Accountability: Helping Others Live Godly Lives

Accountability: Helping Others Live Godly Lives

Becky Beane

In prison ministry, one issue that consistently arises is the need for accountability—helping prisoners or ex-prisoners take responsibility for their thoughts, choices, and actions. Ultimately, we want to help them bring everything into trusting submission to Christ and increasingly show evidence of the fruit of the Spirit in their lives.

All Christians need an accountability partner or partners to help them grow and stay true to Christ and His teachings. David had Jonathan (who “helped him find strength in God,” 1 Samuel 23:16). Paul had Barnabas. Timothy had Paul.

Despite our tendency to want to do things on our own, God designed us to grow strong and mature with the help of others.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

“And we urge you brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

The Importance of Trust

Accountability, however, needs to be grounded in a relationship of trust and grace. Whether it’s a part of a mentoring relationship or a peer support group, self-disclosure is difficult unless we can trust that the other person really cares for us and is not there to judge us but to help sharpen us.

That’s why humility is such an important part of an accountability relationship. And this is true not only for the person being held accountable, but only for the person holding the other accountable (like a mentor).

Jesus taught: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? . . . First take the plank of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 5:3-5).

Note that Jesus says when you take the plank out of your own eye, you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. We are not simply to judge the speck or punish the person for having the speck. But we are to help remove the speck so that the other person can see more clearly, think more clearly, and act in healthier ways.

How Do We Hold Others Accountable?

Many Christian authors have come up with “accountability questions” to prompt honest self-examination and self-disclosure. Arguably, none of the lists is any better than that of John Wesley, the eighteenth-century founder of Methodism.

Wesley led the “Holy Club”—a band of OxfordUniversity students seriously dedicated to living lives of holiness and service to God and to others. Along with Bible study, fasting, and prayer, the participants were committed to bringing their lives under honest review.

Wesley’s self-examination questions still stand the test of time. We recommend using these questions to foster accountability and growth.

Wesley’s Accountability Questions

Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told to me in confidence?
Can I be trusted?
Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habits?
Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
Did the Bible live in me today?
Do I give it time to speak to me every day?
Am I enjoying prayer?
When did I last speak to someone else of my faith?
Do I pray about the money I spend?
Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
Do I disobey God in anything?
Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
Am I defeated in any part of my life?
Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
How do I spend my spare time?
Am I proud?
Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisee who despised the Publican?
Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
Do I grumble or complain constantly?
Is Christ real to me?

More contemporary accountability lists, particularly for men, usually include one or more questions specifically about sex. For example: Have I touched or looked at a woman inappropriately? Have I viewed or read sexually explicit material?

And many authors recommend endingany list with the question: “Have I just lied to you about anything?”We all have a tendency to want to hide our sin and mistakes. This question accentuates the need for truth, if we truly want to find freedom from sin and grow in our relationship with God and with others.

For other examples of accountability questions to help guide your times of examination and discussion, check out these links:

Men of Integrity

Life Transformation Group