A STRANGE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
Ruth 2:17-3:18
This morning we are going to continue our study of Ruth and I want to begin by asking you, “What is the strangest marriage proposal that you have ever seen?”
· Think about that just a minute.
Some people do some really strange things when it comes to proposing marriage.
· We have probably all seen clips where a couple are at a baseball game…and in the middle of the game up on the giant Jumbo Tron a message comes up and it says, “Will you marry me?”
· We all like it when we see something like that.
· There was one guy who proposed to his girl friend through a whisper chain. (59 people long.)
I think the best marriage proposal that I have ever heard about was between an older couple in a nursing home.
· It seems that 82 year old Philip called 79 year old Mary one morning and said, “Mary, this is Philip and I am sorry to bother you this early in the morning…and I am a little embarrassed…but last night I asked you to marry me…and I can’t remember what your answer was.
· And Mary said, “O Philip, I am so glad you called. I remember saying “Yes” but I couldn’t remember who I said it too.”
There are a lot of unique ways…strange ways that people propose marriage...and the marriage proposal found here in Ruth 3, at least to us, is one of them.
· It may not have been strange for the people at the time…it may not have been strange for their culture…but for us it seems pretty strange.
But now realize that God doesn’t give this to us just because it may seem strange…He gives this account to us to teach us some important lessons…lessons about marriage…lessons about the kind of person you need to look for when you are considering marriage…and even some lessons to all of on what marriage should be.
· So let’s look at this marriage proposal and learn from it.
When we left our story last time Ruth had been gathering sheaves in the field of a man named Boaz and she has been treated very special.
· And she comes back to Naomi with all of this grain that she has collected from Boaz’s field.
· And in chapter 2:19, Ruth’s mother-in-law asks her, “Where did you glean today? Where did you work?”
· And Ruth tells her mother-in-law that the man that allowed her to glean was a man named “Boaz.”
And in vs. 20, when Naomi sees all that Boaz has done for Ruth…when she sees all the extra grain that he has permitted Ruth to bring home…she says, “This man is our kinsman-redeemer” or he is the one who has and will redeem them from their troubles.
And if you read vs. 21-23 you find that Ruth gleaned in Boaz’ field until the barley and wheat harvest were over.
Now, when we come to chapter 3 Naomi devises a plan so that Ruth can let Boaz know how she feels about him…a plan to let Boaz know that Ruth is willing to marry him…or be redeemed by him.
Look starting in vs. 1:
Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you?
Now notice Naomi says, “My daughter, shall I not seek security for you.”
· That word “security” literally means “a settled spot.”
· Ruth has been working out in the fields and living with Naomi.
· Noami is getting old…what would happen to Ruth when something happened to Naomi?
· Ruth needed security…a settled spot.
· And that is what marriage is supposed to be…a place where you feel secure…a settled spot…home.
· Marriage is not supposed to be a place of insecurity and uncertainty.
· If you feel uncertain and insecure with that boy or girl they may not be the right choice.
Now it may also be that Naomi wants Ruth to have “a settled spot” for her heart…no longer seeking for the affections of a husband.
· She may want a settlement in the married state for Ruth.
· And that is what marriage should be…a married state should be a place where young people find security for their affections.
· No more shopping around…no more playing the field.
· If he or she is not the one that you can find “a settled spot” for your affections with…if she is not the one that can fulfill your desires and satisfy your passions…or if they are not willing to secure their own affections…they may not be the right choice.
And notice that Naomi wants things “to be well with Ruth.”
· Young people, this is what you need to look for when deciding to get married…you want things to be “well with you.”
· That is why it is imperative that you choose well…because other wise instead of marriage being a rest for you…it will be a place of turmoil, and unrest, and conflict, and misery.
· And parents, as you prepare your children for marriage you must have this in your eye…make sure that when they marry it will be “well for them.”
· Don’t be afraid to step up and say, “I don’t think you need to marry this guy or this girl.”
So much of the time when we are in the process of finding a mate one of our top priorities is appearance…is he or she good looking…or wealth…do they have money.
· Those things are great but if they do not make things “well for you…and if they do not bring “rest” to your marriage…they are a waste.
· Naomi wanted “security…a settled spot…and she wanted things to be well for Ruth.”
· These are the things that a home should provide.
Now, watch as Naomi explains her plan for Ruth to let Boaz know of her willingness to marry him. Vs. 2:
"And now is not Boaz our kinsman, with whose maids you were? Behold, he winnows barley at the threshing floor tonight.
3 Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor;
· Now we understand this don’t we?
· What you wear sends a message…it says a lot about who you are…and we have all seen or done this.
· A young man finds out that a young lady is coming by to see him and what does he do?
· It is the same for a young lady (checks her hair…her makeup…her teeth…squirts on a little perfume.)
· We do that to make an impression on the other person…to perhaps show them that we are interested in them.
· For Ruth, this was a critical encounter and Naomi wanted her to look her best.
Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.
· Wait until he is content…until he is satisfied and in a good mood…wait until you can have his full attention.
Vs. 4: And it shall be when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies, and you shall go and uncover his feet and lie down; then he will tell you what you shall do." 5 And she said to her, "All that you say I will do."
· What is this “uncover his feet and lie down?’
· Is this something that is not appropriate?
Let’s read vs. 6-10: So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her. 7 When Boaz had eaten and drunk and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain; and she came secretly, and uncovered his feet and lay down. 8 And it happened in the middle of the night that the man was startled and bent forward; and behold, a woman was lying at his feet. 9 And he said, "Who are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth your maid. So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative." 10 Then he said, "May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich.
· Now, this all sounds pretty strange…and maybe a little in appropriate…but when Ruth goes in and uncovers Boaz’ feet and then asks him to cover her with his garment, that was actually a wedding proposal…she is expressing her willingness to marry Boaz.
· What she does is an act of total submission.
· In that day, this was understood to be the role of a servant - to lay at their master’s feet and be ready for any command of the master.
· Ruth had a right that she could claim.
o Boaz was her goel, her kinsman-redeemer, and she had the right to expect him to marry her and raise up a family to perpetuate the name of Elimelech.
o But Naomi wisely counseled Ruth to not come as a victim demanding her rights, but as a humble servant, trusting in the goodness of her kinsman-redeemer.
o She said to Boaz, “I respect you, I trust you, and I put my fate in your hands.”
· And if he does cover her that was an indication that she was now under his protection…it was an indication that he has accepted her as his wife.
Some scholars look at this and say that Ruth and Boaz engaged in something that was not appropriate here.
o Well, if that is the case then that contradicts what Boaz says to Ruth about her character in vs. 11.
o And it would also contradict the character that Boaz himself has displayed up to this time.
And another thing…the Bible is not squeamish when it describes sexual encounters…the Bible is not afraid to talk about sex.
o There is a word for “lie down and have sex” in the Hebrew and the writer doesn’t use that word here.
And, if what Ruth does here is inappropriate, Boaz who has already shown himself as one who is obedient to God (when he allowed gleaners into his fields) could and probably would have rebuked her.
o There is nothing inappropriate here…Ruth is simply acting on her claim as a widow under Levirate Law to extend the lineage of her dead husband Elimelech…
o She is simply letting Boaz know that she is willing to become his wife.
o And Boaz is demonstrating the excellence of his character…in fact, notice what happens next.
Vs. 10: Then he said, "May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich.
o Do you see the options that she has?
o She could have had her pick of any of the young men…even the rich ones.
o But what was there about Boaz that made her propose to him?
Vs. 11: And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence. 12 And now it is true I am a close relative; however, there is a relative closer than I.
· Do you see the kind of character that he has?
· Technically, according to the Levirate Marriage Law…there was someone else who could claim Ruth for his wife…and Boaz respected that.
· But what he really respects here is God…because that is where the Law of Levirate Marriage came from and he is not going to dishonor God.
And there is another mark of his character here.
· He is smitten with Ruth and he cannot believe that Ruth is willing to marry him.
· But he shows personal restraint…and do you know why?
· He is waiting to see if this marriage is the will of God.
· He is not going to rush into this marriage…he is not going to do anything sexually that will make this marriage have to happen.
· If God doesn’t want it to happen…if she is intended for the other close relative…he is going to wait…he is going to obey the law of God…and let God make it happen if it is God’s will.
Now, watch what he does starting in vs. 13: Remain this night, and when morning comes, if he will redeem you, good; let him redeem you. But if he does not wish to redeem you, then I will redeem you, as the LORD lives. Lie down until morning."
14 So she lay at his feet until morning and rose before one could recognize another; and he said, "Let it not be known that the woman came to the threshing floor." 15 Again he said, "Give me the cloak that is on you and hold it." So she held it, and he measured six measures of barley and laid it on her. Then she went into the city.
· Why does he want her to “remain at his feet until morning?”
· This was a very lawless time…Judges 21:25 says “it was a time when everyone did what was right in their own eyes.”
· Read the last 3 chapters of Judges and you will see just how dangerous the times were.
· He asks her to remain until the morning out of concern for her safety!
But then he is also concerned about her reputation.
· In vs. 14 it says that she “rose before one could recognize another and he said, “Let it not be known that the woman came to the threshing floor.”
· He didn’t want to in any way give the appearance of any thing immoral taking place.
And then in vs. 15 he tells her to give him her cloak and he measured out 6 measures of barley and laid in on her.
· Technically, according to Levirate Marriage he doesn’t have to do that.
· But he was willing to…he may not be the one who redeems her…but still he shows his compassion…and this was tangible evidence that the other kinsmen did not redeem her…he would.
Now, do you see the kind of character that Boaz had?
· He was concerned about her safety.
· He was concerned about her reputation.