A Carers Beginning. (By Helen Motteux)
Yes, I am a beginner as a Carer, just starting out in a whole new experience of my life and not sure where it is taking me to. It is like swimming in the sea slowly paddling on the edge and then going deeper and deeper until one issurmounting the big waves with nervous glances at the disappearing land.
It all began when my husband’s health began to deteriorate and from being a strong man he slowly became frail and increasingly reliant on me. He was a coffee and tea farmer in Africa and we lived in troubled times. When we returned to Britain we had to come to terms with our changed circumstances and this was not easy although we experienced a lot of kindness.I was having to take over much of what my husband managed, and I found it an alarming experience. This meant I had to learn all what he was doing such as the finances, dealing with the banks, driving long distances in the car and so on, all this in addition to what I was doing in our home. The result was longer hours to my day and frequently into the night, coping alone, as two of our children are living in Australia and our youngest son in London.
I tried being kind, gentle, compassionate, a happy workhorse without complaining and a smile on my face instead, I found in reality I was the opposite! Where have those days of our lives when my husband and I were younger disappear to? We should be growing older gracefully together, but it was not happening like that instead, I was grumpy, complaining and weary. This has all improved since Ijoined as a Carer and made new friends at the Creative Writing Workshop. They are great fun and lovely to be with and writing has been a marvellous help. Belonging to the Carers Hub is the best thing I did, as they are so kind, helpful and supportive.