11
Titanic 2001
- a story about four rats -
This is a story about four rats.
Three of the rats - Lady Diana, Francois and Diana’s maid Mary - are at the port of Southampton. They are standing in a big crowd of people with their luggage in front of the new Titanic. They want to travel to Australia because in Britain there are so many cats and it’s not like that there. So they hope for a better life in Australia.
At the moment they are waiting for Gorest Fump, Maid Mary’s younger brother.
A few minutes later he arrives.
Maid Mary: Gorest! Why are you so late? Where have you been??
We’ve been waiting for you for ages, you idiot!!!
Gorest Fump (grins at her): Oh, I’m sorry, but I had to have a wee.
Maid Mary: Did you fall into...
Francois: C’est toujours la même histoire avec vous! Come on, let’s hurry up!!
We have to go on board.
Diana, ma chérie, shall I carry your luggage?
Lady Diana: Oh yes, darling. Thank you very much!
Gorest Fump: Oh boy! Where are the stupid tickets???
We have to know where our cabin suite is !
Maid Mary (nervously) : As if we didn’t know it! Now look for the tickets, otherwise I’ll
throw you overboard!!!!
Lady Diana: Open your eyes Gorest! The tickets are right in your hands!!
Francois: Gorest, that’s typical of you!
Alors, allez avec moi, I will show you the way.
They go through the corridors of the ship until they finally arrive at their cabin suite in the first class section, where they get into a mouse hole.
Lady Diana (appalled) : Oh, no. Is this really first class??? I’m not sure at all!
Maid Mary (worried) : Well, my Lady. Certainly it could be a little bit better and nothing
is good enough for you, but perhaps it will seem better if I prepare
you a beauty-mask!
Gorest Fump (shouts) : Oh, damn!!! I have fallen over a lead – oh, listen!!!!
(loud techno music)
Francois (annoyed): Gorest!!!!!!!!!!! Nice to see that this stereo unit pleases you, but you’re
not alone here! So, please, turn off the music; that awful music!!!!!
Gorest Fump: Huh?????
(silence)
Francois: That’s better.
In the evening they go to the Dining Saloon.
Maid Mary: Isn’t it wonderful??? Look at those tables over there. I have never seen so
much food before!!
Lady Diana: Wow, it’s incredible, isn’t it?? Do you see those women’s dresses everywhere?
And they are wearing such beautiful shoes, aren’t they???
(suddenly there is silence)
Captain: Ladies and gentleman, my name is Captain Smith.
Welcome on board!
This is the first voyage of the new Titanic!
You can be sure that this ship is the safest ship in the whole world.
It is true, it’s like the old Titanic. But its technical capabilities are much better
than in the past.
This Titanic is really unsinkable.
Here is some information:
the Titanic was built in Belfast and is a ship
belonging to the Black Star Line Company.
The new Black Star Line Titanic is by far the largest vessel ever built.
It is about 902 feet in length, 104 feet in the beam, 109 feet deep
(from keel to boat deck) and it weighs about 51,000 tons.
There are 40 water-tight compartments which provide accommodation
for 3,100 passengers.
The Titanic’s engines of 100,000 horse power will propel
the ship at a speed of 44 knots.
We are on a voyage to Australia. So we will have to sail for about 2½ weeks.
Our next stopover will be Brest in France.
We will reach the port this evening.
I wish you a very nice stay on board and a good time with our different recreational
facilities. I think we will see each other again soon.
If you have any questions, please ask one of the crew.
They will help you gladly!
Francois: Ah, Brest, c’est magnifique! I’ve friends there.
Lady Diana: Oh, it’s fantastic! Perhaps we’ll invite them to our cabin suite!
Francois: Pardon, I didn’t get it. What did you say, Honey??
Lady Diana: I said that it was fantastic and that we could invite them to our cabin suite
perhaps.
Francois: That’s a nice idea, Diana!
(an hour later)
Gorest has drunk a bit too much wine.
Suddenly he rushes on deck.
His sister Mary follows him in order to see what he wants to do.
Maid Mary (shocked): Aaaaah, Gorest!!!!!
What are you going to do??????
Why are you sitting below the deck rail????
Are you crazy? Oh sorry, I’ve forgotten that you are, of course!!
Gorest’s sister Mary pulls him back. But he protests angrily.
Gorest Fump: Hey, what are you doing?
I wanted to jump overboard!
Maid Mary: But why???
Gorest Fump: I wanted to look for French people!
Maid Mary: Do what you want to do...
She leaves him alone and hurries back to the others because of the icy cold night.
(the next day)
In the morning Francois comes to Diana’s room in order to wake her up with a wonderful breakfast.
Francois: Good morning, Honey!
Lady Diana (yawning): Oh, good morning Francois! Why are you
waking me up so early?
Francois: I must tell you something very important.
Lady Diana (joking): I can imagine: Gorest has jumped overboard, the ship is just sinking,
there’s a fire on board or something like that, ha ha...
Francois: No, it’s not that.
Lady Diana: So tell me, what’s the matter?
Francois: Diana, er... you know...er... - no!
Do you... er... – well, okay!
Diana, chérie, I love you. You’re like the sun for me. With you it’s like
living in paradise. I would like to be walking on air with you. I can’t live
without you any more. I love you! Do you...
Lady Diana: Francois! Don’t say anything else: Yes, I want to marry you!!
Francois: Oh what???? Oh là là, you’ve got it wrong!!! I ain’t thinking of marriage yet!!!!!!
I just wanted to know if you love me, too!!
Lady Diana: Ooops, er, of course. Excuse me. Er, er, yes, I love you, too.
