ELF BLOCK TANGO
And now, the six merry elves of the Ginger Bread Jail
In their rendition of 'The elf Cell Block Tango'! (workshop tango)
[Women]
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!
He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!
[1, spoken]
You know how people like those annoying toys Like..the Jack in the Box! Well Santa loved giving out them to all the (whiney) “good boys and girls” and he loved how they go Pop!
So, I come to the workshop one morning and I'm really irritated and I see Santa Lying' on the couch, drinking milk and playing with that toy. Not just playing , POPPING!
So, I said to him, I said "You pop that jack one more time…"
And he did. So I took the milk off the table and dumped it right onto his head!
[1 and others]
He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[2, spoken]
I met Rudolph the red nose reindeer about two years ago and he told me I was his favorite elf. We bonded over being different So, we started playing reindeer games together. He'd go to work, he'd fly home, and we’d play Christmas monopoly
Then I found out, I wasn’t the only elf. Ya ok! Not only did he play with sandy oh no. He had SIX favorites; one of those silly reindeers, you know?
So that night, when he came home from work, I set up the board game as usual…
You know, some people just can’t handle losing.
[2 and others]
He had it coming, he had it coming
He lost the best elf of his time!
And then he said it; and he regret it
It was a problem, but not a crime!
[3, spoken]
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the Ham for Christmas dinner, minding my own business, and in storms Santa acting like he owns the place
"You been messing with the candy canes!" he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screaming, "Now they are red and blue, BLUE!”
And he ran out and got frostbite
He got frostbite on TEN fingers.
[3]
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[4, spoken fast while crying]
So I walk into Santas workshop 15 minutes early, because I’m elf of the month and all I want to do is make every Christmas the best Christmas for every good girl and boy. Right as I walk in I see that everything is a huge mess! So I try to clean it up real fast so Santa doesn’t get mad. (deep inhale) But he got mad anyways.
[3]
But did you do it?
[4]
Uh uh, not guilty!
[5, spoken]
My elf sister, Veronica and I had this secret cookie recipe. And my husband, Charlie, helped us make it. During the last few minutes of the day, we did 20 batches in a row--one two three four five, marshmellow, chocolate, cookie crumble one right after the other! Well, this batch required just a little more sugar so before Mr. Cicero picked up his order I went to the store to get supplies. And when I came back I opened the door and
There's Veronica and Charlie running off with the recipe
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the chocolate off my hands when Santa barged in…
[5]
They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it, but if I done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it, but if I done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
[6, spoken]
I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I could possibly say. He was a real stand-up elf, sensitive, star toy maker. But he was always trying to get to the top of the nice list. He'd always stay late trying to invent the hottest new toy, until one night he found- the new iphone. Now all the kids don’t need our etcha sketches.
I guess you can say we broke up because of work differences. He saw himself as tech savvy, but I just had to pull the plug.
[Women]
The dirty bum bumbumbumbum!
Ruined Christmas fun funfunfunfun!
They had it coming, they had it coming
They had it coming all along!
'Cause if they hate us, infuriate us
How could they tell us that we were wrong?
He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same--
[Spoken lines all overlapping]
You pop that jack one more time--
Ya ok Rudolph--
Ten fingers--
I love my job I didn’t do it!
My secret recipe all gone!
Work differences—
[Women]
I betcha you would have done the same!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!