Do you know why Valentine’s Day is called “Valentine’s Day?” The day is apparently named after a pastor (really, a Catholic priest) from the third century named, you guessed it, Valentine. People treat the story more like a legend, and the details are a little sketchy, but this is how the story goes:
In the third century, the Roman Emperor Claudius II wanted a stronger military. He noticed how many of his military men were home-sick from being away from their families or found creative ways to avoid military service so they could stay home with their families, leaving many of Rome’s strongest men, at the most, far away from the front lines or, at the very least, less than focused on their military duties. To solve this problem, Emperor Claudius issued a decree that outlawed marriage altogether, promising to kill anyone who disobeyed.
Valentine believed the decree was wrong, so he began to marry young couples in secret ceremonies. The Emperor eventually caught on, arrested Valentine and sentenced him to death. While in prison awaiting his fate, young couples he had secretly married would visit him and pass flowers and cards through the iron bars to show their appreciation. Before his execution, Valentine fell in love with the daughter of his jailor. On February 14th, the day he was killed, he passed a note to his love on which was written, “From your Valentine.” A tradition was begun.
It’s a good story, huh? Even if some details are wrong, you can’t argue with the results. The story of Father Valentine’s appreciation for love and his model of undying love as he faces death, today inspires us as a nation to spend, even in recession, $14.7 billion on Valentine’s Day. The average American spent over $100 yesterday. More than 190 million Valentine’s Day cards were sent through the mail this week, and that doesn’t include the cards school children give one another. About 8 billion candy hearts were made just to help us celebrate this one day, inspired by the love of this one man.
What does your love inspire people to do? Well, one out of every 365 days they spend some money on me and treat me to a nice dinner. They bought me a teddy bear. I have some roses at home that have already started to whither. If I make them feel guilty enough, they might even buy me some more before we get to February 14th next year.
I exaggerate a little bit. I don’t want to downplay any heartfelt displays of love from yesterday. But, do you ever see your love inspiring the creation of a multi-billion dollar holiday? Are people going to make movies about your love? At the very least, do people look at you and the relationships you have, whether it’s in marriage, parenting, children, church, work, friends, or dating and think, “Wow, that’s what I should do”?
Jesus, in a 15-second conversation with a leper, helps us this morning see what true, lasting, awe-inspiring, goose bump-creating, compassionate love really is, how you can have it, and what it takes to put it into practice.
(40) A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, “If you are willing, you can make me clean.” (41) Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” (42) Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.
I read about a New York City police officer who was investigating a case. He had discovered a phone number that he hoped would help him solve the case. He dialed. The phone rang once, twice – then a man picked up and said, “You’ve got the wrong number!” Click. He hung up. The officer dialed again. The same man picked up. “I said you got the wrong number.” Click. The officer dialed a third time. The same man picked up. “Is this you again?” he said. “Yea, and I was wondering how you knew I had the wrong number before I even said anything.” “You figure it out,” the man said. Click. The officer sat there for a couple of minutes with the phone just sitting in his hands before he decided to call back a fourth time. “So you figured it out,” the man said when he picked up. The officer replied, “Nobody ever calls you, do they?” “You got it,” the man said. Click.
It’s a pretty lonely feeling to have no one pay attention to you. It’s very much what the lepers of Jesus’ day were used to. Leprosy was a terrible disease in Jesus’ day. It was literally a living death. Your flesh died and decayed at an incredible rate while the person was still alive, leaving that person horribly disfigured. And because leprosy was so contagious, lepers were outlawed from every aspect of social life. They had to relinquish every family tie, abandon every relationship, realize that they would never again feel the touch of a comforting hand, feel safe in the security of friendly hug, or connect eyes with someone who wanted to meet them or be with them.
You’re afraid that you might lose your marriage? Lepers already did. You’re afraid that your friend may not speak with you again. For lepers, it had already happened. You’re afraid that you may have already had and passed through the best part of your relationship with your son, daughter, and friend? If you were a leper, those relationships were already dead.
And they knew that, which is why this leper who approached Jesus felt the need to beg Jesus just for his attention. No one else in this world gave him reason to be optimistic that he would get it. Would you give it to him?
Leprosy is not that big of deal nowadays, but the attitudes toward lepers reveal themselves in every age. In the 1200’s, the same fear was created by the word “Plague.” In the 1700s, it was Small Pox sent people away. Do you remember how scared NBA basketball players were to be on the same court with Magic Johnson when he announced he might have AIDS? It happens in every age, and it happens today.
It happens at McDonald’s when a sad-looking man approaches you looking for money and you turn away thinking, “So many con-men out there nowadays.” It happens to the guys along the road holding the “Will work for food” sign as you think, ‘Boy, someone ought to do something about that; he shouldn’t be able to harass people like that,” and drive away. It happens when our shelves are full of the food that pantries need; when our closets are full of clothes we know other families need; when our schedules are full of video game-time, movie-time, TV-time, fast food-time, shopping-time, nap-time, all of which you know could be free-time to spend with your own children or the person you once called the “love of your life,” or the neighbor who lost his job, the friend who lost her spouse, the child who lost their hope, the family who lost their house.
