I have been an alcoholic and drug addict for the best part of 20 years. I jokingly say that I missed the last decade of last century, and the first decade of this one, although this is for the most part actually the sad truth.
This Christmas will be my fourth Christmas that I will be sober.
I certainly know the depression, anxiety and other mental health issues that come along with a lifestyle of substance abuse, and I can say that while these symptoms have lessened to some degree in sobriety, I still have both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ days. In other words, I am human.
While I have managed to achieve recovery, maintaining recovery is a daily journey that requires persistence and diligence. But I find that the longer I am in recovery, the greater the desire to maintain my recovery is.
I am writing my message this Christmas as a message of hope. I believe we see things most clearly in hindsight, and as I look back on things coming into my fourth year of sobriety, I have the opportunity to reflect on the positive things that have happened to me.
I think the most prevailing change that I see is in my ability to be open-minded and self-honest. I have learned to be patient with both myself and others, and to practice acceptance of other people and situations. This has all helped me to live a happier, healthier lifestyle, where I can emotionally and mentally grow. It also helps in my relationships with others.
In years gone by, Christmas Day was usually one that I wouldn’t remember. Now I look forward to have lunch with my family, and seeing my 18 year old daughter. The things that never used to matter to me I now look forward to.
The message here is that when I started on my journey of recovery, I put my hand up to ask for help from anyone who would give it. I quickly found that I essentially needed to help myself, but when people saw me making an effort, they were more than willing to assist me in any way they could.
Make no mistake, the journey of achieving and maintaining recovery is a tough one, but with determination and the right supports, it is possible.
Christmas in particular can become a particularly trying time as the idea of ‘celebration’ and ‘alcohol’ are inextricably linked within our culture here in Australia. This is where I need to be especially mindful of any situations that may trigger older behaviours.
After 3 years, I can say this – I still have many faults, I still make many mistakes, I still worry, I still get depressed, anxious, and angry and upset. But I also laugh, I am also happy and I also have many achievements.
And the difference is, after 3 years, I am now aware of all these things.
I would like to say a Merry Christmas to you all. While my recovery will always be an ongoing journey, after the last 3 years, I can honestly say these 3 words – THERE IS HOPE.