P L A N T E R S
By Ryan and Russell Smith
Episode 1 – The Pilot
Created by
Ryan and Russell Smith
CHARACTERS
JAKE BISHOP
LUKE MADDOX
DEWEY KLARK
BETHANY DAVID
BUGSY
-MORE CHARACTERS TO COME –
NEXT INSTALLMENT SOON TO COME
FADE IN
INT – LUKE’S Bedroom
This is the main character LUKE’S room, there are many band posters on the wall, Led Zeppelin, The Who, Nirvana, The Beatles, The Doors, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Pink Floyd etc. There is a small television set on a crate and a guitar on a leaning on a futon where LUKE is sleeping. The room is very slovenly. The door busts open it is JAKE BISHOP, this is LUKE’S best friend and roommate. JAKE owns the apartment and is the more responsible one.
JAKE
WAKE UP!
JAKE slaps LUKE on his face
JAKE
GET UP!
LUKE rolls over and looks at JAKE
LUKE
I am so tired.
JAKE
Well get up we got our
Job interview today.
LUKE
Another job, we failed
At all our other, Jake.
CUT TO:
A montage of them getting fired several time.
INT – Office Cubicle
There is an office cubicle where LUKE and JAKE have their desks, there is a piece of cardboard on the floor and they are playing dice. A BOSS walks in.
BOSS
Your fired.
CUT TO:
INT – office mailroom
They are sitting in the mail room of an office, wit their bare feet on the tables relaxing reading other people’s mail.
LUKE is holding up a letter
LUKE
That chick Terry from
Accounting is getting a raise.
JAKE
Good for her. She’s a nice
Lady.
A man walks in this is there boss, Mr. Evans.
MR. EVANS
What the hell is going
On here? This is highly
illegal, what your doing.
Your FIRED!
LUKE begins to laugh.
MR. EVANS
What’s so funny?
LUKE picks up a letter .
LUKE
According to this letter
So are you.
CUT TO:
EXT – A Carwash
Outside of a car wash JAKE and LUKE are in the back of a carwash having a break dance competition with a little Mexican guy named “PERFECTO” it says it on his shirt. “Perfecto” does a great break dance.
PERFECTO
(heavy Spanish accent)
Beat that.
LUKE pulls a gas can from behind a chair where he is sitting. He begins to pour gas all around the piece of cardboard where they are dancing.
JAKE
What are you doing?
LUKE
Simple. I am going light
It on fire and dance in the
flaming circle. So what?
JAKE
Why.
LUKE
For America, that’s why.
CU – Perfecto
LUKE now takes out a Zippo and ignites it and throws it towards the spot before it hits:
FREEZE FRAME
CUT TO:
The police talking to LUKE the carwash is on fire behind them.
POLICEMAN
What the hell happened.
LUKE
Apparently a guy was unhappy
With the job our little Latino
Friend Perfecto did on his
Nova.
POLICEMAN
So?
LUKE
So he was like
“I’m gonna burn this mother down”
because of their crappy service.”
He was disgruntled and psychotic.
CUT TO:
INT – Backroom of DELI
A manager of a deli walks into the backroom (storage) of his family delicatessen. At the lunch table JAKE and LUKE have egg shells and parts of hard boiled eggs all over the table and on the shirts and on their mouths they were having a contest (like in “Cool Hand Luke”) of who can eat more.
CUT TO:
INT – APARTMENT LIVINGROOM
It is the living room of LUKE and JAKE’S apartment. They are sitting on a couch both dressed up as clowns.
LUKE
I just wanted to give the
Kids a present, I was just
Trying to be a fun clown.
JAKE
Yeah Luke, but M-80s.
CUT TO:
INT – LUKE’S ROOM (where we left them before the sequence)
LUKE
We failed at those jobs
What’ll make this one any
Different?
JAKE
Because we are destined...
LUKE
To be great.
JAKE
No, you didn’t let me
Finish, we are destined
To be evicted.
LUKE
Ha, ha , ha, ha...
JAKE
O.k. let’s go.
LUKE
No, I’m not finished
Ha, ha, ha , ha, ha
(FADE OUT)
FADE INTO:
INT – Office waiting room
This is a boring waiting room, LUKE and JAKE are waiting to be called in for their interview, They are wearing nice suits. There is a RECEPTIONIST at a desk.
RECEPTIONIST
Jake Bishop and Luke Maddox.
They jump up and walk up to the desk.
JAKE
That’s us.
RECEPTIONIST
O.K great you guys can go
Right in.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT – DEWEY KLARK’S OFFICE
This is DEWEY KLARK’S office he is the supervisor of the Snack Division of Planter’s peanuts and snacks. He is a heavy set man and is chomping on some sort of nut.
DEWEY
So...why do you think
You boys are cut to work
At Planter’s.
JAKE
Well sir we’ve chomped
On your nuts.
They laugh but try to cover it up.
JAKE (cont’d)
Since we we’re old
To eat nuts, sir.
LUKE
Yeah Mr. They’re our all
Time favorite.
JAKE
Yeah we especially like the
Oven roasted almonds.
LUKE
Yeah and this one time at this
Party in the snack bowl there were
Peanuts, and I asked if they
Were Planter’s they said no
So I refused to eat them.
True story, scouts honor.
DEWEY
Well I like you guys you
Have promise in the salted
Snack industry. Your hired.
LUKE
Where will we be working, sir?
DEWEY
Oh, in the snack division.
They look distraught.
LUKE
Isn’t it all a snack division.
JAKE
Luke, show Dewey some respect.
DEWEY
No, he’s about right it’s all
A snack division.
