Bailee Morris
Mrs. Greentree
Idaho Virtual Academy
October 2nd, 2012
Hard Work Pays Off
Animal cruelty is very bad and needs to be stopped. Hurting an animal is like hurting a child. Everything has feelings, and should be treated as so. Through two months, I learned that hard work really does pay off. (I rearranged it… I think it flows better this way.)
I was on my way home from school when a little boy in third grade (I think third grade boy sounds a bit funny…) ran up to me.
“The kittens were born last Saturday!” he told me.
“Can I come over and see them later?” I asked.
He nodded and ran off to catch up with his sister, a first grader named Ocee. When the kittens got older, I would ask my mom if I could have one. After all, what is a better way to learn responsibility than by taking care of an animal?
When I got home, I quickly did my homework and chores. I walked down the street to their house and knocked on the door. Marshall, the boy in the third grade, answered the door. (I rearranged the sentence order.) He called to his sister, and they came outside with me. I saw the kittens in a small box in a dark corner. (I rearranged that) They were 10 days old, eyes already open, and crying their hearts out. I guess the mama (Since it is not being used as a name, don’t capitalize it.) cat was out hunting or something. (This previous sentence seems a bit unnecessary… Maybe cut it out?) There were four kittens total: two identical Siamese, an orange tabby, and a black/white one. When the Siamese kittens looked up at me, I noticed they weren’t completely identical. One had a white mustache, while the other had an orange one. They cried while looking up at me. I assumed they were hungry. I picked them both up.
They snuggled into me when I sat down, purring and falling asleep. (Omit the comma after ‘into me’) Gently petting them, I got them to chill out and sleep. Marshall and Ocee had the other two kittens. I was there for an hour with the two kittens sleeping on my lap. (Again, omit the comma after hour) Then, it was time for me to go.
“Come back anytime you want!” Ocee said.
“I’ll come when I can. Thanks.” I said as I left.
I walked home, thinking about how I could get one of the kittens. I was 9 years old, and had wanted a pet of my own for three years. If I could let my mom see I was ready to take care of a pet, maybe I could have one the Siamese kittens. Through dinner I thought about it, before I went to bed, and when I woke up. I thought about it during dinner, before I went to bed, and when I woke up. I would do all that I could to get a kitten. (It seems more complete this way.) With only one week of school left, I would soon be able to spend a lot more time bonding with all the kittens.
Summer was here. The kittens were 20 days old, and starting to find their legs. Just enough to squirm around, but not quite walk. I noticed they were a bit thin, even for their young age. I picked up the two Siamese kittens, cuddling them close to me. Marshall had the black/white one, who they were calling Cow, (no need for parentheses in the previous phrase) Ocee had the orange one named Tangerine. I was looking down at the kittens on my lap, whose names were apparently Abby and Milkshake, when I heard a sharp cry of pain. When I looked up, Marshall had Cow by his tail, dangling him in the air.
“Hey, try this! It’s funny!” he laughed.
Ocee grabbed Tangerine’s tail and jerked her up in the air, laughing. I watched in horror, shaking my head, but not saying anything. They finally stopped, and as soon as the kitten’s legs touched my lap, they took off. They fell onto the cement porch and stumbled back to their nest.
“Oh yeah! We’re gonna be gone for two weeks on vacation,” Ocee told me.
I looked up, “Who’s gonna watch the cats?”
She shrugged, “We’ll leave out food and water for them.”
I nodded, “Well, I hope you have fun…”
After I got home, I told my mom what had happened with the kittens and how they would be alone for two weeks. My plan was to check on them, and give them water and food… (You can’t water cats!! Haha) I wanted to take care of them to show my mom I was responsible.
Monday was here, Marshall and Ocee were gone, and the kittens were free. I couldn’t wait to go play with them. I got a cup of food, a couple toys, and a bowl of water, and then I made my way to rescue the kittens. I grabbed the Siamese with the white lip, Milkshake, as soon as I got there, and held her close. She was really freaked out; it made me wonder what happened in the four days I hadn’t been there. She licked my hand a couple times as I ran my hand along her back. She had really soft fur... All four kittens were in my lap, purring and sleeping, when I realized I had been there for almost three hours! Quickly, but carefully, I put the kittens back in the box, gathered up my ‘supplies’ and ran home. My mom was in the kitchen, and looked at me, surprised, when I burst through the door.
“When did you leave?” she asked.
“Almost three hours ago, but I didn’t mean to stay gone so long!” I explained.
She looked at me weird, so I decided to tell her my plan. Maybe she could help. But, I also knew that this was something I had to do myself. I’d work as hard as I’d have to. Just to get the kitten. But, it was no longer just a matter of wanting my own cat; I had to rescue her before she was killed. Pulling a cat’s tail can mess up its spine, resulting in death or paralyzation. The kittens were almost a month old. That meant exploring and getting used to their legs more. Thinking of a way to scout out possible dangers, I started drawing out my idea to keep them in a small space away from the big world, but with enough space to stretch and play.
Two weeks later, the kittens were now 40 days old and finally driving me crazy. The family got back. I made sure to cover up any evidence that I was there. Even though I had brought them a big cup of food everyday, it didn’t help fatten them up. They were still really skinny. Three more weeks, and I could have my own kitten. At leastthat was the plan. (took out the … wasn’t necessary)
After all that I had seen, I hated going to their house now. (The change in order makes it flow better.) All four kittens had been picked up by ears, tails, whiskers, paws, and even fur. The smell of cat dirt was overwhelming and always made me sick. But I had to stick with it. Not much longer…I knew I could do it. For the sake of the kitten. I was holding Milkshake when Marshall’s mom asked me if I wanted a kitten. I quickly nodded my head.
“Which one do you want?” she asked.
I pointed at Milkshake, “I’m really attached to this one…” and the other three.(Good use of making a thought! And there is not need to use’ ‘ for the names… Milkshake is the kitten’s name so you do not need ‘ ‘ around them.)
“Bring her to your mom; see what she says about it.”
Quickly walking home, I cuddled the kitten into my neck, thinking of what I might say to my mom. The house came into view; I still didn’t know what I’d say… Time for kitten cuteness to take over! Mom was on the couch when I opened the door, so I put the kitten on her.
“Can we keep her?” I asked.
My mom was hesitant, but she went upstairs to show my stepdad. I waited on the couch, and jumped up when she came back downstairs. Without the kitten.
“You should go ask if we can have the others. So we can find them all homes.”
I ran to their house to ask. I got a no, but I wasn’t too disappointed. I walked home slowly, thinking of what I could say to my mom. I didn’t come up with anything by the time I saw the house. I’d have to wing it. Maybe beg a little…
It has been four years since we got the kitten. We named her Willow because her fur is the color of the willow bark. She is very skittish—shehates having her face touched—and dainty. Sometimes, she is afraid of her own shadow. She has gotten much better than when we first got her. When I look into her icy blue eyes, I see fear and trust. She’ll never forget what was done to her as a kitten, but she also won’t forget that I was the one who saved her.
I’m glad we were able to keep her, even if we couldn’t save the others. I proved to myself that hard work really does pay off.