Counseling Frame - 1
COUNSELING FRAME OF REFERENCE
My Counseling Frame of Reference
Daniel W. Murphy
James Madison University
My Counseling Frame of Reference
Two years ago, when I first entered the College Student Personnel Administration program at James Madison University, I was not even sure if I had made the right decision. I was so new to whole world of Student Affairs that I wasn ot prepared for the huge decision that I had made months earlier. Did I want to be in a counseling based program? Or was the administrative based program more of what I was looking for? At the time I did not know the answer. As I prepare to leave the program, I find comfort in knowing that I made the right decision.
My experience with both the counseling classes and working with students has proven to me that counseling is necessary to be effective as a professional in Student Affairs. The four counseling courses that are required in the program only skimmed the surface of the counseling profession, but have had profound impacts on how I work with students and interact with people on an everyday basis. My commitment to the counseling program is a result of my own psychological journey over the past couple of years and my personal frame of reference is a combination of ideas from people that I have interacted with and the different professional theories of counseling. This essay is an attempt to illustrate my personal frame of reference as well as provide insight into some of the specific courses that have impacted my experience.
Frame of Reference
There are many factors that contribute to an individual’s frame of reference. Some of these include a filter through which people view their environment, how they interact with other people, and how they behave in their world. (Taken from CSPA Comprehensive Exam Question #3) My experience has taught me that the answer is the same for all of these – people are people. Each person is a unique individual with a history, a story, and a set of experiences that have converged to create the life in which they live. At the heart of my approach to counseling is letting people tell their stories.
Dr. William Hall taught us a lot of information in Counseling Theories, but the one idea that I walked away with was that to understand a counseling theory it was necessary to understand the theorists life experiences. I have adopted this as my approach to counseling. Regardless of my personal experience with a situation, it will never be the same experience for someone else. By inviting others to share, it is possible to truly understand a situation, to comfort the person in the most appropriate way, and to affirm and celebrate their life experiences. This idea is very broad and can be difficult to achieve, so I will explore the different aspects that have contributed to this philosophy.
I believe that self-disclosure is an essential element of creating relationships and being psychologically healthy. Carl Rogers discussed self-disclosure at length in his theory. He was a person-centered therapist that felt a client would feel more comfortable sharing their story if the counselor is also willing to participate in the disclosure process. (Prochaska & Norcross, 2003) I have a lot of experiences in my life that contribute to how I interact with people and the beliefs that I have. To fully understand me, it requires me to share parts of myself with others. A successful relationship requires a commitment from both people involved. Commitment is grounded in trust and I feel the best way to establish trust is through disclosing.
My experience working with people that may be coming out of the closet is that they are looking for someone that can relate to them and that they can trust with that information. In the early stages of the coming out process, it can be hard enough to admit that to yourself, let alone another person. I can help the person feel more comfortable by disclosing aspects of my struggle with my sexual identity. It helps create a safe place, full of trust and understanding, that is conducive to self-disclosure. The same idea applies to other areas of identity and development. People are usually scared that they are the only one that has this problem and that they are alone. I like to make myself vulnerable in order for others to be more comfortable around me so that they no longer feel like they are alone.
I also spent twelve years as a musician before coming to graduate school. I have been playing the clarinet since I was in the sixth grade. Towards the end of college, I took a break from music to explore some other interests and stopped performing for a while. A year after I had stopped, I took my clarinet out again and began to play. To my surprise, I was not that bad. My body knew exactly what to do. All of those years of practicing had made playing the clarinet a habit. Through that experience, and based on my reactions to emotional distress over time, I was able to conclude that humans are creatures of habit.
Behavior theory is one of the basic foundational theories of an education in psychology. Any student that has taken Psychology 100 can recite the story of how Pavlov was able to condition a dog to react in a specific way. For twelve years I practiced my own form of behavioral therapy in a music practice room. It is no surprise to me that it also worked its way into my frame of reference for counseling. The purpose of practicing the clarinet is so that a person can condition her or his mind and body to respond to the stimuli on the page.