JAKE
Oh, so when shall we start.
DEWEY looks at his watch.
DEWEY
Well it is about ten minutes
Until the crews break is over,
So that gives you about ten minutes
To get suited up.
JAKE
Suited up?
CUT TO:
INT – The factory floor
They are standing on the factory floor with their working jumpsuits on, DEWEY walks over with another worker a really elderly man named SULLIVAN O’ DOYLE he is about seventy-eight years old.
DEWEY
Boys, I want to introduce
You to the hardest worker.
In the factory, he is the glue
That holds this institution
Together this is Sullivan
O’ Doyle.
SULLIVAN
Just call me Sully.
DEWEY
Sullivan will be teaching
You guys the ropes.
SULLIVAN
Come on guys follow me.
They follow him through the factory.
SULLIVAN
There is the shelling station.
He points to it.
SULLIVAN
Those are the ovens, there.
He points to those as well.
SULLIVAN
Those there are the forklifts
They transport the bags of nuts.
LUKE looks excited.
LUKE
I’m guessing I’ll work on transporting
The nuts through and into the factory.
With the forklifts. Don’t worry sir, I
Won’t let you down.
SULLIVAN
Not so fast son. We got an extra special
Job for you.
CUT TO:
LUKE is standing in the front of a conveyer belt checking each and every nut for defects. He is throwing the bad nuts into a huge metal bin that says “THE JUNK TRUNK” there is a pretty looking girl about twenty-five or twenty-six years old that is working right beside him. Her name is BETHANY DAVID. She does not look like a girl that would be working in a factory like this.
BETHANY
Having fun, newbie.
LUKE
Far from it. And It’s not
Newbie.
BETHANY
Excuse, me?
LUKE
My name it’s Luke.
BETHANY
Mine’s Bethany but my
Friend call me Beth.
LUKE
Well hey Beth.
BETHANY
Your not a friend.
LUKE
Oh, sorry.
BETHANY
I’m joking you can call me Beth.
LUKE
So why is a girl like you
Working in a place like this?
BETHANY
Working through
School.
LUKE
Bummer.
BETHANY
Yeah well it was either this
Or one of those clubs by the
Airport.
LUKE
Hey I like those clubs.
Great atmosphere.
She laughs.
BETHANY
Uh-oh.
LUKE
What?
A big guy named BUGSY walks up to them.
BUGSY
Talking to me girl, dork.
BETHANY
Girl, I’ve worked here a week
And talked to you once I’m
Not your girl.
LUKE
Dork, you’re a roid-raged
Baboon, get lost.
BUGSY
I’ll say it once again
Get away from her.
LUKE
That’s gonna be hard we
Both work at this station.
BUGSY
Well you better find another
Work station.
LUKE
Well you better get off
The juice.
BUGSY
That’s it little man. I’m
Going to see you outside in
The parking lot after work.
LUKE
See you there, Jabba.
(awkward pause)
LUKE
You know from star wars.
Man I loved Star Wars.
CUT TO:
INT – LUKE’S childhood backyard
LUKE and JAKE are playing with sticks and using them as light sabers. Making the sounds and everything. They are little kids.
LUKE
We will never surrender the republic
Vader.
JAKE
Vader I’m not Vader I’m
Indiana Jones.
LUKE
Then I get to be Michael J. Fox
From Back to the Future.
JAKE
Fine.
LUKE
Fine.
They both storm away angry.
CUT TO:
INT – Factory floor (back to real time)
LUKE
Man Back to the Future Rocked.
(pause)
BETHANY stares at him blankly.
BETHANY
Well Sorry I got you into
This. On your first
Day and all.
LUKE
Well it’s o.k., I’ll kick his
Ass like George McFly got Biff.
CUT TO:
EXT – Factory parking lot
LUKE meets JAKE out in the parking lot.
JAKE
How was your first day?
LUKE
Well I supposed to be at a
Fight in two minutes. And I
Think I’m in love with my
Work station partner.
JAKE
Well I salted and sugared cashews.
LUKE
Not bad, not bad at all.
JAKE
You can’t fight remember
That time in 3rd grade?
CUT TO:
EXT – Schoolyard
ON TITLE CARD: MAY 18,1986
A group is around a fight in the schoolyard. It is LUKE who is a scrawny little kid and he is wearing an OINGO BOINGO shirt, he is fighting a big kid with a DEVO shirt.
LUKE’S POV
A fist comes at his face and when it hits
CUT TO BLACK
Light comes back when he opens his eyes to reveal he is staring at JAKE.
LUKE
Did I beat him Jake?
JAKE
No, he’s peeing on your backpack.
CUT TO:
We can see from the back the kid is peeing on his backpack.
CUT TO:
EXT – parking lot ( present time)
BUGSY is standing in front of LUKE there eyes are locked, BUGSY suddenly swings for LUKE. LUKE ducks and knocks him out with an uppercut.
JAKE
That was... AWESOME!
BETHANY
That was the craziest thing
I have ever seen.
LUKE
I’ll see you tomorrow.
JAKE
Are we leaving.
LUKE
We’re leaving but first.
CUT TO:
INT – DEWEY’S OFFICE
LUKE is sitting in DEWY’S office looking about to cry.
LUKE
Mr. Dewey I would like
To file a sexual harassment
Report.
DEWEY
For whom.
LUKE
I’M JUST SO SCARED.
He fake cries while his hands cover his face.
DEWEY
(more concerned)
Just tell me, it’s confidential.
He rises up and smiles
LUKE
Well confidentially he
Calls himself Bugsy.