Beyond Parenting: a Comprehensive Parenting Program
BEYOND PARENTING
A COMPREHENSIVE PARENTING PROGRAM
HEALING TRANSITIONS
CREATIVE COUNSELING FOR CHILDREN
FAMILIES, INC.
PATRICIA ANN CRAVEN, PHD, LMFT, RPT-S
ILLUSTRATED BY DONALD MATTSON, MA
Beyond Parenting 1st Edition
By Patricia Ann Craven
This book is dedicated to my husband and best friend
Jeffrey Brian Craven
My children:
Nicholas Burazer
Natalie Darlington
Nathan Burazer
And my precious grandchildren:
Brett Darlington
Katie Darlington
I would like to acknowledge the efforts of
Isabel Kourany, Trinka Brannan, and Jennifer Oseroff.
They spend many hours compiling, and gathering, and
researching information to complete this book.
Thank you!
Please get permission from this author before copying or reproducing any or all of this book. Contact Patricia Ann Craven, at Healing Transitions, or email
CONTENTS
Objectives…………………………………………………………………………………..4
Definitions…………………………………………………………………………...... 5
The 7 R’s of Discipline Model…………………………………………………...... 6
CHAPTER 1-SESSION 1-WHAT IS PARENTING ANYWAY?...... 7
How Parenting has Changed………………………………………...... 8
Types ofParents and Current Challenges………………………………….……..10
What are Your Parenting Goals……………………………………………………...10
What is Your Parenting Style...... 13
Rating Your Parenting Skills………………………………………………………....15
Parent Challenge Activity I………………………………………………………...... 16
Promoting Resiliency in Children……………………………………………………17
CHAPTER 2-SESSION 2-HOW TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD...... 20
Alternative Methods of Discipline………………………………………………..….21
To Spank or Not to Spank…………………………………………………………....22
Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Child…………………………………………….…...22
Time-Outs……………………………………………………………………………...... 25
Temper Tantrums……………………………………………………………………....25
Distress or Little Nero Tantrums…………………………………………………….26
Can you Spoil a Baby...... 32
The Difference between Punishment and Discipline………………………..…..32
Applying the 7 R’s of Discipline………………………………………………..…….34
Respect………………………………………………………………………………..…..34
Respond……………………………………………………………………………….….35
Relatedness………………………………………………………………………..……..40
Reasonable……………………………………………………………………………..…41
Responsibility…………………………………………………………………………….42
Reward and Review……………………………………………………………………..43
Twenty Alternatives to Punishment…………………………………………………46
CHAPTER 3-SESSION 3-COMMUNICATION...... 49
Communicating with Your Child…………………………………………………….50
“I” Messages………………………………………………………………………………52
Encouragement:Building Your Child’s Confidence and Feelings of Worth.54
The Difference Between Praise and Encouragement……………………………55
Parent Challenge II……………………………………………………………………..57
The Language of Encouragement……………………………………………………58
Family Meetings…………………………………………………………………………59
CHAPTER 4-SESSION 4-PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT…………………..……68
What is Normal...... 70
Nutrition………………………………………………………………………………..…71
Stages of Child Development………………………………………………………...76
Early Brain Development and Attachment………………………………………..77
CHAPTER 5-SESSION 5-EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT……………………..79
Helping Children with their Big Feelings…………………………………………..80
The Long Term Effects of Not Helping Children……………………………….…80
Does Your Child Need Therapy……………………………………………………...84
Recognizing Mental Health Issues in Children…………………………………...85
Stress and Anxiety………………………………………………………………….…..91
Learning or School Problems…………………………………………………………95
Anger……………………………………………………………………………………..103
Parent Challenge Activity III…………………………………………………………108
The Anger Box………………………………………………………………………….109
Problems with Lying…………………………………………………………………..110
CHAPTER 6-SESSION 6-SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT…………………………..117
Developing Social Skills…………….………………………………………………..118
The Benefits of Play……………………………………………………………………122
Tasks Children can do to Learn Responsibility………………………………...127
Reinforcing School-Related Activities……………………………………………..130
CHAPTER 7-SESSION 7-KEEPING YOUR CHILD SAFE…………………..131
How Not to Raise a Bully………………………………………………………….…132
The Child Care Question………………………………………………………….…133
Preventing Sexual Abuse………………………………………………………….…135
Domestic Violence……………………………………………………………………..138
What are the Signs and Symptoms of Domestic Violence…...... 142
How Does Domestic Violence Affect Children...... 143
Statistics of Children who are Caught in the Middle……………………….…144
Signs to Look for in a Battering Personality…………………………………….145
Effects on Children who Witness Domestic Violence……………………….…146
REFERENCES………………………………………………………………………...147
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