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Grace Bible Church of Auburn, Ca.
Marriage & Family God’s Way:
Submission of the Wife
Eph 5:15-6:4 Part 4
I. Introduction
A. TURN TO Passage to read…
Eph 5:15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
B. Proposition: Submission of the Wife
1. The Requirement of Submission: V.22a
2. The Reality of Submission: V.22b
3. The Reason for Submission: V.23
4. The Reaffirmation of Submission: v.24
II. The Requirement of Submission: V.22a
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands,
A. COMMAND: be subject
1. Carried down from V.21 = keep continually being subject
2. “be subject” = “to arrange under” = military term = submit, obey, be in subjection to
B. “to your own husband” = very clear RESTRICTION on WHO you are to submit to!
1. ONLY to “your own husband”!
C. Restriction of Submission:
1. Peter taught us
1 Pe 2:13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution,
a) Very clear!
2. But in Acts we read the Story of the disciples spreading the gospel:
a) The Disciples had been order to stop preaching about Christ
b) They disregarded this order and were caught doing it again
c) So, they were taken back to the Jewish Council
Ac 5:27 When they had brought them, they stood them before the Council. The high priest questioned them, 28 saying, “We gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and yet, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us.” 29 But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men…So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name.
3. What’s the principle here? Do we obey every human institution or not?
4. A: OBEY unless be TOLD to DISOBEY GOD!
5. Same true in marriage: Obedience to God is greater than obedience to husband!
6. That’s the RESTRICTION on OBEDIENCE!
D. BUT – that’s the ONLY restriction!
1. NO OTHER REASON to NOT SUBMIT!
2. “BUT – you don’t know my husband!”
a) God does and he says submit!
3. “I don’t agree with him and I know better! – SUBMIT
4. “We don’t have anything in common…” – SUBMIT
E. AGAIN – CONTEXT!
1. This ONLY works with SPIRIT-FILLED BELIEVERS!
2. A Spirit-filled WIFE KNOWS that God will bless her submission in a situation of a not-Spirit-filled husband.
a) She knows that not submitting will be even worse!
b) Her Husband AND God will be against her!
3. AND – Don’t focus on the corner cases!
a) IF both sides are Spirit-filled, this leads to the most blessed of marriages!
b) Why? We’ll see that the husband is to SACRIFICE for his wife and
(1) Love her as Christ loves the Church
(2) And – treat her as he cares for his own body!
4. Don’t RUIN your chance at a heavenly marriage by NOT doing YOUR SIDE of the EQUATION!
F. AND – who’s our example of Submission? A: Jesus Christ
1. Remember – Submission EXISTS in the Godhead – we’ve talked about this
2. 1 Cor 11:3 God is the Head of Christ
a) Christ does the Will of God the Father
b) Holy Spirit does the Will of Christ (John 16:13)
3. No one is being asked to do something that is not already done in the Godhead
4. If you need to – go back to the 2 previous sermons that built the base for where we are today and SEE THIS!
G. BUT – are there good biblical examples of submissive wives? Peter said there are!
1 Peter 3:5-6 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
1. Peter – I’m not telling you ANYTHING NEW about submission!
2. in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God
a) OT woman saints
b) holy women = those who hoped in God! = Believers
c) NOT focusing on women of EXTREME HOLINESS - JUST FOCUSING on SAVED OT WOMEN
d) Hoped in God = continuously believed in God = idiom for belief
3. 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord,
a) Let’s get specific! Sarah and Abraham!
b) calling him lord,
(1) CONSTANTLY, CONTINUALLY, called him lord
(2) IOW = quick illustration that she CONSTANTLY, CONTINUALLY, submitted / obeyed him.
(3) Shows ATTITUDE/ACTIONS of COMPLETE submission
4. and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
a) and you have become her children
(1) =Sarah is a valid, good example to you BECAUSE you became like her spiritually when you became Christian
(2) When you “do what is right” (obey God), YOU SHOW you are CHILDREN of SUBMISSION AS SARAH was.
b) if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
(1) “if you do what is right”
(a) = DO WHAT IS RIGHT BY GOD’S STANDARD!
c) without being frightened by any fear.
(1) Peter assures wives that God knows what they face – and they SHOULD NEVER, EVER be afraid of what HE MAY DO.
(2) “any” = “not once, EVER” be afraid.
(3) Peter has ALREADY TOLD her WHO TO FEAR – 3:2 FEAR GOD! (in fear behavior)
d) Sum= Submission, AS SEEN in SARAH = ALWAYS obeying GOD, NEVER EVER fearing your husband.
e) SHE and the other women OT saints are examples to all women for all time!
H. Transition – that’s the REQUIREMENT, BUT here’s the KEY to it ALL…
III. The Reality of Submission: V.22b
22 …as to the Lord.
