By Hannah Album (Northern Council Achot) and Sarah Sculler (Central Council Achot)

RLTI GJHRR Sisterhood 2008

By Hannah Album (Northern Council Achot) and Sarah Sculler (Central Council Achot)

(Everyone in a circle)

Lights off…. Person speaking holds a flashlight

H: Twelve-year-old Debbie Shaw agrees to a challenge by other girls to end her bullying and victimization by fighting the school bully. She died of her injuries.

S: Sisters Samantha and Michaela Kendal are so taunted and bullied about being overweight they went on a hunger strike ... both died.

H: Eight-year-old Marie Bentham hung herself in her bedroom with her skipping rope because she could no longer face the bullies at school.

S: I’m a 14-year-old girl and the long summer holiday is my favorite time of the year.

S: My worst time is the beginning of September when I have to go back to school because I hate it. I do enjoy schoolwork and I’ve been getting mostly A’s and B’s in my exams but I can’t stand the bullies. I spend lunchtimes and breaks either in the toilets or I go to an empty classroom because I know otherwise I’ll get picked on, pushed around, called names and made fun of by a nasty group of girls. They have rich parents and ride their own horses and stuff like that. I don’t know why they pick on me or single me out. They just ruin my life. I haven’t told anyone about this and I really don’t want to go back to school next month as I know it’s all going to happen again.

H: For the past few decades, women have taken many positive steps in society. Whether with employment, education, or simple human rights, females have finally gained equality, which they have always deserved. Despite the progress made by the female gender, one flaw is just as prevalent today as it was twenty years ago: bullying.

S: Girls are infamous for being catty, gossiping, and simply not treating each other with respect. Bullying is not an issue to be taken lightly, nor is it uncommon. Each and every B’nai B’rith Girl sitting in this room has been bullied and, whether intentionally or not, been a bully.

H: We are now going to watch a short clip of a completely realistic situation in which a girl is tormented by her group of “friends” at school.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtC5AAGB1y0&feature=related (up to 6 minutes and 10 seconds)

H: After watching that video, can any of you relate to what Vanessa is dealing with? If not, what would you do if that happened to you?

(Take a few hands then move on)

S: As you can see in the film, Vanessa was also a victim of cyber-bullying, or online bullying. Cyber bullying can be just as or even more brutal than ordinary bullying, especially between girls, who are twice as likely to be victims of cyber bullying than boys. Cyber bullying is also much easier for the bully because she (or he) can remain anonymous the entire time.

H: Megan Meier sometimes suffered from low self-esteem and was on medication at the time of her death. But her family said she looked forward to her 14th birthday and having her braces removed.

H: When a cute boy befriended Megan on the social networking site MySpace, the two formed a quick connection during their more than month-long relationship.

H: Evans claimed to be a 16-year-old boy who lived nearby and was home schooled. But what began as a promising online friendship soon turned sour, as compliments turned to insults.

H: Evans said he didn't have a phone and so Megan couldn't talk to him. But the two continued their communication online, despite some red flags Tina Meier said she saw.

H: Still, all seemed to go well between Megan and Josh until an unsettling message started a tragic chain of events.

"Megan gets an e-mail, or a message from Josh on her MySpace on Oct. 15, 2006, saying, 'I don't know if I want to be friends with you any longer because I hear you're not nice to your friends,'" Tina Meier said.

S: Someone using Josh's account was sending cruel messages and Megan called her mother, saying electronic bulletins were being posted about her, saying things like, "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat," according to the Associated Press.

S: The cyber exchange devastated Megan, who was unable to understand how and why her friendship unraveled. The stress and frustration was too much for Megan, who had a history of depression.

S: Tina Meier discovered her daughter's body in a bedroom closet on Oct. 16, 2006. Megan had hanged herself and died a day later.

S: But six weeks after Megan's death, the Meiers learned Josh Evans never existed. A mother, who had learned of the page from her own daughter, told the Meiers a neighborhood mom had created and monitored Evans' profile and page.

H: Although cyber bullying may not always reach such an extreme level, it is still a very serious issue. What do you think you should do if you are ever cyber bullied?

(Take a few hands then move on)

S: There are a few effective ways to deal with bullies:

-Talk to a trusted friend or adult about the situation

-Stand up for yourself

-DO NOT bully back; you don’t want to stoop down to that level

-If you are being cyber bullied, DO NOT RESPOND and save the IM, email, etc.

-Remember that it is NOT your fault, and you do not deserve to be bullied!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgLhhPrysjA

While the video is playing, read the captions out loud:

H: Jared was attacked by a bully at McLaughlin Middle School on May 6, 1998 leaving him with extensive injuries, which required intensive medical treatment. Both the bully and Jared ended up being suspended for 3 days. Suspension and a deep depression caused by physical and mental pain resulted in Jared taking his own life.

S: One night, as Brandon stood by me, he said, “I feel dead inside.” On a cold December morning, only three weeks later, I was standing by Brandon’s dead body, knowing that despite all my efforts to save my beloved son, the bullies’ job had been done too well.

H: I called April out of her room and told her what I was told. She yelled, “I can’t believe you called the school!” She went back in her room and slammed the door. After about ten minutes she asked me to repeat what the vice principal had said. I again repeated what I was told. She was crying and yelled, “I hate you”. Those are the last words I heard from her.

S: The bullying came to a head on October 6, 2004…one of the girls slapped her and called her a “whore”. They said they wished she were dead and that she should “go home and kill herself”. The day my husband and I should have been listening to our daughter perform at the rodeo…we buried her instead.

H: With the keyboard as his weapon, the bully violated the sanctity of my home and my murder my child just as surely as if he had crawled through a broken window and choked the life from Jeff with his bare hands. It was not a death that was quick and merciful; it was carried out with lies, rumors, and calculated cruelty portioned out day by day.

S: Take one part shy and sensitive, impressionable and naïve young girl and add lack of self-esteem. Slowly stir in puberty. Add typical teenage pressure, including friends, grades, sports, extracurricular activities, and being perpetually on instant Chat. Add a daily dose of teasing, ridicule, and torment by a group of boys and then garnish with what turns out to be a sexually charged and romantic online relationship with a boy from another high school. Kristina lost her focus. In that tiny infinitesimal instant, Kristina made the choice to kill herself.

H: Little did Matt know that lurking around the corner was a parked car, and three upperclassmen were waiting for them. The upperclassmen restrained Matt and his friend and said, “Welcome to high school”. Then they proceeded to pour syrup on them, and smash eggs on their heads. Matt fought back and stood up for himself and his friend. The main attacker told Matt, “Stop fighting. This is how it is!” In order to make a wider base, we wanted to incorporate all of the aspects of bullying, harassment, and hazing together into a comprehensive anti bullying plan.

(Hand out paper shoes)

S: Now, I want each of you to think to a time when you’ve bullied another person, whether online, in person, or any other way, and “put yourself in her/his shoes”. Each of you is going to receive a “shoe” and you are all going to write on the shoe how you would have felt if you were the person being bullied and why. Then, also on the shoe, write what the reason was that you bullied the person.

(Go around and share)

H: Now think of a time that you have been bullied and how you felt (do not say out loud). After you have thought about it, I want you to repeat after me: I am beautiful, intelligent, and talented no matter what anyone else tells me. I am happy with myself as I am. I am not a bully, nor do I tolerate bullies. I am a B’nai B’rith Girl.

Sing BBG pep song!