DISCEPTATIO.June 2000: Vol. 3 Number 20Page 1 of 433
Difficult to pronounce, yet so easy to read
Our Philosophy:
1.You cannot win a discussion, but a Fool will always try.
2.Truth is relative to the known facts.
3.Opinions are the birthright of every free Man and Women. Nevertheless, it does not necessarily follow that such opinions are correct.
4.The other guys are usually just as sincere in their beliefs as you are in yours.
5.Right and Wrong are beliefs, not absolutes.
Copyright.
Editorial copyright rests with the publisher. All rights reserved. The publisher is not free to offer clearance on copyright material published in Disceptatio. Clearance may be obtained from the appropriate author. The views expressed in Disceptatio are not necessarily those of the publisher, and no responsibility is implied or accepted. You are free to distribute Disceptatio in its entirety, but
PLEASE DO NOT SPAM
Disceptatio is published in the UK by the Electronic Dolphin
ISSN 1466-0245
Disclaimer.
The publisher, editors, or assignees of Disceptatio are NOT responsible for claims made by advertisers. Please use caution when answering an advertisement or submitting any form of payment. Advertisers may terminate, or move, and prices may change without notice.
The publisher and editors of Disceptatio DO NOT claim ownership of published jokes. Jokes are presented to evoke laughter and are NOT intended to offend any person(s). Some jokes may contain adult language.
© 2000 Disceptatio
DISCEPTATIO MASTHEAD:
CONTACT:NAME:E-MAIL:
Editor
Associate EditorJennifer A.
Book ReviewsBelle
Humour
PoetryAlan
Kegels KornerStan
Columnist Don
The Rusty HingRusti Kanzc/o Editor
Web Site
Web Maintenance
ToolBox
***********************************************************************
GUIDELINES for SUBMISSIONS
We will never publish a home or e-mail address unless instructed to do so by the author.
No payment will be made for any submissions published.
1.Submissions are invited on any subject, except pornography or adult material.
2.Submissions must be in "English", although they may be in your "National English" using appropriate grammatical conventions. Grammatical consistency and correct spelling are requested.
3.Articles/Poems should normally not exceed 2000 words.
4.Please submit in "Arial" font - 10 point, with single-spacing if possible.
5.Coloured text, graphics, and links may be used.
6.Author retains all rights. Full credit will be given.
- Submissions may be sent to the appropriate Sub Editor or to the Associate Editor.
Associate EditorJennifer A. Czaplewski
Book ReviewsBelle
Humour
PoetryAlan
Kegels KornerStan
The Rusty HingeRusti Kanzc/o Editor
ToolBoxc/o
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ItemPage
FRONTISPIECE1
MASTHEAD2
GUIDELINES3
TABLE OF CONTENTS4
WAFFLE ONby the Editor5
REQUIEMby the staff5-12
WISH YOU WERE HEREby Romona Hill12-22
THE RUSTY HINGEby Rusti Kanz23-25
MAGNOLIAS AND POLKWEEDS by Belle Lunceford26-28
KEGEL’S KORNERby Stan Kegel28-30
LUCID PETUNIASby Alan Webb30-40
CLASSIFIED Your Gateway to the Internet40-43
Waffle Onby the Editor
As you know, our beloved editor, Stan Walker has, as Shakespear put it – shuffled off this mortal coil. He will be sorely missed. While Stan himself would probably disdain my doing so, I can not help but recount a few of his virtues. He was, despite his rough exterior, a very caring and compassionate man, who, at least in my dealings with him in Disceptatio, always sough to be fair and even handed. He never made a decision on policy without first doing his best to determine that who would be affected, and really tried to minimize any adverse affect. I apologise in advance for the sparseness of this issue. Stan’s death came quite suddenly and we were not prepared either emotionally or editorially.
Since Stan Walker’s death was unexpected, there are a few issues that have not been able to be resolved. For one Stan lived in England, he was the only Disceptatio staff member who lived in Europe, thus access to his computer records, and programs, such as Adobe writer, letters regarding Disceptatio, emails, etc are effectively unobtainable (although I would be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and go, if anybody wants to spring for plane fare!) and if you want answers to your letters, you’ll have to resubmit them to
Don’t forget – Contacts, Submission details, and our Guidelines, plus full details and Profiles of everyone working for “Disceptatio” can all be found on our Web Site -
ENJOY.
I don't think it's very useful to open wide the door foryoung artists; the ones who break down the door are moreinteresting.
