Letting Your Boss Know How You

Feel: An Example of Benign Humor

Storyline by Marci Hunt

Setting

A University Christmas Party and a New--to me--office staff meeting

Situation

With in the last month I have changed jobs. Up until the 4th of January I was the Study Abroad Coordinator. My work life had become mundane because I knew how to do it. The job offered me very little creative outlet and I felt that I was no longer adding effectively to University X. After four and a half years I determined that I needed a change. On January 5, 2xxx, I started a new job in the Dean of Students Office.

Leaving a job of four years was difficult for me because I really believe in the importance of Study Abroad in student development, but I knew I had to make a change. Everything that is associated with starting a new job has been racing through my head since I decided to make the change. Stress, anxiety and curiosity consumed most of my days leading up to the transition. Since this change happened during the Christmas holidays there were quite a few Christmas parties going on around campus. I attended one that was given by the International Student Services Office. Since our offices had a similar outlook on international concerns, the two groups interacted regularly.

At the time of the party, most people did not know that I was planning on changing jobs. As I walked in and noticed the people in attendance I realized that this would be as good of time as any to tell them about my new job and responsibilities. I approached a few of my co-workers to let them know. While I was happily describing to them what was going on in my life, another person from the International Student Services Office (who I had not seen in over a year) came to me and said “Marci, you are glowing! What is going on?” With great excitement and joy in my voice I told her that I had a new job and was going to start in the next month. I was laughing and smiling and generally feeling pretty good about everything when I looked over and saw my old boss (then current boss) standing close enough to me to hear what was being said. Embarrassed, I kind of waved at him and said something like “…just joking.., I’m really going to miss working for you.” My old boss just smiled, laughed and went on talking to his friend.

The next week I went to my first staff meeting with my new office. I was only there to say hello and for quick introductions. My new boss likes to hear a little bit from each person so we went around the table telling something about ourselves. It eventually reached me and I told them about the party the week before. They all laughed and we smiled and my face turned bright red. A few minutes later I left the meeting to go back and finish up in my old office.

Results of Humor

Thinking back about the situation shows different levels of humor. Most people not knowing my emotional state in regard to my old job may not find this story humorous. However, to me even reading about the situation is funny.

First Layer: myself

The situation is funny to me because I experienced it. I can remember the feeling that day when I was telling people that I had a new job. It was like a huge ugly burden was taken off my shoulders. Looking back I can see when that boulder was put on my shoulder and the weight that it carried. When I started telling people that I had a new job I just felt so much lighter. It was like joy was coming back to me because I was once again excited about my job.

On a totally separate level, it has always been a personal goal that once I start complaining about my job on a regular basis, it is a big clue that I need something to change in my life. I do not like to complain about something without looking for a way to fix the problem. So when I was telling people that I had a new job I also felt like I had accomplished something.

Second Layer: my boss

In a certain way, I think I enjoyed the whole scene more because my boss heard it. It was kind of like one last innocent teasing toward my boss that I was moving on. My old boss was wonderful but I think he realized I needed something more challenging. We had a joking kind of relationship so this played along with it.

Third Layer: my new co-workers

I told this to my new co-workers because I wanted to express to them in a non-brown nose kind of way, that I was happy that I was coming to work with them. It is difficult to be the new person in an office and it was important to me to be accepted. By telling this story I was asking them to accept me as one of them and by making myself look silly, it did not come across as condescending. The insecurity I was feeling showed that I was nervous about joining a group of people that had been together for a while and my wanting to be accepted.

On their part, I think my new co-workers felt it was humorous because it showed that they had “won” or “stolen” me from another department. Vanderbilt is very competitive and departments try and do better then their colleagues. By my coming into their department, leaving a job I enjoyed, to take a more challenging job demonstrated that I wanted to be in their group.

Concepts learned

(from the Humor Works book by John Morreall, HRD Press, MA, 1997)

Social Lubricant

“Most workplaces and most professions have funny stories and jokes that promote solidarity among members of that group. I call this their humor lore, and when you take a new position, you don’t fell part of the group until you’re in on some of this lore”(p. 132). I used the story to help me transition into an already established group and become part of the office humor lore. When everyone at the meeting laughed with my joke, I immediately felt better about joining the office. The story made me feel like I was already a part of the group.

Humor to beat stress and feel healthier

The situation I described also demonstrated how I use laughter as a tool to a healthier lifestyle and beat stress. For instance, I can remember the feeling I had when I was telling people about my new job and the word joyful keeps coming to mind as I felt the pressure of negative feelings leave my mind. In terms of beating stress the laughter and positive feeling is still working. My new job requires a huge amount of responsibility that I still have to learn how to do and I have to manage it effectively. Instead of being worried about the job, I have a good attitude that I can get the work done and I will try not worry too much about it.

Mental Flexibility

“Humor loosens up our minds and gets us to put ideas together in new and usual ways.” (p.118) One of the reasons I started to look for a new job was because I no longer felt the need to be creative. Already in my new position I have discovered different avenues where I can be creative. Humor and a positive outlook has allowed me this opportunity to flex my mental capabilities.

References

Alter, Cathy. “Heard the One About the Humor Seminar?; At U-Md., a Program Where

Jest is No Joke.” The Washington Post. Nov. 27, 2000.

Buskin, John. “The Best Way to…Find Jumor --- There’s a rabbi and a priest online…”

The Wall Street Journal. November 27, 2000.

Dwyer, Tom. “Humor, Power and Change in Organizations.” Human Relations, 44.1.

Jan. 1991.

Duncan, W., Jack. “Humor in Management: Prospects for Administrative Practice and Research.” Academy of Management. The Academy of Management Review, 7.1. Jan. 1982.

Locke, Edwin. “The Ideas of Frederick W. Taylor: An Evaluation.” Academy of

Management. The Academy of Mangement Journal, 7.1. Jan. 1982.

Morreal, John. (1997). Humor Works. Amherst, MA: HRD Press, Inc.

Zeira, Yoram., & Avedisian, Joyce. “Organizational Planned Change: Assessing the Chances for Success.” Organizational Dynamics, 17.1. Spring 1989.

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