Anniversary Weekends
The format of the Green Bay Anniversary Weekend is somewhat flexible. The flow of the talks (order in which they are given) and the topic of each presentation for Friday and Saturday are to remain the same. However, within the context of each talk outline the individual, team couple, religious and team as a whole can express some uniqueness by stressing or not stressing certain parts of each talk. Also the second part of "Prayer in Marriage" provides two options to choose from.
The order of talks on Sunday is still pretty flexible. Although certain topics need to be covered, there is room to add another topic if desired and it fits in the flow and purpose of the weekend. It is also possible to change the order of some of the talks on Sunday or the talks could be given as stated in the guidelines.
The reconciliation talks with past and partner are to remain as one talk and reconciliation with God is a topic that needs to be addressed and explored on Sunday. Another topic that needs to be shared on is visions and goals as a presentation by itself or part of another talk.
The Anniversary Weekend should end in the "We, God, and World," phase, which means reaching out and sharing our love needs to be presented as one of the last sharings on the weekend. The open and apostolic aspect of the weekend can be accomplished as a separate talk about reaching out or as part of the last presentation.
Since the need for having some type of family enrichment has been expressed many times throughout the years, a presentation centered on family was given on Sunday. Although this is not the only possible answer to the need for family enrichment, at least it's a start. Because most of us are part of family in one way or another, it seemed to be an important topic to include on the Anniversary Weekend. The format of the "Focus on Family" presentation is very flexible, leaving the topic to be covered up to each individual team and as long as the topic is appropriate to the weekend and relatable to the couples. We strongly urge the team to share on some aspect of family on Sunday.
Caution: When adding or moving around presentations on Sunday, remember to leave adequate time for at least one group sharing.
Extended Time for Personal Reflection and Dialog:
The time provided for reflection and dialog on a regular Marriage Encounter Weekend often seems inadequate. Since we are asking the couples to go deeper in order to discover and explore the origins of their feelings, more time for writing and dialog seemed to be required. In order to give extended time for the dialog process, the team will have to work hard at keeping the talks within the time restrictions - 20 to 30 minutes including the religious.
Opportunity for Small Group Sharings:
In addition to providing extended writing and dialog times, another objective of the Anniversary Weekend is to furnish four or five opportunities for small group sharings. This is a requirement on the anniversary experience. The growth and enrichment possible in a small group sharing setting would hopefully draw the couples together as a community and allow them to share the joys and struggles they are experiencing in discovering their Vivencia.
The sharing groups are kept small and informal in order to provide the opportunity for the couples to experience community without losing sight of their coupleness. There could be three or four small groups depending upon the number of people on the weekend. Each small group is guided by a team couple and/or clergy. Each team couple and clergy should have a list of questions to be used in guiding or if need be in stimulating the small group sharings. Guiding the small group sessions is an area that is necessary to explore and discuss thoroughly during team preparation.
After a busy week, getting the kids to a sitter, everything packed and getting themselves to the Anniversary Weekend, some of the couples might prefer to use Friday evening just to get in touch with their coupleness. So the Friday night group sharing is optional. However, the Saturday and Sunday group sharings are a required part of the weekend and are not optional.
Discipline:
The discipline needs to be strongly emphasized on Friday night. Discourage socializing and have the team set the example. Many of the couples will know each other and the temptation to visit with friends will probably be great. Be sensitive to those couples who didn't encounter in Green Bay. They might feel left out at times. Be aware that the discipline may need to be reviewed several times throughout the weekend. As the original weekend is primarily a couple experience, so too is the anniversary.
Prayer Letters:
Prayer is an essential part of all Marriage Encounter weekends, so prayer letters seem not only appropriate, but also necessary. We are asking the couples on the weekend to take many risks, and support from the community might be needed.
Each couple/religious receives one prayer letter from their specific prayer couple during the second part of the presentation "Prayer in Marriage."
Each prayer couple is asked to write their letter in the form of a prayer. Team needs to contact the couple who is handling the prayer letters for that weekend and be sure they ask those specific prayer couples to write their letters in prayer form.
Friend letters are slid under the room doors about 30 minutes after couples go up to their rooms to dialog with God. The M.E. community felt strongly about friend letters, so this should not be eliminated by team unless it is approved at the G.B. community night meetings.