A. = “as you submit to your husband, so you also submit to the Lord”
B. If a large circle represents your life of submission to the Lord,
1. The within that circle is a SMALLER CIRCLE of submission to your husband
C. BUT – don’t be confused – YOU ARE SUBMITTING DIRECTLY to your husband!
1. This SUBMISSION is BECAUSE the LORD COMMANDS it
2. AND – this submission is CONSISTENT to the LORD’s WILL
3. AND – this submission is with the SAME ATTITUDE as you submit to the LORD
a) Willingly
b) Pleasingly, joyously, etc.
c) A BAD Attitude is WRONG both to your husband and to the Lord!
D. KEY PARALLEL passages that teach these same principles
1. In fact, this whole section is taught in Colossians 3:18-4:1
Col 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
2. Peter even tells wives who have unsaved husbands:
1 Pe 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, …
E. BL: Wives SUBMITTING to HUSBANDS
1. IS in the SAME WAY as you SUBMIT to the LORD
2. IS PART OF your SUBMISSION to the LORD
3. IS done “in the fear of Christ” per v.21 such that He will chasten / correct you if you get off the path of holiness in your role as a wife!
F. Transition – that’s the basic command as seen in
1. The Requirement
2. The Reality
3. Next …
IV. The Reason for Submission: V.23
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
A. God tells us WHY the wife is to submit!
B. There is a GOD-GIVEN ORDER to RELATIONSHIPS
C. GOD-GIVEN ROLES
D. And – the WIFE can SEE SUBMISSION “modeled” / “lived out” in the Church!
E. “For” = SUBMIT “FOR” this REASON
F. “the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is also the head of the church”
G. What’s the key to understanding the REASON for submission? A: Understanding what “the head of” means!
1. Two uses of “head” with an over-riding meaning of Preeminence or prominence – first and foremost
2. then the meanings fall under that as EMPHASIS
3. ONE: Preeminent one with emphasis on AUTHORITY
Eph 1:22 And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church,
a) Christ = the preeminent one to whom AUTHORITY has been given
4. TWO: Preeminent one with emphasis on SOURCE
Eph 4:15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.
a) Christ = the preeminent one who is the SOURCE from which believers grow
H. Given the context, which applies to v.23?
1. A: Authority
2. Obviously, the husband isn’t the “source” of anything! (at least not anything good! J )
3. Context = wife SUBMITTING to the Husband = authority context
4. Also, v.24 compares the church’s subject to the wife’s = authority and submission
I. So, “head” = first and foremost with an EMPHASIS on AUTHORITY
J. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife,
1. = The HUSBAND has AUTHORITY over the WIFE.
K. NOTE: “head” DOES NOT = SUPERIOR
1. Husband is NOT BETTER THAN / NOT SUPERIOR / NOT EARNED
2. this is POSITION POWER BECAUSE GOD PUT HIM in the POSITION!
3. IOW – these ARE GOD-GIVEN ROLES / POSITIONS for the SAKE of UNITY in the MARRIAGE
a) HARMONY
b) PEACE
c) BLESSING!
L. Let’s comment on SUPERIORITY / INFERIORITY / EQUALITY!
1. FIRST – is there ANY SUPERIORITY / INFERIORITY between man and woman?
a) A: Yes!... BUT…
b) YES, Woman is the weaker vessel!
1 Pe 3:7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
(1) Literally – “as a weaker vessel – the wife”
(a) COMPARATIVE TERM! “weaker”
(i) IMPLICATION – MEN ARE WEAK!
(ii) Woman are MERELY WEAKER!
(iii) If ALL of us are WEAK – Who is STRONG? GOD ALONE!
(b) Key to understanding – word “VESSEL”
(i) USED in Scripture as a physical object
(ii) Relating to persons = physical body.
(iii) Here – setup appositionally to “the wife”
(c) Relating to the husband’s role –
(i) REMEMBER SHE NEEDS A PHYSICAL HEAD PROTECTOR AND PROVIDER.
(ii) AND subtle reminder that HUSBAND IS WEAK TOO!
(2) Woman is WEAKER, MAN IS WEAK!
(3) That is the ONLY way woman is in any way “less” than a man
2. SECOND - Key to SUPERIORITY / INFERIORITY / EQUALITY – STARTS with OUR STANDING BEFORE Christ!
a) Remember what we learn about our corporate salvation back in Eph 2:11-22?
Eph 2:11 Therefore remember that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh, who are called “Uncircumcision” by the so-called “Circumcision,” which is performed in the flesh by human hands— 12 remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall, 15 by abolishing in His flesh the enmity, which is the Law of commandments contained in ordinances, so that in Himself He might make the two into one new man, thus establishing peace, 16 and might reconcile them both in one body to God through the cross, by it having put to death the enmity.
(1) TWO things to see here!
(2) ONE – ALL humanity is categorized here by JEW and GENTILE
(3) SO – WOMAN on SAME FOOTING as MAN – IN SAME BOAT – either Jew boat or Gentile boat
(4) What did Christ do at the Cross?
(a) V.15 Create the “ONE NEW MAN”
(b) NOT Gentile becomes Jew
(c) SOMETHING ENTIRELY NEW – NEVER EXISTED BEFORE
(5) Is woman any different than man in this “one new man”? NO!
(6) What does that say spiritually?