Culture Compass Take-Away Tips: Starting Conversations and Making Friends

  • Starting Conversations
  • British people can be put off if conversation starters are too direct (it is a big challenge to the “privacy” taboo, a main component of British ‘reserve’). You can try some ‘indirect’ ways of starting conversations, such as (preferable versions in bold):
  • Instead of - “Shall we go for a coffee?”
  • Try - Are you doing anything after the lecture? Perhaps we could go for a coffee?
  • Instead of - “Would you like to come out to dinner with me?”
  • Try - “I was wondering if you liked Chinese food*? Perhaps we could go to a restaurant together?” [*replace with your own national food]
  • Instead of - “I’d be interested in finding out what pubs are like. Would you mind taking me to one?”
  • Try - “Do you and your friends go to pubs much? I wonder if I could join you sometime, I’ve never been to one but I know they’re very British!”
  • Instead of - “Could we go shopping together?”
  • Try - “I was wondering, do most people go shopping in town or at Meadowhall? Perhaps we could go shopping together some time?”
  • Instead of - Do you share my interest in football?
  • Try - “I was wondering if you liked football? Perhaps we could go and watch a game in Bar One some evening?”
  • Where to meet? What to do? (campus options in bold)
  • Coffee - Coffee Revolution; coffee shops around campus such as “Upshot espresso” (Glossop Road), Tampa (Westfield Terrace)
  • Drink and bar snack - Interval Cafe; Devonshire Cat; Red Deer (Pitt Street)
  • Food - resturant serving your own national cuisine; cake shops; informal ‘chain’ restaurants e.g. Nando’s, Taco Bell
  • Cinema - independent theatres such as The Showroom, Curzon; chain theatres such as Cineworld at Valley Centertainment
  • What to Talk About
  • TV - find out what British people are watching, and talking about. Try and watch some of the popular shows yourself. You will be able to find a lot of material on Youtube. Take a look at the TV schedules for what’s showing, especially on BBC1, 2 and Channel 4.
  • Popular entertainment shows, e.g. X-Factor, The Voice
  • Comedy/satirical shows, e.g. Would I Lie to You?, Mock the Week, Have I Got News for You?
  • Panel Shows, e.g. QI; 8 out of 10 Cats
  • Music - look in Forge Press for suggestions of what people are listening to and what gigs they’re going to. In general, read Forge Press for insight into the kind of English used by students, what concerns them, and what they are interested in
  • Sport - football is the most popular! But there are many others. Again, keep an eye on Forge Press for suggestions of what’s popular
  • What are British Students Thinking?
  • They have generally not made such a big life decision as studying in another country and can have a more limited world view as a result
  • Their reasons for pursuing higher education are not usually as ‘driven’ or defined as international students. More of a ‘passive’ than an ‘active’ choice
  • Attendance at university among UK population more of a “right of passage”, a “natural progression” than gaining qualification to support a career path; about meeting people, “time out” before joining the full adult world
  • A significant emphasis on social life
  • Studying and getting a good degree is important, but ‘having a good time at uni’ is (almost) equally as important
  • Remember that British people are trying to find ways to ‘fit in’ too!
  • TopTip for Breaking Through the Culture Barrier
  • Look for situations in which you can meet British students (and British people) in the context of shared interest. This way you have things to talk about in the ‘opening phase’ and this can lead to a closer connection / friendship over time
  • Join a Students’ Union Society in an area you are interested in
  • Search online for clubs and societies in the Sheffield area. Almost all British people have “hobbies” and love getting together in groups to share their interest.
  • The weekly “Sheffield Telegraph” newspaper (comes out on Fridays) has listings for events coming up in the week which includes meetings of clubs, societies and other interest groups.