Caring for Yourself

Caring For Yourself

Looking after someone else is almost always hard work. You may find it a financial drain, physically or mentally exhausting, or all three. Coming to terms with your new role may take time and constant readjustment.

However, you mustn’t feel guilty about needing and asking for help. You will not be the only one who feels that the role is taking its toll on your own health – it is a comment made frequently by Carers. Check the support you can get such as day care, short term respite care in residential or nursing home facilities, respite services offered by voluntary organisations or, for parent Carers, links with families offering respite care, which could allow you a break in order to recharge your batteries.

It is important that your GP and other members of the surgery staff are aware that you are a Carer. Tell them that you are a Carer, and ask them to make a note of this on your medical records or use the NEWCIS Carers Registration Form.

Coping with Your Feelings

Carers often feel guilty about not being able to make everything right, or because they feel they have let someone down in the process of managing a number of responsibilities. It is important to remember that you are only one person and you have needs and feelings too. Give yourself permission to feel fed up, angry, upset and so on. You are entitled to these feelings, and shouldn’t feel guilty about feeling them.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with the emotions and feelings you may experience, everybody’s situation is different. Here are a few tips, which may assist you:

• Try to cut down on the work you’re doing, sort out what must be done and what can be left until later without harming anyone.
• Some exercise can help relieve mental and physical stress, e.g. a walk, gardening, home exercises, etc.
• If you are feeling tense, a long soak in the bath can help. Try closing your eyes for a few minutes and breathe slowly and deeply, then as you breathe out let yourself relax and go loose. This is a very simple technique, which can help you switch off for a few minutes.
• Try to go out occasionally, on a regular basis if possible.
• Take time out for just yourself everyday, even for just a few minutes. Be quite firm with yourself about taking these breaks.
• Speak to someone - your GP, NEWCIS or another Carer. Sharing your problems will make you feel better and less alone.

If things really are getting too much for you and talking to friends or fellow Carers is not enough, you may be able to receive counselling through the NHS, but you will need a doctor’s referral. Counselling is now available at some doctors’ surgeries. Check with your own GP. Some voluntary organisations and charitable agencies also offer counselling. This can be free or they may ask for a donation.

Alternatively, if you are in employment, then this service may be offered through the employer’s occupational health service. There are also private counselling services which may advertise in the telephone directory, or distribute leaflets in surgeries and so on. NEWCIS can always offer a listening ear if you are feeling low, and can advise you about support groups.