bora?
PROTEJ
-Grandpa is at school.
ADALBERT
-So who went to pick him up? Kornelije?
KORNELIJE
-The instructor was right. I wasn’t here either!
ADALBERT
-I.. I was in the “womb” for a moment... I’m in the middle of a problem and I think that.. What instructor?
KORNELIJE
-Indian instructor!
ADALBERT
-Oh..
PROTEJ
-You’ve got an instructor?
KORNELIJE
-Do you need anything else besides grandpa and tomato juice?
PROTEJ
-Get a flower to welcome your mum!
ADALBERT
-The money is…
KORNELIJE
-I know where mum keeps money!
Kornelije gets dressed, takes the money from the safe under the vase on the table and leaves. In passing, Adalbert moves his hand toward Kornelije’s head, but he pulls out and passes.
ADALBERT
-Is he angry? With me?
PROTEJ
-No, dad, he’ll get over it. Come on, help me strain the noodles.
Father and son are messing around the lunch. Half-naked neighbour with a bowl of rolls is knocks on the door.
RADA
-Hi, guys, what’s up? Cooking lunch? Wow, you’re so sweet. What a powerful erotica emanates from you while you’re standing like that! Simply..
ADALBERT
-Rada, please, be careful about what you’re saying in front of the boy.
RADA
-Oh, he’s a big boy. Do you have a girlfriend?
KORNELIJE
-I, aunty Rada, I am in the second grade of primary school and I have Serbian, maths, science, PE, and stuff like that. We get a girlfriend in the fifth grade!
RADA
-He’s fucking with me?
ADALBERT
-Please, don’t swear in front of the child. Thank you for the rolls, you shouldn’t have..
RADA
-Call me by my first name. We know each other inside out..
She approaches him. She tries to grab him inappropriately, Adalbert winces and knocks out the bowl of rolls from her hand.
ADALBERT
-Leave us, please!
RADA
-If your child weren’t here..
PROTEJ
-I’m not a child!
ADALBERT
-The lad’s here, and his mother and brother will soon be here too, you know, we are a perfect circle, something like a balloon, and any kind of interference is a disaster for us! I’m really sorry that you don’t understand, but it’s your fault.
RADA
-Honey, there are balloons without which I wasn’t even thinking you should “interfere” on my reproductive organs, and which are attested and don’t puncture that easily. There’s no doubt that your wife knows that very well too!
ADALBERT
-I don’t understand.. what’s that supposed to mean?
RADA
-That means that I can’t take away from you something you don’t have and that’s why you don’t have anything to be afraid of!
ADALBERT
Goes to the entrance door, opens it and gives her a sign with his hand that she should leave.
-Please.
RADA
-Sooner or later, dear neighbour.. sooner or later!
At the door, Rada grabs him for his privates and leaves while laughing.
PROTEJ
-Dad, what’s she saying about mum?
ADALBERT
-Son, our neighbour is a fool and what she’s saying has nothing to do with anything!
PROTEJ
-But she’s a nice fool?
ADALBERT
-Yes, son, she’s a nice fool. Let’s strain the noodles. I have to get back to work.
Rada is heard squalling from the hallway. Bora enters through the door carrying tomato juice in his hand.
BORA
- Mmhmm.. as soon as I graduate from college I’ll marry her! What is there to eat? And what time is it?
PROTEJ
- “Spagetti di Boh at half past two“, grandpa!
BORA
- Half past two? Out lectures ended at half past one, I probably “left” early, which means that I have to sleep.. for about twenty minutes after lunch if we eat right away!
PROTEJ
- Lunch’s ready, and where is Kornelije?
BORA
- I have no idea, I woke up on the doorway with a bottle of tomato juice in my hands!
ADALBERT
- Life is an individual labyrinth! He’s a clever boy. We should put some fuel into ourselves and get to our business!
Adalbert sets the table, and Bora pours “grandson’s specialty“ in plates. Protej is motionlessly looking at the door expecting his brother.
ADALBERT
- Son, where are our spoons?
PROTEJ
- I’ll get them dad, let it go..
ADALBERT
- It’s not a problem just tell me where they are and I’ll get them!
BORA
- The sauce got cold!
PROTEJ
- I’ll heat it up right away, just to..
ADALBERT
- No! Let me! Please!?
PROTEJ
- Oh, well..