This same principle can be expanded to include other forms of the art, athleticism, and research in the academy. O’Leary and Wilson also attest that it can include everyday behavior. They believed that most abnormal behavior is learned and maintained according to the same principles that people learn normal behavior. (Prochaska & Norcross, 2003) The repetition of behaviors, whether physical or psychological, can create habits. These habits are so ingrained in a person’s repertoire that when a stimulus presents itself, the individual does not know any other way to respond.
To change behavior, there must be a level of commitment by the individual. There must also be an intentional plan of action to bring about change. My struggle with my body image and being obese is a good example of changed habits. I felt as though I had no control over my eating habits. Whenever I saw food, I just had to eat it. I also did not enjoy physical activity that much. In the past year I have lost 40 pounds. This did not just happen because of luck. I set goals for myself, was very intentional about how I would lose the weight, and I held myself accountable for daily exercise and portioned meals. I would always reward myself for a successful week. Unlike before the lifestyle change, my reward was no longer food. An individual must have the motivation and desire to change in order for change to take place.
The final major construct of my personal frame of reference in counseling is based in the ideas of Brief Therapy. In Student Affairs it can be difficult to have more than one opportunity to interact with a student, staff member or parent. It is important that the time with them is spent well. Brief Therapy was designed to be short in duration. It was created around the concept of having one session with a client. There are many parts of this theory that resonate with me as a helping professional and many of those will be discussed in the section of this paper on Counseling Techniques.
As a graduate assistant in the Office of Orientation I have been able to learn a lot about the impact that student staff members can have on the programming within the office. The events that we host have such a large scope that is impossible for the professional staff to be everywhere that they need to be. The student staff is given a lot of responsibility and decision making power in the absence of professional staff members. This works for the office because we empower our student leaders. We trust them to make decisions in the best interest of the office. This is the same practice that is used in Brief Therapy. “Given the opportunity, [individuals] can resolve their own concerns. [The counselor’s] job is to help them believe in themselves.” (Presbury, Echterling & McKee, 2002)
Participating in the Counseling Psychology curriculum has taught me more than I ever expected about being a counselor. I have learned some theories that I love and others that I would never use. There is no one theory that is able to capture my personal feelings about the counseling relationship. However, I have been able to take pieces of one theory and mix that with pieces from others to create my own personal frame of reference. Ultimately, I believe the people have a story to share and it is my responsibility to listen to his or her story and affirm their life experiences. The way to do this is through honest and authentic self-disclosure in the security of the committed relationship. In order for a person to change their current situation, it requires dedication and commitment to changing the habits and destructive behaviors that the person has been practicing. Finally, regardless of the concern, each person has the power to come up with his or her own solution; they just need support and encouragement along that path.
The following sections explore key concepts that I have learned in the counseling courses required of the College Student Personnel Administration program. In each of these sections, I provide more insight into my previous experiences that have affected my personal frame of reference.
Counseling Techniques
The Counseling Techniques course provided has prepared me better to work in the field of Student Affairs than any other course in the program. The concepts taught in the course were designed to be the building blocks of the counseling curriculum. The class not only provided me with an introduction to counseling as a profession, but gave me tools that I could use in my every day interactions to positively impact the lives of others around me.
In the class, we spent a lot of time concentrating on the early stages of the counseling relationship. When we are beginning that relationship, or interacting with someone for the first time, it is important to create rapport with the individual. It is not always apparent as to why the person has sought out help, or even how deeply rooted the concern may be. To make the person feel comfortable, it is important to create trust between the members of the counseling dyad.
Developed out of the teachings of Carl Rogers, the LUV Triangle provides a set of behaviors to implore in establishing a counseling relationship. The three components of the LUV Triangle are Listening, Understanding, and Validating. By practicing these three habits, the client will feel more comfortable with the counselor and begin to trust the relationship and the process.
Listening is a skill that is taken for granted by a lot of people. In many instances, a person is just looking for someone that they can tell their story to. If a counselor listens to the client, the client will feel as though the counselor is engaged in the concern and committed to the relationship. Listening is not just about hearing what the person is saying. The concept of listening means that the counselor is fully engaged, participating in active listening. Active listening allows for non-verbal utterances that show that you are in fact “being with” the client.
