Group Counseling: What is it and What are the Rules?
Adapted from an article written by Jack Corazinni, Ph.D.
Recently you came to Counseling and Psychological Services (CaPS) with something that had been troubling you, and during the session, group counseling was proposed as an intervention that could help you resolve your present dilemma. As you prepare yourself for membership in a counseling group you probably have a number of questions. These few pages are designed to answer some of those questions.
The first question many people usually have is, "Just what is group counseling anyway?" Group counseling is one of the many different forms of help that is offered at CaPS. Like traditional individual counseling, group work has a specific function. In group counseling, approximately 6-10 individuals meet face-to-face with a trained group counselor(s). During the group meeting time, members take responsibility for their situation by talking about what is troubling them. Members are also encouraged to give feedback to others. Feedback includes expressing your own feelings about what someone says or does. Interaction between group members is highly encouraged and provides each person an opportunity to try out new ways ofbehaving; it also provides members with an opportunity for learning more about the way they interact with others.
What makes this situation unique is that it is a closed and safe system. Usually after the second session, no new members are admitted into the group. People who join groups are instructed that the content of the group sessions is confidential. What people talk about or disclose in groups must remain among the members of the group. It is not appropriate for a group member to disclose events of the group to an outside person, unless it is one’s own personal information and does not refer to others. While it is fine to talk about your feelings and experiences in group with friends you trust, it is important to remember that other people in group may not feel comfortable sharing with another person, even that they attend group. So, for example, if you see another group member walking down the street with a friend you may approach them and say “hi”, if that is okay with the person; however, it is not a good idea to say, “How about that group last week?”
The first few sessions of group usually focus on the establishment of trust. During this time, members usually work to establish a level of trust that allows them to talk personally and honestly. Group trust is enhanced when all members make a commitment to the group. This is why we ask you to make a commitment to group to attend for a number of weeks when you first come to group. The first few weeks, when group maybe scary and there may not be strong feelings of trust and safety, can be very hard. Usually we find that if you can stick it out for the first several weeks, group gets easier after that and feels more like its helping.
Another question that people often ask is, "Why does group counseling work?" There are a number of reasons why group counseling works. It is important to note several of those: (a) When people come into a group and interact freely with other group members, they usually recreate those difficulties that brought them to group therapy in the first place. Under the direction of a group counselor, the group is able to give support, offer alternatives, or gently confront the person in such a way that the difficulty becomes resolved and alternative behaviors are learned. (b) The group allows a person to develop new social techniques or ways of relating to people. (c) During group counseling, people begin to see that they are not alone and can be helped. Many times people feel very unique in their problems. It is encouraging to hear that other people have a similar difficulty or have already worked through a problem that deeply disturbs another group member. The group fosters a sense of hope and a feeling that one is not alone. (d) Another reason why group counseling works is that with this climate of trust, people feel free to care about and help each other.
"What do I talk about when I am in group counseling?" Talk about what brought you to CaPS in the first place. Tell group members what is bothering you. If you need support, let the group know. If you think you need confrontation, let them know this also. It is important to tell people what you expect of them. In addition, you will probably be most helped and satisfied if you talk about your feelings. Unexpressed feelings are a major reason why people experience difficulties. When feelings are unexpressed, they tend to debilitate us. For instance, unexpressed anger or guilt often becomes depression. The “psychological safety” of the group permits the expression of those feelings, which are often very difficult to express outside the group.
When we talk about revealing our feelings, we are talking about self-disclosure. Self-disclosure is an important part of group and relates very much to how well people get helped. How much you talk about yourself depends upon what you are comfortable with. Group is not a place where people are forced to tell their most deep and intimate thoughts. You are ultimately responsible for how much you share. However, remember that if group is working then you should feel mildly uncomfortable, as change is generally not comfortable at first. If you never take risks, even small ones, the group cannot be as helpful for you.
"Are there any ground rules for my participation in the group?" There are six:
1. It is expected that you come to group every week unless there is some emergency that prevents you from attending.
2. If you are going to miss a session, please let one of the group leaders know.
3. If you have decided that you have gained as much as possible from the group, or that the group is not the most appropriate form of treatment for you, then we ask that you come to the group and say goodbye. We also ask that when you first come to group, you give the group several weeks before you decide whether you want to stay or not.
4. It is the responsibility of each person to talk about his/her reasons for being in the group. Talking about present or “here and now” feelings is usually the most helpful way to solve problems.
5. One thing that helps people is the knowledge that having a feeling and acting on it are two different actions. The way we most respect ourselves and others is by experiencing feelings and then allowing ourselves to talk about them. Acting the feelings out (for example, getting violent) is not acceptable in the group.
6. The group sessions are confidential. Group members are asked not to disclose the contents of group sessions outside of group.
We hope that this experience is a good one for you.
INTRODUCTION TO THE GROUP EXPERIENCE
You have a right to know how we work with people in groups, what we encourage, and what we challenge. The following values give you an idea of what to expect.