Adalbert rushes to the bathroom. Bora and Protej are looking at him confused. Adalbert comes back with a hair dryer. Turns it on and starts heating up the sauce with it.
ADALBERT
- The culture of life is rejuvenated by discovering new methods! With new methods, we create new needs which, by their very appearance, instigate us to look back at the past ones -unfinished. Only in the constant synchronization of imperfect and desirable is the meaning, which..
PROTEJ
- Dad!?
ADALBERT
- What?
PROTEJ
- Grandpa has fallen asleep and I don’t understand a word you’re saying!
Bora is sleeping with his head leaning on the table with a ladle in his hand.
ADLBERT
- Oh, lucky him.. He’s got nothing to worry about.Our team fled!?
PROTEJ
- Should we move him?
ADALBERT
- Let him be, it’s better if I can see him. Give me the plate!
PROTEJ
- Dad, should we wait for Kornelije?
ADALBERT
- No, he’ll eat when he comes back from his class. Did he say he is going to Indian? Is that at school?
PROTEJ
- It isn’t Indian, butAmerican Indian! He left yesterday and..
ADALBERT
- Did he take his phone with him?
PROTEJ
- Dad, you’re not listening to me!
ADALBERT
- I’m listening, but I’m hungryand that’s why I’m going to eat while you’re talking! Want me to heat it up for you?What did you want to tell me?
With his eyes closedand while snoring, Bora gets up from the table andheads towards the balcony door.
PROTEJ
- Kornelije is.. grandpa’s going! Dad!!
ADALBERT
-Get him!
Protej jumps on Bora’s leg and grabs him as a monkey. Grandpa keeps going. Adalbert rushes to the balcony door and stands in front of him with his arms widespread. Bora touches his face with his hand, shakes his head, snores, and then changes the direction towards the front door. Adalbert jumps and puts himself in front of Bora again. They repeat that a few more times, and at the end Bora gives up and staysput to sleep.
ADALBERT
- It’s ok, son, let him be. He is where he’s supposed to be!
Where were we?
PROTEJ
- What?
ADALBERT
- You wanted something..
Another mild detonation is heard from the „womb“.Adalbert jumpssuddenly and rushes toward the doorof his workshop. He opens the door, and black smoke gets into the room.
- I knew it!
He jumps into the smoke and closes the door behind him. Protej remains with a shrivelled lookon the place where his father was standing until recently, then he looks at his sleepy grandfather. When he sees the havoc in front of him, he starts crying, childishly, honestly and unstoppably. Soon he calms down, wipes his tears, and starts eating. He stops, leaves the fork on the table, takesthe hair dryer and "blows" the dish.
„PRAIRIE“
Field, twilight. Piles of garbage are all around, slopes of the city dump can be seen. Kornelije, with a feather in his hair and a "home made" bow and arrow, follows his instructor, a hobowith long greasy hair and a stick in his hand, equipped with a lot of "nylonit", whostops to check the quality of the site with ancient, and just for this occasion, invented Indian techniques. Kornelije absorbs every move he makes.
TATANKA
- Here! The hub is quiet.. andthe obelisk islow.
Takes some dust in his hand, brings it to his face, closes his eyes andslowly lets it seep. Kornelije imitates him.
- Corn Fox, gather some branches while I lift up the wigwam.
Removes the cloth which he was wrapped in, pullssome ropes out of one of the bags, which he hangson the cloth, takes a stick which hethrusts into the ground, skilfullythrows the cloth over the stickand ties it with ropes, he tightens the lower ends and puts up larger rocks on them and there it is: wigwam (in Indian / house on the back!).
KORNELIJE
- Uncle Tatanka..
TATANKA
- Brother.. brother Tatanka.
KORNELIJE
- Brother Tatanka, those branches.. what size are they supposed to be?
TATANKA
- Various! Just get many, tonight is a very important night! The Beaver constellationisincohesionwith the Big Water. Allmother, Masukumik Okvi, used to offer the first fruits of the year on this day! Have I told you that I grew up in a world of palefaces, just like you now?
KORNELIJE
- You have, uncle.. brother Tatanka!
TATANKA
- Yes, my brother. My parents had no choice, they left me to save both themselves and me! I don’t blame them. I know they are in Eternal Hunting ground. You saved yourself in time! I almost lost my soul in that world.
KORNELIJE
- And what is soul?