“Being with” requires that the counselor clear her or his mind and be fully attentive to the client. It can be difficult with the stresses in the workplace or after a busy day, but the be with the client allows the counselor to also forget what is going on in his or her life and focus on the client’s concern. It also gives the client the opportunity to control the direction of the session. While interact with the counselor may be necessary to keep a client on task, Dr. Ed McKee believes that each client already knows the answer to their concern, they just need an opportunity to talk themselves to the solution. (Presbury, Echterling & McKee, 2002)
Another part of active listening involves understanding what the client is sharing. It is important that the client feel that the counselor truly understands the presenting concern. Whether the counselor really understands – is another issue entirely. In most instances, the counselor may have no experience with the given situation. This is when it is important for the counselor to assess the emotions that the client is sharing. Once the counselor can understand the related emotion, the counselor can relate to the client’s feelings. Now that the counselor understands the client, it is important to communicate that understanding.
Communicating understanding can take many forms. One way to express understanding is through the use of non-verbal expressions. This includes the use of facial expressions, the way a counselor uses the eyes, and through open body language. Verbally, understanding can be expressed through the use of metaphors. Metaphors are “fuzzy thinking and are literally false…but [they] can express emotive meaning.” (Presbury, Echterling & McKee, 2002)
A metaphor has the ability to truly express the emotions and feeling that a client is expressing. It is a tool that counselors can use to test their understanding of the situation. If the metaphor that the counselor constructs is accurate, the feeling of understanding is felt by the client and can aid in the development of the relationship. It can also serve as an invitation to share more. In another respect, the client may feel more comfortable to continue working on their concern through the use of metaphors.
Another way that metaphors help with checking the counselor’s understanding is when the counselor does not actually understand the situation. By presenting the situation as a metaphor, it gives the client an opportunity to tell the counselor if the understanding is accurate. Exploring understanding can also take the form of reframing questions. Dr. McKee referred to the concept, as “I’m not from around here.” Clients will often tell their story as if the counselor has all of the background information. It is okay for the counselor to ask follow up questions to get more of that information, as long as it is not fact checking. Details are not as important as the emotions.
The final idea in the LUV Triangle is validating the client’s view of the situation. It is important not to agree or disagree with the client’s situation but to focus on the client’s perception of the concern. All that the client may be seeking is the affirmation that it is okay for them to feel what they are experiencing. It is also a crucial step before beginning an intervention with a client. If the client feels as though the counselor has an agenda from the beginning, s/he will be less inclined to trust the counselor. The most effective part of the LUV Triangle is that it gives the client the opportunity to share their story and participate in setting the terms of the counseling relationship.
Of all of the concepts that we discussed in Counseling Techniques, the behaviors in the LUV Triangle have proven to be the most useful in working with students. In both of my practical experiences at James Madison University, my ability to engage students in conversation was critical to my success. As a Hall Director, I was responsible for behavioral meetings and was expected to be available to talk with students about their concerns.
It is easy as a Hall Director to dismiss a students behavior as “typical” of the freshman year or that the student is just a “bad kid.” By incorporating the LUV philosophy into my behavioral meetings I was able to create deeper, more meaningful, relationships with my residents. I saw a significant difference between my behavioral meetings during the first semester and those that occurred while I was in the Counseling Techniques course. When I asked a student how the year was going, or what motivated them to violate a policy, I started actually listening to what the student was saying. I paid special attention so that I could recognize any signs of a deeper concern.
It is also quite simple to get caught in the trap of assuming that a student is guilty before even listening to their side of a situation. After this course, I took the time to understand the problem as the student experienced it and validate their side of the situation. Granted, doing behavioral meetings was not always the best scenario to utilize all of the habits in the LUV Triangle, but working with a roommate conflict was. I found these skills to be especially useful when working with the accused roommate.
The roommate would always enter my apartment with the assumption that the hall staff was on the other roommate’s side. They would always be very surprised when I would take the time to listen to their experience in the room. The conversation was always more productive in situations after my time in the course. I also had a higher success rate with conflict mediation utilizing the key concepts from Counseling Techniques.