Comparison-Contrast Revisions
Thesis Statement: Your thesis statements must be assertions, indicating the specific significant difference between the two items. Be sure not to state merely that one “is better than” or “superior to” the other; rather, define a specific, significant difference, one that all of your details support. So, for example, “A is funnier than B because...” or “A is both simpler and more economical than B because...”
For example: Although Batman and Superman are both internationally famous superheroes, Batman is a human being and therefore a far better superhero than Superman; Bruce Wayne's intelligence, his self-developed skills, and his much cooler toys make him more believable and realistic than the alien, Superman.
Topic sentence 1: An assertion about how one criterion, your first major division, distinguishes the two.
For example: First, while Superman is undoubtedly stronger than Batman, due to his extraterrestrial origin, Bruce Wayne is far more intelligent than his Metropolis-based competitor.
Note: Alternatively, your first body paragraph may sum up the similarities between the two, if necessary, followed by additional paragraphs enumerating differences.
For example: Obviously, both Superman and Batman are costumed superheroes fighting crime and confronting a variety of enemies in their respective cities, Metropolis and Gotham City, while maintaining secret identities as “normal” humans.
Topic sentence 2: How another criterion, your second major division, differentiates the two subjects.
For example: In addition, since Superman came from Krypton, his powers are merely a seemingly magical result of his extraterrestrial origin, whereas Bruce Wayne has developed his own strength, agility, and crime-fighting abilities through constant training and practice.
Topic sentence 3: An assertion about the third difference, your third major division.
For example: Most significantly, of course, Superman is completely dependent on the powers he receives from Earth's yellow sun, and is totally helpless when confronted with Kryptonite, whereas Bruce Wayne as Batman has an almost unlimited supply of wonderful weapons, devices, and means of transportation he has developed.
and so on.
Delete the above instructions, and complete and print the form below, to submit with your revisions.
Remember that revisions must be substantially revised, not merely “corrected” versions of the original essay and must be submitted with the original graded essay and/or draft(s) attached as well as one full typed page detailing the changes made, in the following pattern:
· Paragraph 1: Changes in content. What was added, deleted, or modified.
· Paragraph 2: Changes in organization. What sentences, ideas, or paragraphs were moved, how things were rearranged,and why.
· Paragraph 3: Cosmetic level changes. What specific editing for grammar was performed, or what corrections made in punctuation, mechanics, and diction.
Evidence of substantial revision may result in a better grade for the assignment.
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name]
ENG 101-umber]
Brian T. Murphy
March 22, 2017
Your thesis: ement]
Include both subjects (Topic), the major distinction between the two (Focus), and the three to four supporting details (Major Divisions).
Your first topic sentence: tence]
How does the first detail from your thesis make A in some specific way distinct from or superior to B? (Is it funnier than, more believable than, less child-friendly than…?)
Your second topic sentence: tence]
How does the second detail from your thesis make A funnier than, more believable than, or less child-friendly (and so on) than B?
Your third topic sentence: tence]
Topic sentence 4: An assertion about a fourth difference between the two, your fourth major division. if necessary.
Your fourth topic sentence: tence]
Note: This form must be completed, typed, and submitted attached to your revisions. In addition, your revised essay must use the thesis and topic sentences developed here. Failure to follow directions will result in the submitted revision being returned unread.
Last Revised Sunday, 12 March 2017