Banners:
Using Engaged Encounter banners for some of the presentations is a nice touch to the weekend. Each team is responsible for contacting the Engaged Encounter executive couple and making arrangements to use them, if they wish to do so.
Closing Celebration:
The closing celebration is similar in many ways to the closing celebration at the end of a regular M.E. weekend. Scripture needs to be part of that closing celebration and the visions and goals prayers the couples were asked to write should also be included. Using the ecumenical service guidelines might give the team some ideas on what to do.
Closing:
As couples, we all experience community with our spouse and in a larger sense we become community with those whose lives we touch. It seemed essential that the Marriage Encounter community join us at the end of our closing celebration to share in our love and joy. The potluck closing is a special part of this weekend, too.
Team Preparation:
Since the team too is digging deeper just like the couples are asked to do, the amount of time needed to prepare for the Anniversary Weekend and the number of team meetings was more than normally used for a regular Marriage Encounter Weekend. We suggest setting up between 10 and 12 team meetings. They can be canceled if they are not needed. In order to discover the attitudes and other things that cause us to feel the way we do, time was needed as well as the encouragement and questioning from the other team members. Allow yourself enough time. It is strongly suggested that each team couple take one of the God talks. They are: You, God, and Me, Prayer in Marriage, and Reconciliation with God.
It is strongly recommended that experienced teams work the Anniversary Weekend.
Enjoy your time together as team for the Anniversary Weekend and Good Luck!
Miscellaneous Information:
There is usually no wedding cake for this weekend. At times our cake lady made small cakes that are served with the candlelight meal on Saturday evening at 5:15. It might be a good idea to check on this.
The feeling inventory for "Feelings and Beyond" is optional. The alternative is using the questions at the end of the talk.
The second part of "Prayer in Marriage" presentation given on Saturday evening has two options. Check them out and choose one to use for the weekend. Special candles have been given to each couple in the second part of "Prayer in Marriage." These are not the Cana candles - those are only used on regular weekends. The candles can be given out or couples can take one at the appropriate part in that talk.
At one time a complete set of outlines for all the talks was available from Green Bay Marriage Encounter.
Anniversary Theme Weekend
Hawaii Interfaith Marriage Encounter
Anniversary Weekend Schedule
February 12-13, 1994
“Dare to Dream”
Saturday Morning
7:00-8:00 Breakfast/Check In/Greetings
8:00-8:15 Introduction - Sharing Heart to Heart
8:15-8:45 Self
8:45-9:00 Reflection
9:00-9:15 Dialog
9:15-9:45 Open Sharing
9:45-9:55 Break
9:55-10:25 Marriage
10:25-10:40 Reflection
10:40-10:55 Dialog
10:55-11:20 Open Sharing
11:20-11:30 Break Prior to Lunch
11:30-12:45 Lunch
Saturday Afternoon
1:00-1:30 Vitality
1:30-1:45 Reflection
1:45-2:00 Dialog
2:00-2:30 Open Sharing
2:30-2:40 Break
2:40-3:10 Spirituality
3:10-3:25 Reflection
3:25-3:40 Dialog
3:40-4:00 Open Sharing
4:00-4:10 Break
4:10-4:40 Changes You Can Control
4:40-4:55 Reflection
4:55-5:10 Dialog
5:10-5:35 Open Sharing
5:35-5:50 Break Prior to Dinner
Saturday Evening
5:50-7:00 Dinner
7:00-7:30 Changes You Cannot Control
7:30-7:45 Reflection
7:45-8:00 Dialog
8:00-8:25 Open Sharing
8:25-8:30 Break
Note: Give out heart pillows and explain process
8:30-9:00 Service
Sunday Morning
7:00-7:45 Morning Service
7:45-9:00 Breakfast
9:00-9:30 Peace At What Price - “To Dream the Impossible
Dream”
9:30-10:30 Reflection
10:30-11:30 Dialog
11:30-12:00 Open Sharing
Sunday Afternoon
12:00-1:15 Lunch
1:15-2:00 Intimacy
2:00-2:30 Reflection
2:30-3:00 Dialog
3:00-3:30 Open Sharing
3:30-4:00 Greeting/Reuniting With Prayer Couple
WE ALL MOVE TO OUTSIDE TO LAWN AREA
4:00-(Max. 5:00) Closing
Open Sharing on Word and /or individual sharing.