- Paul Schrader
REQUIEM
Jenna Czaplewski:
No one ever really knows what to say when a person dies. Everyone is sorry. Everyone hangs their head and tsk-tsk-tsks the passing, mumbling that he was so young or she lived a long, full life. Everyone hugs the loved ones, brings over countless containers of easy-bake quiche and casserole and promises that they’ve been where you now are and, truly, time will heal all.
And while death always stings worst those left behind, what almost hurts more is not getting to say good-bye. There’s a certain hole that’s created and stays open when you lose someone suddenly. And I’m sorry if that sounds cliché, but it’s true.
I have a rule for my family, my co-workers and my friends: never leave without saying good-bye. Whether it’s for an hour, until tomorrow or before the weekend, never leave without saying good-bye. It’s a hard and fast rule I have for one main reason – you never know what may happen and I never want to feel – or have anyone else feel – as though I missed my chance to say good-bye.
I guess I’ll just have to forgive you, Stan, for not saying good-bye. Godspeed, my friend, thank you for your confidence, your integrity, your humor, for taking a chance on a novice like me – thank you for you.
Don Barbera:
Do You Make A Difference?
It’s a funny thing about life – it doesn’t matter whether you choose to live it or not, it goes on anyway. It doesn’t care if you like it or not, it goes on without you. When you’re considering how to live your life, think about what would happen if you weren’t here. For many of us, the time-space continuum would barely waver if we were to disappear this very instant.
However, for a few, relentless time actually pauses for a moment to tip its galactic hat to someone who tried to make that difference and so it did with Stan. Few live the life that is theirs to live as we hustle about making a living, ignoring the fact that we only get to do this once. The very fact that Stan was involved with “Disceptatio” speaks of his desire to make a difference.
My question to those who live on is “do you make a difference?” Is the world a better place because you are here or would no one know you left without noticing the door ajar? Living quiet lives of desperation, we chase our tails trying to make a living and forget that life is about living to the fullest degree and that means taking risks, bumping our heads in failure and celebrating our personal success.
We have little to sustain us in this world than our family, friends and our beliefs, but if we have touched somebody, if we have made a difference in someone’s life, if we have lived life on our own terms – then we have made a difference. If not, then we are just placeholders spinning our wheels in the dark. Disceptatio made a difference. Stan made a difference. Yet, the question remains, do you make a difference?
Alan Webb:
The night’s blue dark
Today is not a good day to die
Like a stranger on the path
The garden gate is closed
And the honeysuckle flowers have fallen
Cold sunlight gives no comfort
Only the clarity of dreams
Where the moon howls at the earth
And white doves fly on wings of fire
So walk slowly into night’s blue dark
My friend
Your poem is unfinished
But the metaphor is complete
Its rhythm is a slow drum
And the space between is silent
The silence of waiting
I see the eyes of a child
Behind shuttered windows
Closing
Now closed to the animal inside
As in the winter’s air
The last breath sighs
It’s requiem
For what was
And might have been
Romona:
For Stan
You came into my life and left so soon, but I'm the richer for having known you . . .
I miss you, my friend - goodbye.
Romona
Stan Kegel:
What can you say at a time like this? One day we hear he has cancer. A few days later it is over. So fast.
I knew Stan only a short time. He had a vision of what an e-zine should be and was well on his way to fully accomplishing his goals when he was stricken.
We will all miss him. My thoughts are for the loved ones he left behind.
Don Parker:
STAN, WE HARDLY KNEW 'YA
With computers almost ubiquitous and e-communicating virtually a way of life in these technologically frenzied times I suppose it was inevitable that a relationship, such as the one I enjoyed with Stan Walker, would come about. Stan was a friend, a mentor, a boss and a sounding board (and sometimes all four), but I never met him face to face.
I spend a lot of time at my keyboard, writing for a variety of publications, and it was through one of those publications that Stan first contacted me. I don't recall if it was because of a magazine article or a column, but I remember receiving an e-mail from someone named Stan Walker. He told me he edited an on-line publication called Disceptatio, had seen some of my work, and asked if I would write for him.
Although I couldn't pronounce Disceptatio (I still can't) he made his offer irresistible by assuring me I would not be paid one penny for my time and further, he would reserve the right to edit anything I submitted. Of course I agreed immediately. I was then writing for at least three other publications which didn't pay either and it's my belief that one can't ever do enough free work.
He e-mailed me several back issues of Disceptatio and I was impressed by the eclectic character and by the different writing styles. I learned that although he lived in Shropshire, England, his writing team was scattered around the globe and columns, articles and poems were forever zipping across both oceans so they could be edited and eventually compiled into a finished edition of Disceptatio. It was an interesting concept and I was eager to become a part of it.
