Developing Godly Relationships
Colossians 3:12-4:1
INTRODUCTION
Life is really all about relationships. God did not create us to live in isolation. Instead, He created us to live in a dynamic relationship with Him and with others. Relationships are at the very heart of the Gospel.
The kind of relationships we will explore here are interpersonal relationships. We can have a relationship with our environment or our pet, but these are of a different kind than we want to explore here.
Not all relationships are equal. Some relationships carry more weight than others. Our relationship with God is the most important relationship in our life. This is followed by our relationship with our family. Beyond this comes friends, community, work, and so on. Each relationship fits into a God ordained hierarchy.
Every relationship makes demands on us. Both parties in the relationship bring with them a certain set of expectations. For relationships to grow and flourish both parties must be aware of the expectations of the other party.
Every relationship comes at a cost. In order to enter into a healthy relationship, a person must be willing to give up some things to gain others. When a man and a woman get married, they both give up the right to pursue other romantic relationships. When a person enters into an employment relationship, they give up a huge chunk of their time in order to receive a pay check.
Godly relationships are based on seeking the best for the other person. It is as we fully give ourselves away to the other party that we actually gain what we need and want from the relationship.
Study 1: Colossians 3:12-14
In order to develop godly relationships, we need to build them on a solid foundation. A major building block of that foundation is our character. If we want to have healthy relationships, then we must work on developing a healthy character.
1. On what basis does Paul call for a person’s character development? Why is this important?
2. What does the image of “clothe yourselves” suggest?
3. Paul lists five character qualities that need to be put on.
a. What are these qualities?
b. How would you define each of them?
4. A person’s character will affect their relationships.
a. What does Paul say should be the outworking of a changed character?
b. Why is this so important in building relationships?
5. What is the cement that we need to hold our relationships together?
MAKE IT PERSONAL
1.How would you describe you current relationship with God?
2. How can knowing that we are chosen and dearly loved be a motivator in developing our other relationships?
3.In what ways are the five character qualities listed in verse 12 opposite to how our world normally works?
4. What does it mean for you to bear someone else’s burden? How do you feel about that?
5. Forgiveness is at the heart of our relationship with God in Christ. Why is forgiveness essential to our other relationships?
6. Look at 1 John 4:7-12. How does this passage give us a deeper understanding of what it means to “put on love?”
Study 2: Colossians 3:15-17
In this next section, Paul focuses on our relationship with Christ. He makes it very practical.
1. Paul says to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.
a. What is the peace of Christ?
b. What does it mean to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts?
c. How does this affect our other relationships?
2. Paul says to let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.
a. What is the word of Christ?
b. What does it mean for the word to dwell in you?
c. How does this affect our other relationships?
3. Paul wraps this section up with a call to do everything for God’s glory.
a. Why does Paul include both word and deed?
b. What does it mean to do these things “in the name of Jesus”?
4. What is to be the accompanying response from us in each of the above interactions? Why is this important?
MAKE IT PERSONAL
1.In the Bible, peace refers to a sense of wholeness and well-being that comes from God. How can this kind of peace enhance your relationships?
2. Why is allowing the peace of Christ to rule in your heart essential to the body of Christ? (Ephesians 4:3-6)
3. What is the difference between being familiar with the Bible and allowing the truths of the Bible to dwell in you?
4. How can worship enhance both our relationship with God and with one another?
5. How can seeing even the mundane, routine activities of life as potential acts of worship change the way you live?
6.Why is thankfulness an important component to every relationship?
Study 3: Colossians 3:18-21
In this section, Paul gets specific about family relations. The parallel to this passage is found in Ephesians 5:21-6:9.
1. Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands.
a. Upon what grounds does he base this?
b. What is implied by the word submit?
2. Paul tells husbands to love their wives.
a. How was this a radical statement in Paul’s day?
b. What is involved with a husband loving his wife? Refer to Ephesians 5:25-33.
3.Paul tells children to obey their parents.
a. Why should they do this?
b. What does it mean for children to obey?
4. Paul tells fathers not to embitter their children.
a. Why does Paul address only fathers here?
b. What is hinted at about the normal way fathers treated their children?
c. What outcome are fathers to avoid and why is this important?
MAKE IT PERSONAL
1.How do you understand the word submit?
2. In what ways can submission be both positive and beneficial?
3. In Ephesians 5:21, Paul stresses that submission is mutual. In what ways can mutual submission enhance a relationship?
4. In Ephesians 5:22-24, Paul gives an expanded reason for why wives should submit to their husbands.
a. What are the reasons that he gives?
b. How does this change the dynamics of a marriage relationship?
5. In Ephesians 5:25-33, Paul expands what it means for husbands to love their wives.
a. What criteria does Paul give for this?
b. How does this information change the dynamics of the marriage relationship?
6. Ephesians 6:1-4 expands our understanding of the parent child relationship.
a. On what basis are children instructed to obey their parents?
b. What role are parents to play in the lives of their children?
Study 4:Colossians 3:22-4:1
In this last section, Paul addresses the relationship between slaves and masters. In our culture today, this would the equivalent of employees and employers.
1. Paul instructs slaves to obey their earthly masters in everything.
a. When are they to obey?
b. What attitude are they to have as they obey?
c. What attitude are they to avoid?
d. How were they to conduct their work?
e. What was the motivation for doing this?
f. What warning does Paul give to slaves about being rebellious?
2. Paul instructs masters to treat their slaves fairly.
a. How were they to care for their slaves?
b. What was their motivation for doing this.
c. How could this approach benefit both the slave and the master?
MAKE IT PERSONAL
1. If you are an employee, what is your attitude toward your employer?
2. If you are an employer or a manager, what is your attitude toward your employees?
3. Why should a Christian worker give their best at their place of work?
4. Why should a Christian boss treat his/her employees with respect and fairness?
5. How could adopting the attitudes Paul outlines change the atmosphere at your workplace?
6. In what ways can the way we go about our daily work be an act of worship toward God?
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