TATANKA
- Soul?! Soul is light! It is a lighthouse that guides you through life, and when it’s your turn to go to the Eternal Hunting ground, Manita takes it from you and hands it over to the next one who is in line to be tempted. If you lose your light, you remain in the darkness where there is nothing but the darkness. Forever!
KORNELIJE
- And where is it? I found something on the Internet, but..
TATANKA
- On the Internet? You mean internative!? You’re still too young to be able to recognise itbut I’ll prepare you! When the day comes, you won’t go wrong. You just need to firmly believe in everything I show you!?
KORNELIJE
- I believe! I believe you, brother Tatanka!
TATANKA
- Alright! You can still go back home and we can forget the whole thing, but if you decide to stay, from this moment on, there’s no going backand I guarantee you that it won’t be a game for children!
KORNELIJE
- I'm not a kid and I want you to show me what the soul looks like! I want to be like you!
TATANKA
- Easy brother, easy. Always be careful what you choose! So you’re staying?
KORNELIJE
He brings a lot of branches of various sizes, puts them in front of him, folds his arms and takes a confident stance.
- You talk a lot as if you were a squaw! You’d better light a fire!
TATANKA
- You’ll be a good Indian!
Tatanka lights the fire in a modern way, with matches, and takes a couple of ritual objects that he carefully puts in front of him. A bottle of fire water, a pipe and a bag of "peace", a knife, a bag in which something is moving and a "MARS".
KORNELIJE
Come, sit by the fire..
Kornelije sits beside the fire in Turkish style (which the Indians later copied and acquired) and watches his guru silently. Tatanka fills the pipe, drinks some fire water, and offers the bottle toKornelije, whogets chills just of its scent but bravely swallows a sip.
TATANKA
-Come… drink. Go ahead! Do you smoke?
KORNELIJE
- No. I mean not yet!
TATANKA
- Even better!
KORNELIJE
- Tatanka.. brother, can I have that „ MARS“?
TATANKA
Lights the pipe and inhales several smokes. Offers the pipeto Kornelije.
- Yes, but after this, trust me! Inhale and hold it! You’ll start coughing but don’t worry, inhale again. It’s the same for everyone the first time.
TATANKA
- Big ghost, come down and smoke with me as a friend! Fire and ground smoke with me and help me destroy my enemies!
Tatanka is looking at him surprised. Kornelije literallyfollows the instructions: inhales, holds, coughs, inhales again. During that time the instructor levels down some more brandy.
TATANKA
- You’re lucky! Where would my end be had I met someone like me back then? I was innocent just like you, damn white people, they are always valued most. “Hot metal“, that’s what they call it. I learnt their language and their customs. I was trained to receive and give. Back then it seemed that there was nothing wrong in following their rules, because I got everything I wanted. “Industry of the other light“. Tons of artificial lightswhich stand in the way of yours and you, instead of following your path, you sail in false coordinates and imagined seas. False lighthouses which lead the common ship on the rocks, while on the deck the celebration is going on. At the site of shipwreck another ship is parkedwhich is taking its crew to an exoticdestinationfora shipwreck. There’s always someone helpless or crazy and they get them a rescue belt or an anchor! When you stop giving there’s no mercy. You’re left in the dark. I chose the anchor! I’m lucky that my path is exactly there, in the darkness! That’s where I found myself and the lighthouse would lead me thereanyway. I was lucky! Just like you.. my new, little brother.
KORNELIJE
Changes the pipe for brandy.
- Your darkness is the light? You’re a little crazy.
TATANKA
He stands above the fire and starts making a prophesy.
- I am the lighthouse! My role is to enlighten! My light illuminates their darkness. My light is real and the body burns from it! Are you ready to receive the light?
KORNELIJE
Wasted, through the smoke.
- Yeeees..
TATANKA
- Let’s go one by one. Do as I say, the ritual mustn’t stop! Take the chicken out of the bag, be careful so that it doesn’t run away.. put it on the ground and sit on it.. there you go.. now take this knife in your right arm..
KORNELIJE
- But..
TATANKA
- .. grab the chicken’s head with your left arm..
KORNELIJE
- But..
TATANKA
- No talking! Do as I say!
KORNELIJE
- But.. I’m left-handed!?
TATANKA
- Alright.. then take the knife in your left, chicken in your right hand, cut its head quickly and firmly, don’t think, just do it! That’s right. Put your mouth on the neck and drink as long as it leaks!That’s right..