THE EFFECT OF PARENTS CONFLICT ON THEIR BOYS BEHAVIOR

Chairman: Rozumah Baharudin (Prof .Dr.)

PhD. Research Proposal

By

Bahador Esfandyari

Faculty of Human Ecology

Field study: Child Development

UPM

Second Semester 2008-2009

Introduction

Over the past three decades, parents’ conflict has gained widespread public attention. Yet, attention has generally focused on the impact of conflict on victims and less so on the effects on children who witness the conflict. Until recently, child witnesses have remained the “silent”, “forgotten” or “unintended” victims of family conflict. Evidence suggests that witnessing conflict can have serious negative impacts on the development of children in the world (Kar, 2000).

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics in the United States, 3.5 million cases of family Conflict occurred between 1998 and 2003. Domestic Conflict accounts for more than half of the homicides of women (2005), and more than 3 million American children between the ages of 3 and 17 years witness parents’ conflict every year (U. S. Department of Justice, 1998, cited from Bureau of Justice Statistic, 2005). Many studies have noted that when children are either victims of Conflict, or witnesses to spousal Conflict, they demonstrate a high frequency of externalizing (e.g., aggression, depression, low self-esteem) (Groves, 1999; Hornor; 2005; Mahoney & Campbell, 1998).

Experiencing Conflict within the family can contribute to a host of cognitive, emotional, and social adjustment problems in childhood, adolescence, and beyond. Conflict within the family includes Conflict between adults in the home as well as child abuse, and negative outcomes are associated with both witnessing Conflict between parents and experiencing Conflict directly. Children who experience family Conflict often have difficulties accomplishing the important developmental task of establishing good relationships with peers (Dodge, Petit, Bates, & Valente, 1995).

Children exhibit more aggressive behavior and internalizing problems in childhood in comparison to their Nona bused peers (e.g. Egeland & Sroufe, 1981; Egeland, Sroufe, & Erikson, 1983; Kaufman & Cicchetti, 1989). Studies on adolescents and young adults who have either witnessed or experienced family Conflict suggest that they continue to have difficulties forming and sustaining relationships (Fatout, 1990) and that they are at risk for developing aggressive and delinquent behavior (e.g. Buehler, Anthony, Krishnakumar, & Stone, 1997; Wolfe, 1999). Abusive home environments have been found to predict physical aggression toward romantic partners in adolescence and early adulthood (Bank & Burraston, 2001). Overall, exposure to family violence can interfere with the development of positive relationships and appropriate behavior in society.

Although wives are usually the most direct victims of marital Conflict, children, are also influenced. Witnessing Conflict between parents is considered to be a highly stressful event for children, and is a high risk factor for psycho-social problems in children (Straus, 1990). Exposure to marital Conflict can create stress, fear, and feelings of helplessness in a child, resulting in behavioral and emotional disturbances (Jaffe, Wolfe, & Wilson, 1990; Groves, 1999). The children showed anxiety, aggression, depression, fear, helplessness, low self-esteem and poor social behavior (David, Steele, Forehand & Armistead, 1996). Bennett (1997) reviewed relevant studies and found that children in families with spousal abuse problems display three areas of behavioral problems including internal and emotional problems (e.g., depression, low self-esteem, self-blame, and suicidal intentions), school adjustment problems (e.g., social competence, lack of ability in social problem solving) and external behavioral problems (e.g., committing crimes, displaying aggression, and substance abuse).

Some researchers have suggested that marital Conflict may be related to child behavior problems due to an association with parent-child aggression (Jouriles, Mehta, McDonald, & Francis, 1997). O’Keefe (1994) and McCloskey and Figueredo (1995) found that in Conflict homes, more marital Conflict witnessed by the child was related to higher levels of father-child aggression. McCloskey and Figueredo (1995) further explained that these fathers hurt the children in order to spite the mothers. Mothers in domestic Conflict relationships are more likely to physically or emotionally abuse their children than are mothers in nonviolent relationships (Lutenbacher, Cohen, & Conner, 2004). The abuser is typically the batterer of the mothers, but the mother may also physically abuse the child (Wilden, Williamson, & Wilson, 1991).

In third world societies such as Iran, lack of enough research concerning parent conflict is due to the unwillingness of the respondents to talk about their personal affairs these condition, sometimes , make it impossible to study and research on that area(sarookhani ,2002).

