I will evaluate the first draft based on the following SEE formula.
S – Select an example from the text, i.e., novel, essay, speech.
E – Explain what the example means.
E – Elaborate to demonstrate the connection between the quotation and your thesis statement.
For example:
THESIS: The main conflict in Huckleberry Finn deals with the opposing morals of society and the individual, and Huck Finn is torn by obligations to both.
S – Huck tears up the letter to Miss Watson. You can find the quotation and use it directly in your essay (along with quotation marks!!).
E – Huck wavers back and forth throughout the novel, criticizing his actions while still going through with them. Finally, Huck decides to follow his own heart, even if he will be sent to hell.
E – Although the reader understands that Huck is actually making the correct decision in helping Jim, the fact that he decides to help when all he has ever been taught by society tells him that he is wrong shows victory in the struggle of the individual against conformity.
Compare Smith’s and Bradford’s Attitudes toward the Native Americans,
p. 84
1. Find the quotations.
From Smith’s Journal
p. 71
“But now with all our provisions spent, the sturgeon gone, all helps abandoned, each our expecting the fury of the savages; when God, the patron of all good endeavors…so changed the hearts of the savages.”
p. 72
“Six or seven weeks those barbarians kept him [Smith] prisoner, many strange triumphs and conjurations they made of him, yet he so demeaned himself amongst them, as he not only diverted them [N. A.] from surprising the fort, but procured his own liberty, and got himself and his company such estimation amongst them, that these savages admired him.”
p. 73
“Notwithstanding, within an hour, they tied him to a tree and as many as could stand about him prepared to shoot him, but the King holding up the compass,… they all laid down their bows and arrows and in a triumphant manner led him [Smith] to Orapaka.”
p. 73
“Before a fire upon a seat like a bedstead, he [Powhatan] sat covered with a great robe made of raccoon skins and all the tails hanging by. On either hand did sit a young wench of sixteen or eighteen years…”
p. 74
“Then Powhatan more like a devil than a man, with some two hundred more as black as himself, came unto him and told him now they were friends…he [Smith] should go to Jamestown to send him [Powhatan] two great guns and a grindstone.
p. 74
“That night they quartered in the woods, he still expecting (as he had done all this long time of imprisonment) every hour to be put to one death or other …. But almighty God (by His divine providence) had mollified the hearts of those stern barbarians with compassion.”
From Bradford’s Plymouth Plantation
pp. 78-79
“It is recorded in Scripture as a mercy to the Apostle and his shipwrecked company, that the barbarians showed them no small kindness in refreshing them, but these savage barbarians, when they met with them (as after will appear) were readier to fill their sides full of arrows then otherwise.”
p. 80
“All this while the Indians came skulking about them, and would sometimes show themselves aloof of, but when they approached near them, they would run away. And once they stole away their tools where they had been at work, and were gone to dinner.”
p. 81
“He [Samoset] became profitable to them in acquainting them many things….”
p. 81
“A while after he came again, and 5 more with him, and they brought again all the tools that were stolen away before….”
p. 82
“Whist whom, after friendly entertainment, and some gifts given him [Massasoit], they made a peace with him (which hath now continued this 24 years).”
p. 82
“But Squanto continued with them and was their interpreter, and was a special instrument sent of God for their good beyond their expectation.”
p. 71“But now with all our provisions spent, the sturgeon gone, all helps abandoned, each our expecting the fury of the savages; when God, the patron of all good endeavors…so changed the hearts of the savages.”
p. 72
“Six or seven weeks those barbarians kept him [Smith] prisoner, many strange triumphs and conjurations they made of him, yet he so demeaned himself amongst them, as he not only diverted them [N. A.] from surprising the fort, but procured his own liberty, and got himself and his company such estimation amongst them, that these savages admired him.”
p. 73
“Notwithstanding, within an hour, they tied him to a tree and as many as could stand about him prepared to shoot him, but the King holding up the compass,… they all laid down their bows and arrows and in a triumphant manner let him [Smith] to Orapaka.”
p. 73
“Before a fire upon a seat like a bedstead, he [Powhatan] sat covered with a great robe made of raccoon skins and all the tails hanging by. On either hand did sit a young wench of sixteen or eighteen years…”
p. 74
“Then Powhatan more like a devil than a man, with some two hundred more as black as himself, came unto him and told him now they were friends…he [Smith] should go to Jamestown to send him [Powhatan] two great guns and a grindstone.
p. 74
“That night they quartered in the woods, he still expecting (as he had done all this long time of imprisonment) every hour to be put to one death or other …. But almighty God (by His divine providence) had mollified the hearts of those stern barbarians with compassion.”
pp. 78-79
“It is recorded in Scripture as a mercy to the Apostle and his shipwrecked company, that the barbarians showed them no small kindness in refreshing them, but these savage barbarians, when they met with them (as after will appear) were readier to fill their sides full of arrows then otherwise.”
p. 80
“All this while the Indians came skulking about them, and would sometimes show themselves aloof of, but when they approached near them, they would run away. And once they stole away their tools where they had been at work, and were gone to dinner.”
p. 81
“He [Samoset] became profitable to them in acquainting them many things….”
p. 81
“A while after he came again, and 5 more with him, and they brought again all the tools that were stolen away before….”
p. 82
“Whist whom, after friendly entertainment, and some gifts given him [Massasoit], they made a peace with him (which hath now continued this 24 years).”
p. 82
“But Squanto continued with them and was their interpreter, and was a special instrument sent of God for their good beyond their expectation.”