A Few Thoughts As You Plan Your Wedding Liturgy

A few thoughts as you plan your wedding liturgy at St. Isidore Church, Stow, MA

Wedding Mass or Wedding Ceremony

This is an important decision that should be made at the outset.

Generally, the critical factor in this decision is participation in the Eucharist. When the bride and the groom are both practicing Catholics and when most of the guests would be at home in the liturgy of Mass, it would generally be best to plan on a Wedding Mass. Where this is not the case, it is best to plan on a Wedding Ceremony. In either case, the proper phrasing in the invitation will help the guests in preparing.

Church offering

There is a $100 donation asked from parishioners of the parish for the use of the church in the celebration of marriage. We also recognize, however, and appreciate the desire of many to make more of an offering.

In response to the question of what to offer, the spirit of the gospel suggests tithing. As bride and groom host a wedding banquet for their guests, it is good to remember to feed the poor. Thus a tithe of what is spent for the wedding banquet might be given – to the church, to charity, to a food shelter – or to a combination.

Visitors from other parishes

When neither bride nor groom is a member of the parish, with the permission of the pastor of the bride or groom, we will try to accommodate visiting couples. This permission should be arranged at the outset. An advance donation of $500 requested to cover clerical, counseling and custodial costs is to be made when registering.

Ministries

It is important to think out several ministries. Most important is the ministry of music. The parish will assist you in the designation of the parish organist and parish cantor. Music is to be chosen to fit the liturgical ritual and to allow full participation by the gathered assembly. Thus music should be chosen that is in the repertoire of the cantor. The organist is to be consulted early in the process of planning.

The organist and the cantor are professionals and are to be paid a stipend accordingly (standard fee is $150 each). This should be completed at least one week prior to the wedding. Guest instrumentalists and cantors may be considered if they have solid experience in Catholic liturgical music. In such cases the parish organist is still to be consulted from the outset and is to be paid a full stipend for the service.

Ushers have a critical task in the welcoming and gathering of the assembly. They should be familiar with the parish facilities and able to assist in basic hospitality. They should be present at least a half-hour before the wedding. Unless someone else is assigned the role, they should also assist in distributing program booklets etc. Unless the florist or someone else is to do it, they are to assist in furniture arranging etc., and – after the wedding – assist in returning furnishings to their proper place and picking up program booklets etc. from the pews.

Lectors are to be chosen to proclaim the readings and to speak the intentions of the general intercessions unless a deacon is present to do that. Lectors should be competent readers familiar with Catholic liturgy and, ideally, come with experience as lectors at liturgy. Lectors should plan to be at the rehearsal so that they can practice their assigned reading in the actual environment. If this is not possible, they should make other arrangements for on-site practice in advance of the wedding ceremony.

At a Wedding Mass, Eucharistic Ministers are to be chosen unless additional priests or deacons will be present. These should be persons who have been trained and designated to the ministry here or in their own parish.

Altar servers are to be chosen, especially for Wedding Mass, to assist with the holy water, the book, the cross, the candles, and the preparation of the altar for Eucharist. These, ideally, should be persons trained to the service. If not, they should speak with the priest or deacon before the wedding day.

Photography and videography

Professional photographers and videographers are welcome. They should speak with the priest or deacon before the wedding day. It is expected that they will work in a manner that does not distract from the ritual. Thus, generally they would work from the side aisles or the choir loft and would not use distracting lighting.

Procession

There is to be one procession. If special note is to be made of any advance seating, e.g. of grandparents, this may be done in the context of separate preludes. In the procession itself the priest or deacon leads and the bride and groom may process together or separately. Others, e.g. groomsmen and bridesmaids, parents of both brides and groom may often be included. The variety of possibilities here should be discussed in advance of the rehearsal.

Aisle runners

Since the aisle is carpeted there is no need for an aisle runner. Paper runners generally do not function well on top of carpeted flooring. If, however, a runner is used, arrangements are to be made via usher or florist for the immediate removal after the wedding. If planning for an aisle runner, the length is about 70 feet.

Programs

Many brides and grooms like to prepare program booklets. These can be good aids for the guests and also serve as nice mementos of the day. The priest or deacon would be most willing to work with the couple in preparing the booklet. Particulars of the liturgy often call for nuance of language in the listings of a program that can best be resolved by advance consultation.

License

Couples are reminded of the need for a civil license. This is to be obtained at any town hall or city hall of the Commonwealth. The license is good for sixty days. Prior to applying, blood tests must be obtained. The license generally will not be issued until a three day waiting period after application. The couple is to present the license prior to or at the time of the rehearsal.

Floral decoration

In the sanctuary arrangements, the general discipline of Advent (minimal flowers) and Lent (no flowers) is to be kept. At other times arrangements are to be done in basic liturgical good taste. Questions in this regard should be discussed in advance with the priest or deacon.

Unity candle

The “unity candle” is not a part of the Catholic ritual. Generally we do not encourage it for mixed signals often rise from the manner in which it is often used. Yes, bride and groom begin a common life but, no, this is not an end to your individual lives.

Rehearsal

This should be set in advance. Generally music elements are planned and prepared separately, not at the rehearsal. As mentioned above, lectors who have not used the microphones here should be present to experience the audio system in advance.

Wedding banquet

When available the priest or deacon will be glad to offer a prayer at the rehearsal dinner and/or the wedding dinner. It is best if this is planned in advance.

March 2016