What was it that James, the brother of Jesus, said about your faith and backing it up with your actions and the decisions you make? He said, “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes or daily food. If you say, “Go, I wish you well; I hope you keep warm and well fed,” but you don’t do anything to fill their belly or give them clothes to wear or a place to rest their head, then the faith you claim to have is dead.
You might say, “Well, I have faith; I’m at church. I have picture of Jesus in my house. I believe there is a God.” “Good,” says James. “You and every demon in this world believe that.” “Don’t just listen to the Word,” he writes. You must “do what it says.”
Who’s the leper here? Lepers had no choice but to lose every relationship they had once they got their disease. But we can choose. Who’s the one going through life not with skin that’s decaying, but with relationships that are dying? With hearts that are cold? With kindness that’s weak? With hands that have no one to hold?
No one held the hand of Elijah Archuleta, not until it was too late. Elijah was two years old. His parents were in the middle of a messy divorce. His mom was living with a new guy, John, who was watching Elijah at the house while mommy was at work one Friday this past November in Denver. John put Elijah in the bathtub while he went outside. Elijah turned on the hot water, which severely burned over ¾ of his fragile 2-year-old body.
John put Elijah into his car seat and put a blanket over his body as they drove to pick up mommy. They got to her work around 1:30. Elijah’s face and hands were already bubbling and deep red. But they didn’t take him to the hospital. They had a few things they had to get done. And maybe she didn’t realize how much damage had been done. Maybe she didn’t notice the over-dilated pupils or the fresh black eye. John had a court hearing to get to. They all went in, sat through, ran a few more errands afterwards and picked up some burn cream on the way home. When they got home, it was about 6:00, and John said he was going to take the car to hang out with some friends at the bar, which he did. While he was gone, mom didn’t call 911, didn’t call a friend to borrow a car. She just hung out with her severely burned 2-year-old boy while his flesh was slowly scabbing his little body until John got home at 11:00, 9 ½ hours after the accident, which is when they finally took Elijah to the hospital, by which time his body was already cold and he was already dead.
Does your heart go out to Elijah? Then you know why Jesus approached the leper and touched this dejected, exiled and contagious man with his hand. His compassionate heart went out to him. He couldn’t help it. This hurting man approached Jesus and did not ask him if he could help, since he already knew the answer to that question. He asked Jesus if he wanted to help, to which Jesus replied, “I am willing.”
Are you afraid that, when you ask Jesus to help you, he will not say the same thing? After all, he sees how compassionate you’re not, every dirty thought, every lazy act, every stretch of sin, every lie from within, every one of which is a burden not only on you and the people you hurt, but on the heart of your Creator against whom you’ve sinned.
And Jesus chose not to remove those burdens until he got far enough away from you that he could fully and finally separate them from you, until he got to a rugged cross, on a high hill, on a dark day, when he took all your sins away and buried them in his grave. And when he came out, his heart searched you out so that he could look you in the eye and say, “Peace be with you, my friend, your sins are forgiven. As far as the east is from the west, as far as heaven is from hell, I have separated them from you.”
Mark writes that Jesus was “filled with compassion.” Multiple times, the bible says that our Savior is filled with compassion, full of compassion, and no matter how many times he pours it out on a leper, fisherman, tax man, or sinner, he never runs out.
Do you need a friend to help with your loneliness and pain? Jesus says, “I am willing.” Do you need someone to give you strength to fight an addiction again? “I am willing.” Are you in need of someone who will be the vine in your life, who will give you strength when you struggle with stress, who will be your rock through the storms of distress, whose calm, gentle voice you will hear when your life is a mess; who will answer your prayers, who send angels to help, who will tell you time and again you have no reason to doubt? “I am willing,” Jesus says.
That is love. And it wasn’t a gushy feeling we created in Jesus’ gut that compelled him to do this. It was a decision he made long before you ever knew him. It was him recognizing that he was in a position to help his friends and deciding to do something about it. That is love. True love doesn’t originate in your feelings or gut. It takes place in your mind with the decisions you make. And you don’t have to put yourself on a cross to show it. Very few, if any, of us will ever have that opportunity. But every day we all have opportunities to give up things we value to make someone else feel valuable.
You all have things you value: free time, talents, money, hobbies, possessions. Compassionate love uses them all. Love means looking at the child who earlier in the day cussed you out and swore at you and realizing that this is the child who needs to be loved by you. Love means swallowing your pride and putting aside what you believe people owe you so that you can treat them as if the one with the debt is you. Love means turning off the game when it’s been all day since your wife has seen you. Love means not treating past mistakes like present problems when someone disappoints you. Love means drinking less and praying more. It means shopping less and budgeting more. It means pampering yourself, the house, and your kids less and giving away more. Love never needs to motivate. Love is the motivator.
You are born knowing how to love yourself. You are born again when you let Jesus teach you what it means to compassionately love someone else.