In the traditional and Islamic societies like Iran it is very difficult and sometimes impossible to enter into peoples personal realms. The members of such a limited society always think that it is unacceptable to enter into his/ her realms, and most instances of parent’s conflict often go unreported. So, they denounce and ignore it strongly. Thus, there is no clear and definite statistic about the amount of parent’s conflict among the Iranian families (Ehzazi, 2002).

In recent year, the members of Iranian families, who suffer from this problem, are trying to consult about their problems in consolation and medicinal center. People’s reference to these centers is the sign of a big and dangerous problem which has dominated some of the families in Iran. This dangerous phenomena, parents conflict, hides itself behind different kinds of makes and reveals itself in different ways in human society in general and in families in particular ( kar, 2000 ).

As mentioned before, it not only reveals itself on the mistreatment of the parents with each other but it also reveals itself in mistreatment which parents may do against their children or other members of the family (Ehzazi ,2002). So we must expect the plights and dangerous condition which will affect the family and society (Taghavi, 2002). The Iranian society is passing from traditional to modern society, so the families, especially the parents, always face more problems. In other word, the modern society rules on one hand and the traditional views on the other hand put the parents in bad condition (mohseni&poor raze anvar, 2002).

Industrialization can cut the relationship between family values and community (sarookhani, 2002). Present day Iranian family is neither paternal nor maternal because the meaning of power has change. Parents respect both son and daughter at the same level and relate with both in the same way. In spite of this, there are still some signs of particular because the son takes his fathers surname. Family has become more equalized in educated people and children position has become more important and perhaps gradually the children become center of the family in the educated and the higher than middle classes. Such a family is on the basis of the couples cooperation and empathy (Taghavi). In Iran family is changing and is in the processes of structuring and restructuring, so any attitude towards family should benefit from the new generation attitude toward the family and society values (seif, 1989).

This research focuses on the parent’s conflict and effect on their children behavior. This research is going to analyze the background or the respondents the conditions of the Iranian family’s conflict and affect on their children behavior. This research may pave the ways for more researches about the parent’s conflict and effect on their children behavior.

The purpose of the present study is to examine the relation between parents’ conflict and effects on their children (ages 14 - 17), a group largely overlook in the research.

In this study our independent variable is parent’s conflict and our dependent variables are level of child aggression, level of self-esteem and level of depression that assumed have influence from parent’s conflict. This study investigates the relationships between parents’ conflict and effects on their children behavior.

Statement of problem

The problem this study has focused on is the phenomenon of parents’ conflict in Iran, their effect on children especially as it occurs in the family. Because it is existence in many of the family in Iran, it is important to examine this problem in terms of these conditions. Researchers who have looked at this problem in Iran have argued that many of these customs encourage parents’ conflict in families (Kar, 2002).

The majority of conflict witnessed by children is in their own homes. Over the past several decades, empirical support has accumulated for the association between inter parental conflict and effect on children. Correlation and analogue studies have identified negative child outcomes in the areas of behavior problems, self-esteem, depression, anxiety, cognitive competence, and social skills (Amato & Keith, 1991; Emery, 1982; Grych & Fincham, 1990).

The reactions of children who witness conflict by one parent against another may include emotional, social, cognitive, physical and behavioral maladjustment problems (Jaffe, Wolfe & Wilson, 1990). These children tend to show lower levels of social competence, higher rates of depression and aggression, worry and frustration, and are more likely than other children to develop stress-related disorders and to show lower levels of self-esteem (Fantuzzo, et al., 1991; Graham-Bermann & Levendosky, 1998; Moore & Pepler, 1998; Edleson, 1999).

Conflict itself is a negative behavior; it can have effect on the quality of the relationship and have positive or negative outcomes (Borisoff & Victor, 1989; Cummings & Davies, 1994; Lloyd & Emery, 1994; Lulofs, 1994). Conflict may range from psychological, to verbal or nonverbal acts that hurt the other person, to physical violence (Gelles, 1987).

Some researchers believe that the greater the amount of conflict in the family the greater the probability and incidence of Conflict (Coleman & Straus, 1986; Straus, Gelles, & Steinmetz, 1980; Warner, 1981). Conflict is considered an extreme of mismanaged conflict (Tjosvold, Tjosvold, & Tjosvold, 1991). Victims of child abuse have difficulty interacting with their spouse and develop detrimental emotional and psychological problems (Varia & Abidin, 1999).