Stan and were in frequent contact and I came to admire his dry wit and droll sense of humor. He was a well-read man with wide literary interests and with an insatiable curiosity. I admit there were times I found some of his "Britishisms" mystifying, but this only served to confirm that the United States and Great Britain are indeed similar countries separated by a common language.
Initially, he suggested I write 250 words for him on a topic of my choosing and I agreed, little realizing how difficult this would be. I have spent years writing columns of 650-850 words and it's almost automatic to me. To suddenly try to shoehorn a column idea into these impossibly tight boundaries proved to be quite the challenge. My first attempt was gruelling and it must have taken me eight tries to come up with something that was only slightly less than wretched. After two days of cutting and pruning I finally submitted the result, but not before complaining loud and long about the anemic word allowance. Stan immediately agreed that I could write up to 2,000 words if I wished. Turned out he thought he was doing me a favor, figuring I would have an easier time just doing 250 words.
From that point on things became easier and I soon came to enjoy the freedom of rattling on for 1500-2000 words on any topic of my choosing. I prefer to stick with the slice-of-life genre, highlighting the absurdity of the human condition by commenting on what I see happening around me, but I also wrote a Christmas remembrance column along with some columns Stan suggested.
Like me, he was an admirer of the writings of Lewis Carroll and he thought a column that discussed the poem Jabberwocky might be interesting. While eager to comply I was at a loss as to what angle I should take until he hit on the idea of having me "interview" Humpty Dumpty who appears in Through The Looking Glass. That gave me the hook I needed and it turned out to be my favorite column.
Occasionally Stan would allude to health problems, but he was never very specific and when he told me he had been hospitalized for something or other I was concerned, but not worried. Then he told us he had been diagnosed with lung cancer and it was not long after that we received word of his death.
As with the passing of any friend his death has left a hole in my life, but this is more unsettling than usual because of the nature of our relationship. This was a person I only knew through the e-mail we exchanged, but I learned a lot about him, discovered areas of common interest, admired his talent and creativity and ultimately forged a warm (albeit electronic) friendship. But to then have that relationship come to such an abrupt end leaves me without the sense of closure I would have if I had met him or even gone to his funeral.
Stan was a unique individual and I regret that we never had the chance to spend several evenings sitting in a bar (or pub), foaming mugs in hand, discoursing on philosophical concepts great and small, defending and attacking the great writers, and eventually solving all the insoluble problems of the body politic before we staggered off to a satisfied sleep.
Rather than try to close with thoughts about my friend, Stan, that would probably become way too saccharine, I'll let Robert Louis Stevenson say it for me.
REQUIUM
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.
This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
Elsie Roark:
In travelling the cyberhighway, we all know we take a chance. Who knows if the person we interact with is what they appear to be? On the Internet, we can be anything we please - who's to know?
Not so with Stan Walker. From the beginning, you somehow sensed that he was genuine - the real deal. How could someone be such a contradiction and not be the real thing? Let me give you an example. Stan was all for women's rights. He believed that women were indeed equal, and if they were more suited to the work place than the hearth, so be it. And yet, his manners were courtly, even old-fashioned, when it came to the fairer sex. As he told us, "My mother told me, treat all women as you would like your sister to be treated." Now, this is not a verbatim quote, but it sums up the essence of Stan and his belief in the way things ought to be.
He believed that kindness towards his fellow man was important, rather one agreed with his philosophy or not. While he would cringe at such descriptions as " a nice man", indeed, that was what he was. I will miss him very much, but I'll remember always our all too brief friendship.
Jean Goddin
Stan Walker, (or Ed or Clun as he also signed his emails) was a most
unusual youngish man. It is difficult to explain how someone you have
only met and known electronically can make an impression and create
memories in such a few months. But Stan did that with all of the people
I know about. He was intelligent, kind, generous, well traveled,
friendly and a father to a young lad. And even though for the time I
knew him online he lived "just outside of a small village in Wales" he
not only conversed with and brought together a group of people
electronically from all over the world, he managed to get them to work
together as a team to create an electronic magazine, Disceptatio. He
also issued an invitation to everyone that "if you are ever in the
neighborhood, please drop by and stay a while."
Stan wasexperienced in many areas and knew how to do many things, but he
wasn't totally computer literate. He knew what he wanted to do, knew
what computer tools should work to accomplish that, and when it didn't
work like he thought it should was able to find people who would help
and explain so at least he could understand what was going on even if he
couldn't fix it. He made people want to zap through the wires of the
internet and put his system right or get his software to work together.
He was a gentle man as well as a gentleman with strong opinions. He
could drop a pebble into a conversation and cause ripples of response
that would go on for days. His questions made people think about their