College Essay Peer Editing

1.How does the opening hook the reader?

2.Identify the focus/main idea of the essay that is evident by the end of the first paragraph.

3.How does the introduction set a compelling and/or interesting tone and establish the voice of the speaker?

4.Are there smooth transitions/clever links between the ideas mentioned? Between sentences? Identify 2-3.

5. Is there a smooth shift from the narrative/opening idea and the “leap” into the following paragraphs? Identify. Think about the ESPN video on Ricochet.

Sometimes, the size of her spirit, her boundless energy, or her love of the water could overwhelm her training. It was difficult for her to find the right balance as a companion. But balance would prove to be her special gift. She excelled on a board in the water. If she could not fulfil her mission in a traditional sense, she was about to find another way to serve.

6. How does the writer’s personality come through? What does the speaker care about? How do we get a sense of “who he or she is”?

7. Are the subject and the presentation of the ideas in the essay interesting/fresh/original? What makes them so?

8. Is it organized? Is there a clear follow through on the central idea?

9. Are the details and examples specific—do they truly allow you to see, hear, smell, touch, taste (picture) the subject? List 3 examples of imagery.

a.

b.

c.

10. Does the conclusion of the essay give you a sigh of appreciation, a sense of closer or completion, an “ah-ha” feeling?

For the dog that had too much spirit, there was another way to serve and a new place to help. The proof is in the joy and spray, the laughter, Her spirit is in the surf, and the wave rolls on.

Choice of “wave rolls on” is great. The wave of the ocean as well as the wave of her impact on the people around her.

11. What errors exist—grammatically and/or stylistically—do the syntax and diction enhance the topic? Are the sentences varied?

12. What are the strengths of this essay?

13. What needs the most improvement? What recommendations would you give to the writer before his/her next revision?

Name: ______

AP Literature and Composition

College Essay Final Draft Self-Assessment

AbsolutelySomewhat Not at All

  1. My opening hooks the reader.______
  1. By the end of the introduction, the reader

knows the focus/main idea of my essay.______

  1. My introduction sets a compelling and/or

interesting tone and clearly establishes______

my voice as a speaker.

  1. I have smooth transitions/clever links

between the ideas I mention and between______

sentences.

  1. There is a smooth shift from the narrative/______

opening idea and the “leap.”

  1. My personality comes through. The reader can

tell what I care about. The reader gets a sense of ______

who I am and can visualize me.

  1. My subject and presentation of the ideas in my______

essay are interesting/fresh/original.

  1. My essay is organized and has a clear follow-

through on the central idea.______

  1. The details and examples are specific; they truly

allow my reader to see, hear, smell, touch, taste ______

(picture) the subject.

  1. The conclusion of my essay gives the reader

a sigh of appreciation, a sense of closure or ______

completion, an “ah-ha” feeling.

  1. My essay is strong grammatically and stylistically.

My sentences are varied and syntax enhances the______

essay.

12. This essay represents my best, most polished work.______

(OVER)

Comments about your essay and your process/progress on it:

What still needs work, if anything?

Is this essay ready to send and/or have you sent it out yet? (Elaborate).

What grade would you give this essay as it stands now? ______

1