After Visiting and Meeting Community Helpers Including Firemen, Policemen, and Doctors
After visiting and meeting community helpers including firemen, policemen, and doctors, now it is time for you to think about what you would like to be when you grow up and how you might be a community helper. Watch this YouTube video: Choose one of the careers discussed in the video that you might want to be when you grow up.
Following the five steps of writing: Prewriting, Drafting, Revising, Proofreading, and Publishing, write a four paragraph essay about the way you will be a community helper when you grow up.
PREWRITING: Watch the YouTube video and choose which job you would like to have. Write down three facts about that job.
DRAFTING: Write a four paragraph essay using Microsoft Word. The introduction paragraph should explain what a community helper is. The first body paragraph should tell us what job you want to have and what someone with that job does. The second body paragraph should explain how a person with that job is a community helper. The conclusion should tell us what made you choose that job.
REVISING: Reread what you wrote. Use Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” and “New Comment” under the Review tab when revising. Reword sentences so they are clearer. Add and take out words where needed. After you revise your essay trade with a classmate and have them revise your essay using the same Microsoft Word functions.**
PROOFREADING: Fix any errors in grammar and spelling. Make sure to use complete sentences and correct capitalization and punctuation.
PUBLISHING: Print your essay and turn it in to the teacher.
**Attached is an example of how and when to use Track Changes and New Comment.
Community Helpers Essay Rubric
PREWRITING / Poor (1) / Fair (2) / Good (3) / Excellent (4)Choose a job / Did not choose a job from the provided video / n/a / n/a / Chose a job from the provided video
Write down 3 facts. / Did not write down any accurate facts OR facts were missing. / Wrote one accurate fact and 2 incorrect facts. / Wrote 2 accurate facts and one incorrect fact. / Wrote 3 accurate facts about the career.
DRAFTING / Poor (1) / Fair (2) / Good (3) / Excellent (4)
Write a four paragraph essay using Microsoft Word. / Wrote a 1 paragraph essay in Microsoft Word / Wrote a 2 paragraph essay in Microsoft Word / Wrote a 3 paragraph essay in Microsoft Word / Wrote a 4 paragraph essay in Microsoft Word
The introduction paragraph should explain what a community helper is. / Introduction paragraph does not explain what a community helper is / Introduction paragraph hardly explains what a community helper is. / Introduction paragraph partially explains what a community helper is. / Introduction paragraph accurately explains what a community helper is.
The first body paragraph should tell us what job you want to have and what someone with that job does. / The first body paragraph does not tell what job you want to have but does not explain what someone with that job does. / The first body paragraph tells what job you want to have but does not explain what someone with that job does. / The first body paragraph tells what job you want to have but does not clearly explain what someone with that job does. / The first body paragraph explicitly tells what job you want to have and what someone with that job does.
The second body paragraph should explain how a person with that job is a community helper. / The second body paragraph does not explain how a person with that job is a community helper. / The second body paragraph incorrectly explains how a person with that job is a community helper. / The second body paragraph somewhat explains how a person with that job is a community helper. / The second body paragraph clearly explains how a person with that job is a community helper.
The conclusion should tell us what made you choose that job. / The conclusion does not explain what made you choose that job. / The conclusion incorrectly explains what made you choose that job. / The conclusion somewhat explains what made you choose that job. / The conclusion explains what made you choose that job.
REVISING / Poor (1) / Fair (2) / Good (3) / Excellent (4)
Use Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” and “New Comment” under the Review tab when revising. / Did not use Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” and “New Comment” under the Review tab correctly when revising. / Incorrectly used Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” and “New Comment” under the Review tab correctly when revising. / Attempted to use Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” and “New Comment” under the Review tab correctly when revising. / Used Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” and “New Comment” under the Review tab correctly when revising.
Reword sentences so they are clearer. Add and take out words where needed. / Sentences are still unclear and poor use of language. / Revised few sentences and did not appropriately use words where needed. / Revised some sentences and appropriately used words where needed. / Used clearly worded sentences and appropriately used words where needed.
After you revise your essay trade with a classmate and have them revise your essay using the same Microsoft Word functions. / Did not trade essays with a classmate, or did not peer edit classmate’s essay using Track Changes and New Comment. / n/a / n/a / Traded essays with a classmate. Peer edited your classmate’s essay using Track Changes and New Comment.
PROOFREADING / Poor (1) / Fair (2) / Good (3) / Excellent (4)
Fix any errors in grammar and spelling. / More than 5 errors per paragraph in grammar or spelling. / Many errors in grammar or spelling. / Few errors in grammar or spelling. / No errors in grammar or spelling.
Make sure to use complete sentences and correct capitalization and punctuation. / Essay was difficult to read and comprehend due to many errors in sentence structure, capitalization, or punctuation. / Used a many examples of incomplete sentences or incorrect capitalization or punctuation. / Used a few examples of incomplete sentences or incorrect capitalization or punctuation. / Used all complete sentences and correct capitalization and punctuation.
PUBLISHING / Poor (1) / Fair (2) / Good (3) / Excellent(4)
Print your essay and turn it in to the teacher. / Essay was hand written and turned in one day late OR essay was printed and turned in 3 days late. / Essay was hand written OR Essay was printed and turned in 2 days late. / Essay was printed and turned in one day late. / Essay was printed and turned in on time.
TOTAL:______/52
This is an example of how to use Track Changes and New Comment. When you edit your paper or your partner’s paper please use both features of Microsoft Office. Your paragraphs should be at least eight[B1] sentences each in length. To use Trackh Changes or New Comment go to the Review tab at the top of the screen, click on the tool you want to use, and begin editing. Track Changes will leave red marks where you edited the paper. and New Comment [B2]will allow you to leave helpful ideas and constructive criticisms forof the author of the paper. If you have any questions about how to use either of these features properly please email me at or see me in classbefore or after school and I can show you. Both of these tools will be very useful to you when editing your papers in the future, too.
[B1]This is because you are eight years old so you should be able to write eight sentences per paragraph.
[B2]When you click on New Comment in the Review toolbar, a red box like this one will appear. You can write your comments in these red boxes. New Comment will highlight the word nearest to your curser as well.