Conflict is one resource that tends to be used when other resources, such as, money is lacking (Goode, 1971). The fewer the resources of a family, the greater the likelihood for violence to occur (Goode, 1971; Mack & Snyder, 1973; Warner, 1981). Conflict in the family is not a new phenomenon. It is found throughout history (Gelles, 1987, 1997). "People are more likely killed, physically assaulted, hit, beat up, slapped, or spanked in their own homes by other family members than anywhere else, or by anyone else, in our society" (Gelles, 1997, p.1). Approximately 50-60% of couples report physical violence by a partner at some time during their relationship (Steinmetz, 1987). The family has been coined the "most violent social grouping" (Witt, 1987).

Conversely, many researchers believe that there has not been an increase in Conflict in the family, but a growing public awareness, openness of existence, and new laws that require reporting cases (Gelles, 1997; Steinmetz, 1987; Straus & Gelles, 1990; Warner, 1981).

According to the National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth, children who were exposed to adults or teenagers physically fighting in the home were less likely to have positive or effective interactions with their parents than other children. They were also more likely to be living in households with low family functioning and high parental depression. Witnessing family Conflict is also linked to negative behavior in children. Children who are exposed to adults or teenagers physically fighting in the home were more likely to exhibit physical aggression, indirect aggression, emotional disorders, hyperactivity, and to commit delinquent acts against property (Research and Statistics Division, Justice Canada 2001).

Some findings suggest that certain characteristics of children, such as sex and age, affect how children respond when exposed to Conflict. Boys more commonly express external reactions, such as hostility and aggression, whereas girls tend to show more internalized behaviors such as depression, fear and physical ailments (Carlson, 1991; Kerig, 1999). Younger children are more likely to express complaints of physical ailments, anxiety and aggressive behavior, and to regress to earlier stages of developmental functioning. Older children are more likely to use aggression as a means of problem solving, accept excuses for Conflict behavior, project blame onto others, and display symptoms of anxiety (Alessi & Hern, 1984). Other factors, such as social or economic disadvantage, repeated moves, or parental separation also influence how children respond to spousal Conflict (Jaffe, Wolfe & Wilson, 1990).

Studies have determined common characteristics of Conflict behavior in families. Researchers believe a combination of (or individual influence of) factors such as family background, social class, unemployment, low level of education, number of children, age, and race, as well as overall stress, play a significant role in the risk of the use of Conflict in parent conflict (Cazenave & Straus, 1990; Connelly & Straus, 1992; Gelles, 1997; Hampton & Gelles, 1994; Harris, 1996; Kurdek, 1991; Steinmetz, 1987; Straus, Gelles, & Steinmetz, 1980; Warner, 1981; Witt, 1987).

Conflict in the family has been found to lower the self-esteem of family members, produce stress, depression, and sometimes suicide attempts (Lauer & Lauer, 1991; Straus & Gelles, 1990). After death, separation, and divorce, some consider family Conflict the most difficult to cope with (Lauer & Lauer, 1991).

The impact of Conflict on children in the family ranges from poor school performance to a social learning perspective that Conflict is learned by the child from his/her environment. There is a need to replace the model of Conflict in families (Warner, 1981). The fact remains that "unless alternative modeling replaces the imitation of parents as they fight their way through a marriage, spousal, and parental role sets containing punitive and possessive elements will continue to be transmitted to the oncoming generation" (Witt, 1987, p.294).

Studies indicate that self-esteem is a good indicator of the quality of relationships individuals have. Those who scored low on self-esteem evaluations were usually involved in unfulfilling relationships, while those who scored higher reported a healthy relationship with their partner (Varia et al, 1996). Findings indicate that non-abused individuals scored higher on the self-esteem on the questionnaires than the abused individuals (Varia et al, 1996). Although, the minimizes reported the lowest overall self-esteem levels because they inaccurately perceived abuse as their own fault (Varia et al, 1996). Sappington and colleagues (1997) found that low self-esteem, along with inability to control anger, also served as indicators for later dating or spousal abuse including, forced intercourse and physical abuse.

Children make decisions on how to act and not to act based on symbols that they have learned from previous interaction and the importance that is placed on these symbols (Burr et al., 1993). This makes the primary group, the family; a key influence on the development of such symbols and interaction patterns since meaning is derived from the "process of interaction between people" (LaRossa & Reitzes, 1993).