Are You a Giver or a Taker?
Mark 10:35-45
The Generous Life Series
January 24-25, 2015
Sermon Summary
There are many examples of “takers” in the world today—celebrities who make outrageous demands on others. Katy Perry, Kanye West just to name a few. According to author and Wharton University professor Adam Grant in his book entitled Give and Take, the world can be divided into these two distinct groupings. In today’s text found in Mark 10, Jesus says we should be givers!
What does a “taker” look like? For one, they are overly concerned with role and position—with their “title.” We are “takers” when we become upset if we aren’t given a certain title or we don’t hold a particular position. No one can take God’s calling from us if that is what we are truly concerned about.
A “taker” is also concerned with self-promotion. They use words like “I” and “my” rather than “we” or “you.” In a study of companies, it was discovered that the size of the president’s photo in the annual report was a good predictor of whether or not that company had problems. Case in point: Ken Lay, the CEO of Enron.
In contrast, “givers” see themselves as servants. We find numerous examples of people in the New Testament referring to themselves as servants. What does this mean? First of all, it means you see yourself on assignment—life is primarily about doing what God wants, not about what you want. Second, a servant is someone who tries to be helpful to others. Being helpful doesn’t mean you simply do what people want—it involves doing what’s best for people.
A “giver” is also someone who is willing to be inconvenienced—interrupted by the needs of others. A giver is someone who is willing to babysit kids when they are tired and just want to watch TV or they take their Saturday to help someone pack up their apartment and move. It’s not glorious or glamorous and it often feels like a waste of time.
A “giver” is also willing to sacrifice—to give of themselves in every way: time, energy, resources. Sacrifice is modeled throughout the New Testament, in the life of Jesus, the apostle Paul and so many others.
Finally, a “giver” is someone who has great impact. Contrary to popular belief, the people who gave the most of themselves for others, and didn’t just look out for #1, were the top performers and the most successful. This was because they were the most networked—the best connected to other people! They could be trusted and depended upon. This is true in the secular work place as much as it is true in our personal relationships and our spiritual lives.
Being givers just makes us better people!
I. What does a taker look like?
a. Takers are people who are concerned with titles and roles
b. Takers are people who are concerned with self-promotion
II. What does a giver look like?
a. Givers are people who are willing to be servants
b. Givers are people who are willing to be inconvenienced
c. Givers are people who are willing to sacrifice
d. Givers are people who have the greatest impact
Opening Questions for Discussion
1. From personal experience, describe someone in your life who was a “taker” and/or a “giver.” What characteristics, good or bad, stood out to you about this person/these people? What impact did they have on your life?
Passage for Study
Philippians 1:12-26
12Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters,that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.13As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guardand to everyone else that I am in chainsfor Christ.14And because of my chains,most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
15It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill.16The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel.17The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition,not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.18But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice,19for I know that through your prayersand God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christwhat has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.20I eagerly expectand hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courageso that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body,whether by life or by death.21For to me, to live is Christand to die is gain.22If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!23I am torn between the two: I desire to departand be with Christ,which is better by far;24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.25Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith,26so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.
Background and Context
It is believed that Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi was written while Paul was on house arrest in Rome (see Acts 28:14-31). He wrote it primarily to thank the church for their gift to him and to report on his work, but Paul uses the opportunity to also encourage them in their faithfulness to Christ. It is one of the most positive of Paul’s letters, with no corrections or rebukes. Instead, Paul encourages them in the Christian life: to live humbly, to persevere and press on towards the goal, to not worry or fret and to remember that they can do all things through God’s strength. The word “joy” is found in various forms 16 times—obviously an important theme in Paul’s mind. And Philippians 2:5-11 contains one of the most profound and eloquent descriptions of Jesus in the entire New Testament.
Study (Analysis and Dialogue)
(Read through the entire passage out loud—then break it down into sections and study each portion in order.)
1:12-14
1. What is Paul referring to when he writes about “what has happened to me?” How does Paul view his imprisonment? Does he think it is “good or bad?” (How do you think you would have viewed being in prison?) What does this tell you about Paul’s perspective on himself: his life, his rights, God’s purpose, etc? Paul was definitely a giver, viewing himself as a servant—on assignment from God. He viewed everything he went through as a way to help others know Christ or grow in Christ.
2. By writing “I want you to know, brothers [and sisters]…” Paul seems to be using these challenging circumstances as an opportunity to teach the church. What do you think he wants to the church to learn and understand? Paul certainly doesn’t want this church that loved him to be overly concerned for his well-being. But he also by example wanted to teach them how to live as followers of Jesus—how suffering for His sake had meaning, purpose and could actually be “good.” To “encourage,” which is what Paul is doing here, is to “put courage into” someone—in this case, courage to face hardships or opposition. That is so often what we need the most—not deliverance from circumstances but courage to go through circumstances.
3. Think of a time when you faced challenging circumstances. What was your perspective on your experience at the time? Did you view it as “positive or negative” and why? How do you view it now? In what ways can you see God’s purposes in it?
1:15-18a
4. What two types of gospel preachers does Paul refer to in this section? Compare and contrast them in your own words—how are they similar and how do they differ? In what ways are each “givers” or “takers?” There were some preachers in Paul’s day who had very bad motives—they were self-centered and spiteful. Note that Paul didn’t fault them for false teaching—apparently their message was sound. But their hearts were corrupt.
5. How did Paul handle the situation? What was his priority? How do you think you would have handled it? What does this tell you about the apostle Paul’s heart? How frustrating it may have been for Paul to be imprisoned and unable to defend himself or the gospel! If it were us, we may have wanted to silence these corrupt preachers or at least correct them, but Paul did not. He cared more about the proclamation of Christ than his own reputation—again, so characteristic of a giver.
6. Have you ever been hurt by someone else’s “words?” Perhaps they were envious of you and saw themselves in competition with you. They said things to make themselves look good and you look bad. Maybe what they said were outright lies. How did it make you feel and what did you do (or want to do)? How do you think the apostle Paul would counsel you in that situation?
1:18b-26
7. Why is Paul able to have the attitude he does in such trying circumstances? Why does he emphasize this with the Philippian church? What does he hope they learn and understand from his experience? Paul never claims that it is his own great strength, ability or courage that enables him to do what he does. It is always Christ: the help of His Spirit and the prayers of others on his behalf.
8. In this passage, Paul summarizes his most basic life philosophy. What is it? What do you think he means by this? Paul says he is “torn.” Why does he feel this way? In what ways is Paul a wonderful example of a “giver?” Like Christ who sacrificed Himself for us, Paul is willing to sacrifice even his own life for the sake of the gospel and welfare of believers. Here he is specifically willing to sacrifice what he views as better (to depart and be with Christ) in order to bring the most good to believers.
9. How do you think you will get to the place of being able to say the things Paul said—to have his same life philosophy? What are some of the life lessons you feel you may need to walk through before you are a “giver” like Paul—able to say and mean, “that Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death?”
Ministry and Prayer
After allowing time to wait on the Lord and listen to what the Holy Spirit may want to do in your group, lead a time of ministry and prayer.
There may be some in your group who are currently facing very hard circumstances. They may be struggling to see God’s purpose in their suffering and are far from having a “Paul-like/giver” attitude. Allow sharing and then take time to pray.
There may be some who have suffered spiritual abuse. They have been under the spiritual leadership of a “taker”—a pastor or leader who was not like Paul—who was self-centered and self-interested. This negative model can leave lasting scars in our lives and make it hard for us to trust sincere leaders who are “givers.” Take time to pray for healing, maybe even leading people in a time of forgiveness for and release of this negative leader to God.