Argumentative Exemplar 3-3-2

Can you imagine having a chocolate bar in your pocket lead you to a grand discovery? Mistakes are key to discovery, without mistakes, we wouldn’t have microwaves or artifacts from the city of Troy. Plus, grand discoveries are worth a few little mess-ups. Making mistakes is a key part of making discoveries.

There is no doubt that without mistakes, we wouldn’t have microwaves, or at least the invention would have been set back. From the article, “How a Melted Bar of Chocolate Changed Our Kitchens,” it states, “standing near the magnetron one day while it was on, Spencer noticed that the bar of chocolate in his pocket melted. He had a moment of realization. He asked for popcorn kernels, and put them near the heat.” Spencer never meant to discover this; it was purely an accidental coincidence. Furthermore, it states “Then Percy Spencer discovered the magnatrons property for heating food. That one moment overshadowed many years of careful science.” This proves that one lucky mistake can be far more valuable than years of precise science, so mistakes are key to discovery.

It seems to me that without mistakes, we wouldn’t have artifacts from the city of troy. From the article, “Lost Cities, Lost Treasures,” “Yet both men discovered great things at the site: ancient axes, household items and jewels.” Without Schliemann’s mistakes of dishonesty and greed, and both the men’s carelessness they might not have found the artifacts. In addition, “Together they did prove that there had been an ancient city called Troy. The gold and other precious items they had found are now in the Pushkin museum in Moscow, Russia.” The city of Troy, and its many secrets might have never been discovered without the two men’s mistakes.

In other’s eyes, mistakes can be just that, mistakes, but Spencer, a man with no experiences of making mistakes continued to make them gladly! In the article, “How a Melted Bar of Chocolate changed our Kitchens,” it states in “everything he did from then on, Percy Spencer seemed to run towards a discovery and take the chance of mistake.” A grand discovery triumphs over mistakes and they are supporting argument from the same article is that “soon he was an equal with the smartest and best educated people in the United States.” One lucky mistake led him to fame and riches. Percy Spencer was far better off having made that mistake.

In conclusion, mistakes are key to discovery. My arguments supporting this claim are: with out mistakes we wouldn’t have microwaves or artifacts from the City of Troy. Plus, grand discoveries are worth a few mistakes. Now that you know my position on this argument, do you think mistakes are the key to discovery?

Notes:

  • Tone is too informal with “my” and “you” being used
  • Transitions are weak and rudimentary
  • Commentary in the second body paragraph is stronger than the first body paragraph (teachable moment in essay)
  • Weak counterclaim
  • This is an example of a low 3-3-2 and could be used in the classroom to show students that taking out pronouns and adding in analysis (WHY) can easily take this essay to a top score response