Below Are 2 Ways to Conceptualize This Step

Step Three “Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him.”

Set aside prayer: God please enable me to set aside everything I think I know for an open mind and a new experience. Help me see the Truth about the failure of my life run on self-will and my decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God.

Instructions: read and highlight:

BB pages 58-63

Step 3 in the 12 & 12 (can also look at NA 12 & 12 and OA 12 & 12)

Below are 2 ways to conceptualize this step:

Principle / Theme/Solution / Action / Defect / Result
Faith (Keystone) / Let Him
God-Dependence / Practice Willingness / Self-reliance
Self Sufficiency / Serenity
A new relationship that begins the “turning” from self to God.
Purpose / Process / Experience / Result / Promise
Decide on a relationship with God / Identify the relationship you need to have with God / Make a decision to have this relationship, which makes it happen. / Begin to act as if it has been established / I will comprehend the word serenity and I will know peace

Step 3 consists of:

• A decision
• We try to determine what constitutes our will and our lives. (Action)
• We seek an understanding of God by placing our will and our life in His care. (Solution)
• We reveal our problem which is our defect of character: selfishness and self-seeking

Third Step Prayer

"God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" (p. 63 BB)

God, Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live. AMEN (the step on p. 59 BB)

Understanding the words of the step:

Made: to arrive at (a choice, decision, conclusion) after thought

Decision: a making up of one’s mind; the result of making up one’s mind.

Turn: to alter the course; to cause to change one’s actions, beliefs, aims, etc. turnover to hand over; transfer.

Will: an intension, command or request; moral strength or energy; determination; disposition towards others, to dominate so as to control the actions of. WILL =THINKING

Lives: the period of time from birth to present; the aggregation of one’s actions, thoughts, activities, etc., one’s existence; a specified period or aspect of one’s existence; a way or manner of existence. MY LIFE = MY ACTIONS

God: seen as the omnipotent (having unlimited power or authority, all powerful)creator and ruler of the universe.

Understand: past form of understood: to seize the meaning of; to form a reasoned judgment concerning something; to interpret, attribute, a specified meaning to.

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

There are 3 requirements in doing Step 3:

1. We become convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.
2. We must stop playing God.
3. We let God direct our lives: He knows better than we do.

Step 3 identifies the problem: unrestrained self-will. “… selfishness and self-centered is the root of our problem. Our fears cause us to care only about our own needs and to sympathize only with our own suffering. We disregard the needs and the suffering of others and they react. Even when other people hurt us and we think that we have done nothing wrong, we will always find that we have placed ourselves in the situation that hurt us.”

Step 3 solution: God: We cannot get rid of our self-will using our self-will. We have to have God’s help and surrender our will and our life over to the care of God, as we understand God.

As an alcoholic, you must get rid of selfishness or face death. There is no way of getting rid of selfishness without God. You must have God’s help.

Third step promises:

When you stop playing God and let God direct your life, amazing things will happen:

1. God will direct your life and give you what you need.
2. You will become less selfish and genuinely care for others.
3. You will be interested in making a positive contribution to life.
4. You will feel power flow in.
5. You will enjoy peace of mind.
6. You will face life successfully.
7. You will begin to Spiritually Awaken.
8. You will begin to lose your fear.
9. You will become a different person.

Step 3 seems to require more of us than the first 2 steps. In this step, we take affirmative action as a result of the developing awareness we have gained from working the first 2 steps. We are now asked to turn ourselves over to a Higher Power with total abandon. It is in these first 3 steps that we set the foundation for working all of the steps and for achieving the peace and security we are looking for.

When we turn our lives over to the care of god as we understand Him, one of two things will happen:

If we are living in the first 3 steps in our lives and in all things, we are living maturely and responsibly, and then our Higher Power will work things out for us.

If we aren’t living in the first 3 steps in our lives, our Higher Power will allow us to feel the consequences of our actions, so we can learn from them and then act mature and responsible.

The 12 Steps on BB pp 59 & 60 are simply an outline. They are not the directions laid out in the BB for the program of action.

BB pp 60:

a)That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives, (I can’t) (Step 1)

b)That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. (He can) (Step 2)

c)That God could and would if He were sought. (A decision to allow this to happen by following the Program of Action) (Step 2)

Time Table

BB pp 60: Being convinced we were at Step three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him.

BB pp 63 – we were now at Step three.

“Being convinced” and “now” are time tables. You must be convinced of A, B and C above in order to move on to and do Step 3.

Lead in pages

Read all of the BB pp 61. Read the first paragraph (What usually happens?”) with your name in the place of “he” “him” “himself” It shows how much of self you were wrapped up in.

Read all of BB pp 62. Selfish?In self?

Self is old ideas, emotions and attitudes.

BB pp 27 – Dr. Jung talks about old ideas, emotions and attitudes. Being “in self.”