Presenting Couples: All Couples
You each received a “FEELING WORD” pertaining to avenues to peace. Please share what this word means to you or any other word you chose. We invite you to attach your word to God’s umbrella as a symbol of what you could personally do to bring about peace in your family spiraling out to the world.
Other theme weekend ideas are available from the Golden West trustees on the National Executive Board.
Anniversary Weekend - Napa Style
Friday: Opening Celebration and Prayer Service
8:00 p.m. Start
10:00 Couples go home at end
Saturday: Minutes Schedule
7:45 a.m. Arrive
8:00 15 Coffee/rolls
8:15 35 Opening Prayer; Introduction/Theme: Openness
8:50 30 Group Sharing
9:20 10 Reflection
9:30 10 Dialog
9:40 10 Break
9:50 30 Openness to Self
10:20 20 Group Sharing
11:00 30 Reflection
11:30 30 Dialog
12:00 60 LUNCH
1:00 p.m. 30 Openness to Each Other
1:30 30 Group Sharing
2:00 30 Reflection
2:30 30 Dialog
3:00 30 Break
3:30 30 Openness and the Modern World
4:00 30 Group Sharing
4:30 30 Reflection
5:00 30 Dialog
5:30 30 Break
6:00 90 DINNER AND CLEAN UP
7:30 30 Openness to Sexuality
8:00 30 Group Sharing
8:30 20 Reflection
8:50 20 Dialog
9:10 10 Break and set up
9:20 60 Evening Service
Foot Washing Ceremony
Reconciliation
Dedication of Hands
10:45 Home to sleep
Sunday Minutes Schedule
7:45 a.m. Arrive
8:00 40 Worship Service/Mass
8:40 20 Breakfast rolls/coffee
9:00 30 Openness to Spirituality
9:30 30 Group Sharing
10:00 60 Reflection
11:00 60 Dialog
12:00 60 LUNCH
1:00 p.m. 20 Money Talk
1:20 30 Openness Beyond Each Other
1:50 30 Group Sharing
2:20 30 Reflection
2:50 30 Dialog
3:20 10 Break
3:30 90 Closing Ceremony
Wedding vows
Anointing of hands with oil
Open Sharing
Ending Song
5:30 Agape Community Reception
8:00 Finished
Group Sharing Questions and Couple Dialog Questions
1. Openness: Introduction
Sharing Question: What was a pleasant experience that we had recently as a couple?
Dialog Question: How do I feel about us right now?
2. Openness to Self
Sharing Question: How has my self-image or Vivencia changed since Marriage Encounter?
Dialog Question: What masks do I wear that allow me to hide myself from you and how do I feel behind them?
3. Openness to Each Other
Sharing Question: When do most of our misunderstandings occur?
Dialog Question: How am I open to you when conflict or crisis enters our lives?
4. Openness and the Modern World
Sharing Question: What are some of the outside pressures in our modern world which influence our marriage and how do they affect our relationship?
Dialog Questions: When was the last time I was disillusioned in our marriage?
What attitudes or expectations brought me there?
How was I able to make the decision to love?
5. Openness and Sexuality in Marriage
Sharing Question: In what ways have advertising, the media, and even the church created anxieties in our sexual relationship?
Dialog Questions: What blocks better communication between us about our sexual needs?
To what extent does my need to perform influence my sexual behavior?
6. Openness to Spirituality in our Marriage
Sharing Question: What does spirituality in our marriage mean to me?
Dialog Questions: What are the three events of our married life that have united us the most?
Have I experienced God’s presence and influence in our marriage? How?
What are my visions, dreams, and hopes for us?
7. Openness Beyond Each Other
Sharing Question: What is the greatest discovery we made this weekend?
Dialog Questions: What resolutions do I want to make from this weekend for ourselves? For our family? For our community?
Outlines for these talks are available upon request from Golden West trustees on National Executive Board. Other theme weekend ideas are also available upon request from Golden West trustee