Da Loopy Da Loop LOB
Now, is the Winter ofDiscontent for many a squash player...? A time when temperatures plummet, icy rain and wind freeze the summery squash court walls. The courts become cold, cavernous tombs. Warm ups become a mission of generating heat and pace into frozen rubber balls and goose-fleshed bodies. But for a minority of players, paradise has arrived. This is a small group of Squash Players who are often harassed and harangued, pelted with rotten tomatoed slurs, demeaned, rejected and trod on, for playing a game of squash which is above “the average Squash Player’s academic fireplace” “Old Man Sh*t” , they call it. “No rallies”, “Not enough running”, “Ball never gets warm” they groan.
We smile because, invariably, we know, they are envious. We have something that they do not have. We can. They can’t…. Well, they can, but they need to practise more. And we know, we have put in the hours. They still have to.
I speak, Ladies and Gentleman, today, of The Lob. A slow, lifted shot that Loops in a parabola fashion (for the non-mathematicians – an inverted/up-side down U). Coaches will call on their protégés to “rape the angels”, to stroke the cat – a gentle movement, gliding from the cat’s head, down to the tail, and then a high follow through. The Lob is not hit. It is lifted. It has feel. It has touch. It requires soft hands – similar to that of a golfer’s putt. It has No Pace. When that ball reaches its maximum height, it drops with gravity. It is a dead weight of cooling rubber. The opponent now has to generate the power, and the pace. The Opponent, generally is in a rush. He wants, to run, and hit and bash and smash. And so he does. He rushes, and the return is tinned, or loose, leaving him pinned in the corner, with Loopy, the Lobber, racquet ready, and ready to play another squiggly, squoggly no-paced shot.
Frustration levels rise. Anger boils. But the point is lost.
Now, Loopy finds even more joy in adopting his lob into his service. And gently floats another looping “love letter” to his “lover” in the back-corner, who will probably play another frustrating, one-night-stand smash-it-into-the tin return.
The lob is not a fashionable shot. It goes against the grain of the Wham-Bam-Thank-you-Mam masochistic psyche of Squash Players. That beautiful animalistic instinct of smacking that little piece of rubber as hard as you can. That run-hard, hit-harder, sweat-more desire that releases all tensions, frees smoldering frustrations, and unshackles heaps of happy endorphins... And the slow lob-drop game is in total contrast to this.
It is intellectual. It is scheming. Thought-provoking, mystically mysterious … and, when played well, so rewarding. So rewarding to hold your shot, feel your advancing fleet-footed opponent approaching, and then to lift the ball high into the heavens, and turn and watch , as tackies screech to a halt, neck bends, goose-like, eyes bulge, chameleon-like in forlorn hope of recovery. The beauty of turning defence into attack with a high lilting lob, the patient fisherman-like reeling-in of your hard-hitting, fast-running opponent as he slowly gets hooked into trying to counter your game….Aaaah….The Joys. Either, they start trying to play a style of game which is unfamiliar, and un-natural to them, or they will start trying to hit harder, and harder. But their timing is out, and they spiral into a hacking, loose malaise…to Loopy, the Lobber’s absolute delight.
And here now, Loopy starts adding some more slow poison to the frustration. As the opponent’s game becomes looser, flicky reverse angles, sneaky trickle angles, biting cross-court volley nicks, floaty little boasts, floppy serves that just make the service box, delayed cross-court drops are all introduced…Aaah, even more joy in watching as The Runner gets rolled into an angered ball. They want to run, but there is not much running to do. They want long rallies butthe rallies are short, and jagged. They want the heart rate to rise. It does, but only in frustration. They seek the sweat, but it freezes on the brow before it can puddle.
So what can these frustrated many do to counter these loopy individuals’ style of play? “Don’t play them” many will say. But somehow the league/challenge/tournament magnet sucks you into that dreaded encounter. The secret is Patience. Do not try and hit yourself out of the problem. Play safe, and get Loopy behind you. Find your length. Let “Wait” be your code-word. Wait for the ball. It is coming slowly. Generally-speaking, Loopy’s do not like pace. But you need to generate pace from positions from which you are balanced. It is also difficult to play the Loopy game when stuck in the back corners. So send them, like little Jack Horners, into those corners, to play with their plums. The long-term alternative is to learn how to play the thinking, Loopy game yourself. Be warned. It takes time. But, if you add this to an artillery of power, and pace you will have the full house. Now, you will have variable game plans to counter, virtually anyone. And you will be able to enjoy a new spiders-web, almost bullying delight.
You will also find out that those Loopy Lobbers, like Loopy-de-Loop, who was a little crazy and eccentric Good Samaritan wolf, are really good people to be around! And when age starts catching you up, that Loopy game is an absolute God-send, and you can still compete and fight smart. You will have become a well-rounded individual. A Man for All Seasons. Winters will no longer be a time of Discontent.