Bling King: Before
I love it,
I adore it,
Admire it
I want more of it.
It’s the best thing in the world.
I worship it
Depend on it,
I eat off it,
I’m addicted to it,
I treasure it,
I need it,
I crave for it,
Long for it.
I plead for it,
I bleed for it.
It’s my passion,
It’s my life,
It’s my wife.
It’s my joy, my future,
My past and my present.
It’s my idol,
My god,
It’s everything I love most in the world.
I live for it,
I would die for it
Do anything
Give anything
Sacrifice everything for it.
In fact I really wish that
Everything I touch could turn to…
Bling King: After
I hate it,
I despise it,
Detest it
Want no more of it
It’s the worst thing in the world.
I curse it.
Who needs it?
What good is it?
It’s my enemy,
It’s worthless
I wish it were gone,
It’s nothing more than a piece of scrap metal
I wish I could make it disappear.
I dislike it,
It haunts me
It’s my undoing.
It’s my hell,
It’s destroyed my life.
It’s my sadness, my future,
My past and my present.
It’s evil, my nightmare,
My weakness, my sorrow,
I wish I could escape from it
It will be the death of me,
In fact I really wish that
All the gold I have could turn to dust…
Two Sides of the Same Coin
I was born in a palace,
I was born in a barn.
I can eat anything I like,
I am always hungry.
I earn £1,000 a minute,
I earn £10 a year.
I have a lot of servants,
I work like a slave.
I sleep in a mansion with eighty two bedrooms,
I sleep in a field under the stars.
I go by chauffeur driven limo, to a private school in Barbados,
I don’t go to school at all.
I live easily,
I die easily.
I wear golden shoes,
I walk barefoot.
I like caviar,
I eat rice.
I own a theme park,
I own nothing.
I play all day,
I work all day.
I have my own doctor,
I can’t afford to see a doctor.
I like a five-course meal,
I don’t know what it means.
I wear fine suits,
I dress in rags.
My mother is a millionaire,
My mother is dead.
I live off money,
I live off our farm.
I have a private secretary,
I can’t even spell my own name.
I buy my friends,
I love my friends.
My life would be nothing without money,
My life is nothing without money.
I live in luxury,
I live in poverty.
Money Talks
I was born in a furnace,
Brought up in a bank,
I learned my trade
In an ATM.
I’ve been wet and cold,
New and old,
I’ve been dropped down a drain,
I’ve travelled to Spain.
I’ve paid the bill,
Been stuck in a till,
Lost in France,
Washed with pants.
Been borrowed and stolen,
Nicked by a crook,
Licked by a dog,
Given as change,
Lost and found.
Buried underground.
I’ve lived in a wallet,
In pockets and purses,
I’ve been withdrawn,
Been in dark places,
Been spun, tossed,
Won and lost.
I’ve been involved in crime.
And I’ve served my time.
Been on a bus,
Flown by plane,
I was thrown on the line
Of a railway train.
Crushed in gutters,
Hung out with nutters.
I’ve been thrown in a fountain,
I’ve swum in the sea,
Dropped and ripped,
And flopped and flipped.
Sometimes tails
And sometimes heads.
I’ve rolled in the gutter,
Been stuck under beds,
I’ve done my time
In a magpie’s nest.
North and south,
East and west,
Cold hands, hot hands,
Large and small,
Hard and sweaty
I’ve seen them all.
Only Human
And on the eighth day God created gold. ‘Anyone want some?’ he asked.
‘Can you swim in it?’ asked the dolphin,
‘Does it keep you warm?’ asked the lizard,
‘Can you hunt it?’ asked the tiger,
‘Can you build a nest with it?’ asked the hawk,
‘Can you chase it?’ asked the cheater,
‘Will it make me grow?’ asked the apple tree.
‘No,’ God replied.
‘No thanks!’ they said.
‘Can it swat me?’ asked the fly,
‘Will it quench my thirst?’ asked the camel,
‘Does it make music?’ asked the shell,
‘Will I breathe fire with it?’ asked the dragon,
‘Can you sting it?’ asked the scorpion,
‘Can you peel it?’ asked the ape.
‘No,’ God replied.
‘No thanks!’ they said.
‘Will it make me taller?’ asked the giraffe,
‘Can you dive in it?’ asked the penguin,
‘Can you tunnel in it?’ asked the mole,
‘Can you play with it?’ asked the kitten,
‘Will it make my shell harder?’ asked the turtle,
‘Can you drink it?’ asked the rose.
‘No,’ God replied.
‘No thanks!’ they said.
‘Can you nibble it?’ asked the caterpillar,
‘Will it make me beautiful?’ asked the Ugly Duckling,
‘Can you bury a bone in it?’ asked the dog,
‘Will it protect me from the wind?’ asked the oak tree,
‘Does it bite?’ asked the shark,
‘Can it talk?’ asked the parrot.
‘No,’ God replied.
‘No thanks!’ they said.
‘Will it cause a lot of trouble?’ asked the human,
‘I am afraid so,’ God replied.
‘YES PLEASE!’ said the human.
The Money Tree: Spring
The leaves are green as dollars.
The trunk is as round as a 2p coin.
The roots twist like a money spider’s web.
The branches come and go like loose change.
The bark is as wrinkled and scrunchy as Scrooge’s face.
The fruit smells fresh as a newly printed note.
The blossom is rich and golden,
And at night the sound of the wind
is the sound of cash registers chinging, chinging…
The Money Tree: Autumn
The leaves fall like cold copper coins in an old beggar’s hat,
they fade like savings, disappear like pocket money.
The branches are as bare as a widow’s purse, empty as your pockets.
The blossom disappears like a punter’s money, old crumpled notes floating in the breeze.
The roots reach out like the fingers of a child selling matchsticks on the street,
searching for food in the gutter.
The bark is as hard as a miser’s heart.
The trunk is hollow, empty as a bank account,
thin and starved as a victim of famine.
The last fruit clings to the branch like a homeless person clutching their last possessions.
The twigs point like starving children.
And at night the sound of the wind is the echo of a child sighing,
‘please sir, can I have some more?...’
Funny Money
If carrots were money
We would all start digging.
If smiles could buy things
We would all be jolly.
If soap was money
We’d be filthy rich.
If water was money
We’d be swimming in it.
If friends were precious
We’d all be rich.
If time was money
We’d spend it more carefully.
If chocolate was healthy
We’d all be wealthy.
If cheese was money
We’d be stinking rich.
If life was cheap
Somebody would make a killing…
What’s in my pocket?
You can hold it,
But you can’t keep it.
You can change it,
But it can change you.
Hungry people need it
But you can’t eat it.
Everyone wants it,
But not everyone has it.
Some people love it
But it can’t buy you love.
Shops are full of it,
But you can’t buy it.
It can’t do anything
But you can do anything with it.
It can help you do good
But it can make you do bad.,
If you’re thirsty you want it …
But you can’t drink it.
If you use it,
You lose it.
You can’t wear it,
But you’d be naked without it.
A little have a lot
And a lot have a little.
Some people die for it,
Some people live for it.
It’s valuable
But it’s worthless.
What is it