CHANGEThinking, feeling, or acting in new ways can be frightening and difficult, and so most human change occurs slowly, almost imperceptibly. Dramatic changes are rare. Even so, it is easy to avoid change. If you find yourself saying, “That's the way I am, and I cannot do anything about it," you may find yourself challenged by the group.
PRESENTThe group will focus on the present as well as the past. We will examine feelings, attitudes, and reactions in the group as they happen. This is different from everyday conversation, in which we usually hide many of our true thoughts and feelings.
LISTENINGListening to others is hard work. It is much easier to hear the beginning of someone's comment, then tune the rest of it out because we think we already understand the point. In the group we will work toward really listening to what people are saying, what they mean, how they are feeling, and what they want from the rest of the group.
ADVICEIt is usually not helpful to give advice. The goal is for you to become increasingly responsible for finding your own solutions to problems. The assumption is that you need to feel truly understood, rather than to be told what to do. You are the expert on yourself.
FEEDBACKThe group will offer reactions to what you say. They will tell you how they are feeling, what they are hearing, or ask for clarification. But you will make your own decisions about any solutions you choose to try.
BLAMEBlaming others for your situation is usually not helpful. When people blame others, they are usually avoiding taking responsibility for themselves. Blaming will most likely be discouraged.
EXPERIMENTThe group is a place for you to experiment with new behavior. Fear of the unknown will probably occur, but trying new things inside the group is usually a good idea. If you wish, you may then try that behavior outside the group as well.
RECEIVING FEEDBACK IN GROUPS
Receiving feedback is just as important as giving it. It is not always easy to listen to the honest feelings of others, especially when those feelings are responses to your own comments or behavior. The following guidelines are designed to help you get the most from the feedback of others in the group.
1.Ask for feedback when you need it and when you are curious about how your behavior is affecting others. Ask for it even when you are afraid of what you might hear.
2.Receive it without argument. Simply listen to it and acknowledge it.
3.Avoid excuses.
4.Express appreciation to persons who care enough about you to share their own
experiences of you.
5.Discuss it. Do not respond with blank stares.
6.Try to see feedback as an opportunity for you to continue exploring something in your life.
7.If the feedback is about your behavior in the group, tell the group how you intend to respond to the feedback.
8.Avoid getting mad, getting even, or becoming silent.
9.Ask for clarification when you need it.
10.Think about what you have learned. And think again.
GIVING FEEDBACK IN GROUPS
We give "feedback" by talking directly to another member of the group. We tell that person something specific: how we feel about what was just said, what we see the other person doing in the group, etc. Feedback is more useful when the following guidelines are kept in mind.
1.Be as specific as you can in the comments you make.
2.Make sure that your feedback is relevant to the concerns of the person with whom you are speaking.
3.Try to give your feedback as soon as you can. It is not always possible to give it immediately, but offer your comments as soon as it is practical.
4.Talk directly to the person, rather than to someone else about the person.
Also, direct comments are better than hints.
5.Give the person a chance to respond to your feedback.
6.Give feedback with care, compassion, and empathy.
7.Giving feedback is not the same as attacking or hurting. Avoid sarcasm and
condescension.
8.Beware of using feedback to nag or hound someone else in the group. You can
repeat comments you have made earlier, but such comments are better received when
the person has actually asked you for repetitive feedback.
9.Judgmental comments are not helpful. Words like “right” and “wrong” are powerful, and usually sound judgmental.
10.Feedback consists of reactions you have and not advice.
GOALSETTING IN THE GROUP
You probably have some goals in mind to work in group. You may have decided that you wish to make certain changes in your life. Below are some statements that others have written as goals for themselves. Some of them may apply to you. For each sentence below, write the number that most nearly matches your self-evaluation. Notice that you may either increase or decrease your experience for each item. Use the following rating system:
1 = I want to significantly increase this.
2 = I want to somewhat increase this.
3 = I want this to remain the same.
4 = I want to somewhat decrease this.
5 = I want to significantly decrease this.
Please feel free to write any comments you wish in the margins.
1._____My ability to relate more effectively with men and/or women.
2._____My comfort level in being able to talk in a group.
3._____My understanding of how I seem to do the same thing, over and over.
4._____My understanding of my own limitations, faults, mistakes.
5._____My tendency to become discouraged when my ideas are not accepted.
6._____My ability to carry out changes that I think are important.
7._____My ability to talk openly about my own fears, failures.
8._____My ability to talk with new acquaintances.
9._____My ability to begin conversations with others outside the group.
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10._____My willingness to see the viewpoint of others.
11._____My understanding of my own sexuality.
12._____My self-control in relationships.
13._____My ability to express myself clearly to others.
14._____My self-composure in talking with others.
15._____My ability to identify my own feelings.
16._____My ability to discuss my feelings with men and/or women.
17._____My ability to perceive people correctly.
18._____My ability to understand the feelings of others.
19._____My ability to trust other people.
20._____My ability to overcome fears and doubts.
21._____My ability to make significant changes.
Now, go back over the 21 items mentioned above. Select three (3) that you believe are most important to you at this point in your life.
- ______
- ______3. ______
It is possible that you have goals that are not mentioned in the above list. Simply write them in the space below. You may use the back of this sheet if you need more space.
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