Conceptual Yoga: Marriage

Gaining Flexibility of Mind

and Critical Thinking Ability.

Conceptual yoga is the exercise of adopting opposite or complimentary ideas in order to experience a fuller understanding and explore a larger range of conceptual options. This allows for more choices and thus more freedom in thought. This larger degree of freedom is the basis of creative and critical thinking.

In order to criticize or evaluate ideas we must first have some ideas. This is why critical thinking (evaluating an idea or plan of action relative to a particular moment or situation) depends on creative thinking. This is why brainstorming (gathering or giving birth to a number of ideas) is the first step in our process. Flexibility is crucial in this phase of thinking. Once we evaluate and choose an idea or course of action we can become more focused and firm as we put our plan or idea into action.

(Hegel’s model for the evolution of thought is thesis leads to antithesis, which leads to a new synthesis.)

Exercise One: Marriage.

Explain the following quote and argue in its favor. Understand that your job is to take the most extreme positive position on this issue. (Forget for a little while your habitual or everyday positions on this question.) You are 100% in favor of this idea. You are 100% pro this idea. (“Pro” equals “for” and “con” equals “against”. People often talk about the pros and cons of an idea or course of action. “What are the pros and cons?”):

“Marriage is the most wonderful and sacred thing in the world.”

To begin, brainstorm some reasons why this is true. Remember you are like a lawyer who advocates marriage and wants to persuade others of its merits. (In English we have the idiom “Play the devil’s advocate.” This means you argue for a position that you don’t really agree with or that you think is bad.)

Examples:

When you get married you get to have a big party and people give you lots of big presents like a house or apartment, a car, furniture etc.

Marriage combines the wealth of two people and makes for more prosperous and efficient living.

When you are married people begin to consider you to be a grown up.

Marriage can teach us how to get along with another person who is different than we are. This teaches tolerance and consideration.

We are asked to face new challenges and take on new responsibilities. This helps us to become more mature.

Lovers become a family. Their love takes a more tangible form.

Being married gives us a lifelong partner. This provides security in hard times and allows us to have support in raising children.

Marriage is the image of the universe, a microcosm of the macrocosm.

Marriage is the beginning of a supportive family for nurturing new lives.

Marriage gives us the human contact, touch and love that we need by nature.

Marriage helps us through tough times and difficulties.

Marriage provides structure and stability for a community and a nation.

Related Quotes:

“Love and marriage, love and marriage, they go together like a horse and carriage.”

“First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes baby in a baby carriage.”

Next will give a short speech where we advocate for a very positive view on marriage.

Begin your speech this way:

Good morning/afternoon/evening! I would like to speak to you today about a great source of joy and human happiness. I’m talking about, of course, the institution of marriage. There are many reasons why marriage should be encouraged and appreciated. For example,…

Now we will assume the complimentary/opposite conceptual position.

Explain the following quote and argue in its favor:

“Marriage is a terrible institution that leads to great human suffering. We should never get married and the government should abolish marriage.”

To begin, brainstorm some reasons why this is true. You are now 100% negative on marriage. You are 100% con or against marriage.

Examples:

Marriage separates us from our families, and forces us into relationships with strangers even asking us to treat them as our own mother and father.

Weddings can cost a lot of money.

Marriage often leads to having to run our own households and this means more duties and responsibilities.

If we have different jobs, hobbies, interests and ideas, we may not have a lot to talk about with our spouses.

Marriage destroys spontaneity and asks us to pre-program and control our feelings of love for an entire lifetime. This is like locking up the heart in the box of the mind.

Marriage destroys freedom. If we promise to limit our loving for an entire lifetime, how can we consider ourselves to be “free” in any important sense of the word.

Marriage destroys integrity. In our minds and hearts we may not love our spouses at all, but marriage asks us to pretend that we do. This violates the connection between our inner and outer lives and leads to dishonesty and suffering.

Marriage creates a scarcity economy of love. Instead of loving in a natural and spontaneous way, our love is locked up like treasure in a box and only given out in very socially limited ways.

Marriage is not necessary for making children. In fact, children who are the fruit of love that is freely given are often more beautiful and talented than children who are created out of social obligation.

Matriarchal societies often function without long term marriage. Women are the centers of the family and control the households. Husbands come and go depending on the wife’s will. For example, the Hopi people (a Native American people) were free to live together and then separate depending on their feelings and desires.

Related quotes:

“Two people who love each other should never live together or they will end up either falling out of love or driving each other crazy.”

“Marriage is the tomb of love.”

“Marriage is like a city under siege: The people on the outside want to get in and the people on the inside want to get out.”

Next will give a short speech where we advocate for a very negative view on marriage.

Begin your speech this way:

Good morning/afternoon/evening! I would like to speak to you today about a great threat to human happiness. I’m talking about, of course, the institution of marriage. There are many reasons why marriage should be avoided and abolished. For example,…

Next Step or Homework:

You have argued for a thesis (an idea) and an antithesis (its opposite or compliment). Now you will create a speech which expresses your own opinion of marriage. This speech will include what you consider to be the most important negative and positive aspects of marriage. Your evaluation of importance will now be relative to your point of view and relative to your actual life situation.

Your speech will also include your advice to individuals and social leaders in regards to marriage. This informative and persuasive speech should last about three minutes.

Example of the Speech Opening:

Good morning/afternoon/evening! I’mvery honored to have the opportunity to speak to you today about marriage. As you know, marriage is a very important institution in our society today. Like all institutions, marriage has advantages and disadvantages. For example, ...

Interactive Debate Task:

Now we will debate this question with a partner. One person will argue pro and the other con. After five minutes we will change roles by assuming the opposite or complimentary conceptual position.