The big ship has a stopover in Brest.
The four rats meet three other French ones who want to come on board in order to leave France and to visit their family in Australia.
Francois knows them already.
After he has given them a warm welcome he introduces them to Mary, Gorest and Diana.
Francois: Well, these are my good friends I’ve already told you about.
This is Antoine. He has a big pleasant-smelling perfume shop in a French
department store, isn’t that right?
Antoine: That’s absolutely right.
Francois: He has a good nose for really choice fragrances. Take my word for it!
Antoine (becomes red): Stop exaggerating!
Francois: Ha ha, but now I want to go on. This is Brigitte. A delicious restaurant belongs to
her in which you can eat the most exquisite cheese in the world.
Brigitte: Merci beaucoup...
Francois: Et enfin voilà, la petite Véronique!
Oh boy, (Gorest thinks) incredible, this long blonde hair, these soft blue eyes. She looks indescribably beautiful....
Véronique is Brigitte’s younger sister. She isn’t really small but everyone calls her ‘little’ and ‘sweet’. She hates that. But anyway Gorest falls in love with her at once.
It is love at first sight for him.
Maid Mary (shouts angrily): Gorest!!
Gorest!!!!
Gorest!!!!!!!!!!
What’s wrong with you?
You’re as thick as two short planks!!
Come on, let’s go! It’s dinnertime, blockhead!
Gorest Fump: It takes one to recognize one!
And finally they have finished their squabble and are allowed to have dinner.
Dinner was fantastic.
The hors d’oeuvre offered a wide choice of tropical fruit.
The main part of the meal had eight courses and for dessert there were hundreds of different-tasting plum puddings.
After dinner the rats still want to have a little talk.
But Véronique goes out onto the deck.
She just wants to get some fresh air.
Gorest thinks immediately that this is his chance.
So he follows her at once with two glasses of wine in his hands.
He stops her.
Gorest Fump: Véronique! Uuuaaahhh.....
(and –bang-)
What a mishap! Gorest has tripped over his own feet and Véronique’s white skirt has been changed into a dark red one by the wine...
Gorest Fump (ashamed): Oh sorry! How stupid! I’m a fool!!
Véronique: No, never mind! You’re no fool. It doesn’t matter!
Gorest Fump: How can I make it up to you??
Véronique: I said it didn’t matter.
Gorest Fump: You don’t expect me to believe that, do you???
Véronique: Don’t worry! It’s forgotten.
Gorest Fump: Puuuh, but...
Véronique: I swear by all that is holy!
Gorest Fump: Well, good. But now you should put on something else.
Véronique: Yes. I’ll go up to my room.
It’s April 14th.
The Titanic is just passing the Cape of Good Hope.
The four rats are enjoying the wonderful sunset.
Gorest Fump: Did you hear that?
There was a very strange noise.
Maid Mary: Oh Gorest! Have you gone mad again??
(-Crrrrr- Bang-)
(-Siren-)
(A few minutes later)
Captain: This is the Captain speaking.
We have just hit a reef.
Please don’t panic!
We are going to stop at the next port.
And everything seems to be all right again.
Half an hour later the siren sounds again.
But this time the Captain advises the passengers to get into the lifeboats.
Suddenly everybody begins to panic.
Eight water-tight compartments have been flooded but the Titanic can only go on with six full water-tight compartments.
So does this mean that a lot of passengers will have to die?
It is the next morning after the big disaster.
The four rats cannot believe what has happened.
They take deep breaths of the morning air.
It is so icy and cold.
Lady Diana has fainted.
Maid Mary: My God! It’s so dreadful!
Francois: Just think of all the people who died. It’s terrible!
And we stupid rats, we’re still alive.
It’s not a very pleasant feeling.
Maid Mary: And the other rats, our friends, they are in heaven now.
It’s so unfair!
Gorest Fump (crying): Oh, oh, oh!!! My Véronique!!!
She’s probably gone forever! I was on cloud nine with her.
And now – what shall I do now???
It’ll never be the same again. I loved her. She was my big love!
But now – now it’s over... (crying)...
Maid Mary: What shall we do now? Shall we float around on this raft till the end of time???
It’s impossible ever to reach shore!
I have a feeling we’re not going to make it...
Gorest Fump (still crying terribly): Véronique!! Why did she have to die?????
Maid Mary: Gorest, don’t cry! You can’t change anything! It’s not your fault.
Lady Diana (has just woken up): Oh, where am I?? What has happened???
Gorest Fump (he’s fed up): You fainted when the Titanic sank. We are on a little piece of
wood somewhere on the wide ocean. We haven’t got much water
to drink and there is no chance of surviving.
Look, there’s a shark!
Lady Diana: Aaah... (faints again at once)...
Francois: Darling, Darling! Wake up!
Gorest you’re stupid. How can you frighten her so?
Maid Mary: Francois, leave her alone! I’m sure she’ll wake up without your help!
(A few weeks later)
The rats are weak and don’t want to live any more. They have no drinking water
and want to die.
Maid Mary: Hey, hey!
Wake up!!
Do you see that???
Look!!!!!
Lady Diana: What?
Maid Mary: There are three seagulls!!!!
Look!!!!!
Francois: Yes!! That means that there is land nearby!!!!!!!!
We’re going to be rescued!
Gorest Fump (happily): Yahoo!! We’re going to survive! (Jumps up and down)
Francois: Sit down, Gorest. Do you want us to capsize?!?
The End
Written by: Franziska Bietenbeck, Patricia Peterek, Christina Syring and David Webb