WRITING TECHNIQUES
Buried Verbs and "Zombie" Nouns
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Concise writing avoids buried verbs and "zombie" nouns. Buried verbs are those that are needlessly converted to wordy noun expressions. This happens when verbs such as acquire, establish, and develop are made into nouns such as acquisition, establishment, and development. Such nouns often end in -tion, -ment, and -ance. Sometimes called zombie nouns because they cannibalize and suck the life out of active verbs, these nouns increase sentence length, slow the reader, and muddy the thought.*
Notice how you can make your writing cleaner and more forceful by avoiding buried verbs and zombie nouns:
Buried Verbs Creating Zombie NounsUnburied Verbs
conduct a discussion ofdiscuss
create a reduction inreduce
engage in the preparation ofprepare
give consideration toconsider
make an assumption ofassume
perform an analysis ofanalyze
reach a conclusion thatconclude
take action onact
Revise the following sentences to unbury the verbs and convert the zombie nouns.
1. Our business cannot succeed unless we immediately effect a reduction in overhead expenses.
2. Did anyone actually conduct an analysis of every department's expense items?
3. After analyzing current expenses, management has reached the conclusion that our budget is already trim.
4. Nevertheless, our directors insist that we take action immediately to slash the budget.
5. One director made the assumption that our Internet usage was excessive.
6. As a result, the CEO is giving consideration to an extensive Internet survey of all employee usage.
7. It may be necessary for some departments to make application for budget exemptions.
8. Department heads must make a determination of what costs are essential and what can be trimmed.
*Zombie nouns, coined by Dr. Helen Sword, appears in her Stylish Academic Writing (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2012).
9. It may be unnecessary for departments to undergo the cancellation of needed programs.
10. We hope that departments will take part in collaboration with other departments to see about the combination of selected services.
11. Department heads are encouraged to make an examination of what services might be combined.
12. We have made an estimation of possible savings of several hundreds of thousands of dollars.
13. Through the generation of cost-saving programs, the company should see a significant decline in expenses.
14. Once our departments are in agreement with regard to the combination of selected services, we can move forward with a trimmer budget.
15. Although we have experienced frustration with previous budget cutting, we have high hopes for success when departments undergo collaboration.
Suggested Revisions
1. Our business cannot succeed unless we immediately reduce overhead expenses.
2. Did anyone actually analyze every department's expense items?
3. After analyzing current expenses, management has concluded that our budget is already trim.
4. Nevertheless, our directors insist that we act immediately to slash the budget.
5. One director assumed that our Internet use was excessive.
6. As a result, the CEO is considering an extensive Internet survey of all employeeuse.
7. It may be necessary for some departments to apply for budget exemptions.
8. Department heads must determine what costs are essential and what can be trimmed.
9. It may be unnecessary for departments to cancel needed programs.
10. We hope that departments will collaborate with other departments to combine selected services.
11. Department heads are encouraged to examine what services might be combined.
12. We have estimated possible savings of several hundreds of thousands of dollars.
13. By generating cost-saving programs, the company should see a significant decline in expenses.
14. Once our departments agree to combine selected services, we can move forward with a trimmer budget.
15. Although we have been frustrated with previous budget cutting, we have high hopes for success when departmentscollaborate.
© Dr. Mary Ellen Guffey – May be duplicated for educational purposes only.
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