Body Paragraphs Examples using “Raymond’s Run”

Working Thesis statement: In "Raymond's Run" by Toni Cade Bambara, the protagonist struggles with not only acceptance of others, but also of herself, portraying the central conflict of the story.

Final Thesis statement: In “Raymond’s Run” by Toni Cade Bambara, the protagonist’s struggles, driven by internal and external forces, develop not only the central conflict of the story, but also the central conflict within the character’s personal development.

Three supports:

  1. Squeaky’s difficulty accepting how others treat Raymond.
  2. Squeaky’s personal difficulty accepting Raymond.
  3. Squeaky’s internal struggle accepting herself.

Body Paragraphs Outline:

Body Paragraph #1:

  1. Claim: Squeaky has an internal conflict developing her relationship with her brother.
  2. Proof: “And sometimes after a rain he likes to step down off his tightrope right into the gutter and slosh around getting his shoes and cuffs wet. Then I get hit when I get home. Or sometimes if you don’t watch him he’ll dash across traffic to the island in the middle of Broadway and give the pigeons a fit. Then I have to go behind him apologizing to all the old people sitting around trying to get some sun and getting all upset” (1).
  3. Second proof: Readers can infer that Raymond has a disability- “[C]ause he’s not quite right” (1).
  4. Reason/Reflection:
  5. Squeaky is mentally aware of how others look and treat Raymond.
  6. This continues to create her “tough” persona and how she handles every day situations- her brother is the reason she has become so hard and closed off from others at such a young age.
  7. She is torn between her brother being a burden and her love for a family member/protective instincts.
  8. Raymond also adds to the high expectations and responsibility Squeaky has as such a young girl.

Body Paragraph #2:

  1. Claim:
  2. Squeaky struggles with how others treat Raymond.
  3. Proof:
  4. “But now, if anybody has anything to say to Raymond, anything to say about his big head, they have to come by me. And I don’t play the dozens or believe in standing around with somebody in my face doing a lot of talking” (1).
  5. Reason/Reflection:
  6. Her way of handling the situation is to fight.
  7. She can’t handle others viewing him as “different”- illustrates a tough persona of threatening to simply hurt others instead of another approach.
  8. Causes not only an internal struggle, but an external struggle with others (physical fight)
  9. This connects to the central conflict because Squeaky is surrounded by conflict due to her own insecurity about her brother and his disability.

Body Paragraph #3

  1. Claim: Squeaky’s struggle internally.
  2. Proof: “So as far as everyone’s concerned, I’m the fastest and that goes for Gretchen, too, who has put out the tale that she is going to win the first-place medal this year. Ridiculous. In the second place, she’s got short legs. In the third place, she’s got freckles. In the first place, no one can beat me and that’s all there is to it” (1).
  3. Another proof: “But of course when I pass her house on my early morning trots around the block, she is practicing the scales on the piano over and over and over and over. Then in music class she always lets herself get bumped around so she falls accidentally on purpose onto the piano stool and is so surprised to find herself sitting there that she decides just for fun to try out the ole keys,” (2) in reference to Cynthia Rose.
  4. Reason/Reflection
  5. Squeaky is extremely dedicated to running; she is used to always winning.
  6. Her insecurities are shown when there is someone who is just as good as she is (Gretchen).
  7. She again returns to her tough persona in handling this situation- her confidence is exuded in how she talks about others who are talented.
  8. Insecurity and jealousy are shown, illustrating that the tough girl does have a weakness that she tries to hide, especially from others.

Body Paragraphs Model (taken from outline into essay format):

As the story begins, the protagonist, Squeaky, struggles with her relationship with her brother, Raymond. In describing Raymond, the text states, “[C]ause he’s not quite right,” (1) allowing readers to infer that he has a disability. This disability causes Squeaky to struggle with their relationship, a constant factor in her personal character development. Squeaky describes their relationship by stating, “And sometimes after a rain he likes to step down off his tightrope right into the gutter and slosh around getting his shoes and cuffs wet. Then I get hit when I get home,” (1) demonstrating how much of a responsibility he is, and how she must keep a close eye on Raymond at all times. She further states, “Or sometimes if you don’t watch him he’ll dash across traffic to the island in the middle of Broadway and give the pigeons a fit. Then I have to go behind him apologizing to all the old people sitting around trying to get some sun and getting all upset,” (1) which illustrates her awareness of how Raymond looks to others, and how his interaction with society isn’t “normal.” Squeaky’s conflict is the constant struggle between her brother being a burden and being her sibling. As a young girl, Squeaky has many responsibilities, and the significant responsibility of her brother creates a “tough-girl” persona. This persona is critical to her development as a character, for it is shown in her daily interactions with others.

Raymond’s disability causes Squeaky to struggle with how others treat and view him. Squeaky is always ready to defend her brother, and always portraying herself as a strong, hard-hitting, young girl. As the text states, “But now, if anybody has anything to say to Raymond, anything to say about his big head, they have to come by me. And I don’t play the dozens or believe in standing around with somebody in my face doing a lot of talking,” (1) the “tough-girl” persona that Squeaky conveys towards others is illustrated. Squeaky does not tolerate others mistreating her brother; her immediate reactionis to cause a fight if others look at Raymond differently or have say something about Raymond being different. Squeaky is surrounded by conflict due to her own insecurity about her brother and his disability. Raymond’s disability causes not only an external conflict with others, but also an internal conflict for Squeaky. Squeaky’s “tough-girl” persona hides this insecurity, along with other personal insecurities that Squeaky battles with.

Squeaky’s dedication to both Raymond and running cause an internal battle. From being used to being the best at running, Squeaky does not handle competition well. As she states, “So as far as everyone’s concerned, I’m the fastest and that goes for Gretchen, too, who has put out the tale that she is going to win the first-place medal this year . . .no one can beat me and that’s all there is to it,” (1) her insecurities are illustrated at the possibility that there is someone equally as good at running. Squeaky hides behind her confidence and “tough-girl” persona, trying to avoid showing her problem with any individual who may have talent. Her “tough-girl” persona continues to show through how she handles rivalry, such as when she states, “I could kill people like that. I stay up all night studying the words for the spelling bee. And you can see me any time of day practicing running,” (2) in reference to Cynthia Rose, another character that Squeaky sees as competition. Squeaky continually battles with hiding this insecurity and jealousy, afraid of showing weakness. Her internal conflict, evidently shown throughout the text, is an important aspect in her overall character development.