Third Step promises BB pp 63:1

1. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed.
2. We had a new Employer.
3. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, I we kept close to Him and performed His work well.
4. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs.
5. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.
6. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
7. We were reborn.
8. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.

We were reborn. Old self=old ideas, emotions and attitudes reborn into new self = new ideas, emotions and attitudes.

BB pp 567: In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Through it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming “God-consciousness” followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.

Clear cut direction for step 3 on BB pp 63

1st direction: 2nd pp, line 8: we thought well before taking this step

2nd direction: 3rd pp line 1: we found it desirable to take

3rd direction: 3rd pp line 4: “the wording was quite optional.

Have group make their own third step prayer.

Third Step decision: I have to ask myself is this what I want:

God = director, 1=action (play the role He assigns… not the role I assign myself)

God = Principal, I = agent (for God)

God = Father, I = his kid

God = Employer, I = His employee

Willingness = foundation (pp 12), belief = cornerstone (pp 47), Keystone= step 3

Prayer

BB pp 61 – Pray the prayer on pp 67 without reservation.

Notice the prayer is an open prayer. There is no “amen.”

Afterthought

Step 3 is NOT a conclusion of the mind like steps 1 & 2. Step 3 is a decision of the heart. This decision manifests by doing steps 4-9 in a timely manner, followed by steps 10, 11 and 12.

The time table for Step 4 is “at once.” Thought our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face and to be rid of the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.

You must at once start on Step 4 while you are still enthusiastic about doing so. If you wait, you will run the risk of losing that enthusiasm.

AA BB quotes

Original Manuscript “how it works”

Chapter Five

HOW IT WORKS

Rarely have we see person fail who has thoroughly followed our directions. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -then you are ready to follow directions. At some of these you may balk. You may think you can find an easier, softer way. We doubt if you can. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. Remember that you are dealing with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for you. But there is One who has all power That One is God. You must find Him now!

Half measures will avail you nothing. You stand at the turning point. Throw yourself under His protection and care with complete abandon.

Explain Self-Will vs. God’s Will Test

i.e. dishonesty, resentment, honesty, purity, unselfishness, love

Sep 3: read the ABC on pp 60: I can’t , God can, Step 3 is a decision to all this to happen by following the 12 step program of action.

Read pp 61: discuss

Read pp 62: emphasize the much used word, “self”

Define self in terms of “old ideas, emotions and attitudes.” Revisit pp 27 and explain that this description by Dr. Jung is a definition of self as old ideas, emotions and attitudes.

Third step promises: read top pp of 63

Parallel “reborn” with our old self = old ideas, emotions and attitudes, (pp 27)

27:4 alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. To me these occurrences are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. In fact, I have been trying to produce some such emotional rearrangement within you. With many individuals1,2 the methods which I employed are successful, but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.”

Parallel “reborn” with top pp on p 567.

Point out the 3 “clear cut directions for Step 3

1st direction: 2nd pp, line 8: we thought well before taking this step

2nd direction: 3rd pp line 1: we found it desirable to take

3rd direction: 3rd pp line 4: “the wording was quite optional.

Go through the prayer sentence by sentence, and describe what that sentence means to them.

Say prayer. Comment but do not explain absence of “amen.”

Afterthought:

Step 3 is not simply a conclusion of the mind, like steps 1 and 2. But it is a sincere decision manifests by doing steps 4-9 in a timely manner, followed by steps 10, 11, and 12.

Step 3:(optional) Pg. 60-63, paragraph 2…(a) That we were alcoholics and could not…

Pg. 63, paragraph 2…We were now at Step Three…

Explain Self-Will vs. God’s Will Test

i.e. dishonesty, resentment, honesty, purity, unselfishness, love

Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

(13:1) At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

(13:2) There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since.

(44:4) If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.

(53:2) When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?

(53:3) Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted with the question of faith. We couldn't duck the issue. Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of Reason toward the desired shore of faith. The outlines and the promise of the New Land had brought luster to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits. Friendly hands had stretched out in welcome. We were grateful that Reason had brought us so far. But somehow, we couldn't quite step ashore. Perhaps we had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support.

(53:4) That was natural, but let us think a little more closely. Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith? For did we not believe in our own reasoning? Did we not have confidence in our ability to think?

What was that but a sort of faith? Yes, we had been faithful, abjectly faithful to the God of Reason. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time!

(55:5) In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist. His story is so interesting that some of it should be told now. His change of heart was dramatic, convincing, and moving.

(56:2) One night, when confined in a hospital, he was approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual experience. Our friend's gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: "If there is a God, He certainly hasn't done anything for me!" But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: "Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong?" While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came. It crowded out all else:

(56:3) "Who are you to say there is no God?"

(56:4) This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away. He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. He had stepped from bridge to shore. For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator.

(56:5) Thus was our friend's cornerstone fixed in place. No later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem was taken away. That very night, years ago, it disappeared.

(57:0) Save for a few brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity.

(57:1) What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made him willing to believe. He humbly offered himself to his Maker -then he knew.