Sentence Combining: Part 3: Ideas Attached to Nouns
Introduction
In Chapter 1, you combined sentences to give clarity to description in order to allow the audience to see what you saw. You were shown how to achieve more precise expression by adding significant details to simple sentence patterns. In Chapter 2, you worked on making clear the relationship between ideas. You had to determine whether that relationship was one of addition, cause and effect, contrast, condition, or some other connection. The aim of the chapter was to have you develop sentence variety. .
In this chapter, you will combine sentences to give clarity to nouns through the use of the following:
1. relative clauses
2. appositives
3. participial phrases
Traditionally the authors of grammar books tell you that each of these structures gives additional information about its antecedent. In fact, some books refer to these structures as "interrupters" since they break into the basic sentence patterns. However, in good writing, relative clauses, appositives and participial phrases are important; they are not merely tacked on to fill space. The problem for the writer is to decide whether the information contained in the three structures is relevant to what you are trying to tell the audience. Sometimes the reader definitely will need the information, but sometimes the sentence will be better off with no additions. At this point, you will have started the most painful aspect of writing the throwaway. In the sentence combining in this chapter, you have to think seriously about your audience and about the idea you are transmitting.
In writing, you have to assume a large audience one that contains more than your English teacher. You always have to consider two things: what the audience knows and, more important, what the audience does not know. If you assume too much knowledge on the part of the readers, they might well become irritated because they have to do research, or at least dictionary work, to find out what you are talking about. If you assume the audience does not know enough and you over explain your material, then they may feel the writer has patronized them. Since an audience is composed of people with different interests and occupations, a composition can annoy or offend different readers for different reasons. Nowhere does the problem become more apparent than in the additional information we give about nouns. Sometimes the audience needs a brief reminder:
Section 1: Relative Clauses
A relative clause is a clause that begins with a relative pronoun and that describes, defines, or gives additional information about a noun or a pronoun. A clause, as you learned in the last chapter, is a group of words that has a subject and a predicate. The most common relative pronouns are who, who, whose, which, and that.
Example:
Ralph looked forward to the visits of Aunt Agatha, who always brought expensive gifts for the family.
By itself, the relative clause-who always brought with her expensive gifts for the family-does not tell the reader enough: The reader has no idea of the identity of the gift-giver. The clause depends for meaning on the word that precedes the pronoun who. The noun or pronoun that precedes the relative pronoun is an antecedent.
In the example, the antecedent, Aunt Agatha, is part of the clause that can stand by itself without any need for support:
Ralph looked forward to the visits of Aunt Agatha.
It is clear that this clause can stand-alone. That is, by itself it makes complete sense. A clause that can stand-alone is an independent clause. For the purposes of sentence combining, you can also call it the main, or major, clause. You will also note that in addition to the close connection between the pronoun "who" and its antecedent, "Agatha," there is a relationship of ideas. The relative clause explains exactly why Aunt Agatha's visits are so enjoyable for Ralph: she is generous. Both types of relationship are necessary in a sentence with a relative clause. There must be a close connection between the pronoun and its antecedent, and between the idea of the relative clause and that of the main clause;
Let us examine the means by which one forms a relative clause. Let us start with two independent sentences or clauses:
Aunt Agatha gave Ralph the top.
An old man had carved the top by hand in Tibet.
The two sentences have the needless repetition of the words "the top." The repetition of words in short sentences can be avoided through sentence combining. If you replace the words, "the top," in the second sentence with the word "that," you produce a relative clause. When you combine the new relative clause with the main clause, you produce:
Aunt Agatha gave Ralph the top that an old man had carved by hand in Tibet.
The words "that "and "the top" are the same. If the relative clause appears alone, it does not have total meaning.
The word "that" gains meaning only when you attach it to a noun or pronoun. In this section, you will be examining pairs of independent sentences. In each pair of sentences, you will take one of the independent clauses and make the clause dependent for meaning on the other clause by removing a word (or words) that also occurs in the other clause and by substituting a relative pronoun.
A clause that starts with the relative pronoun who, whom, whose, which, or that has many names. It is known as a relative clause because it relates one clause to another through a word that is common to both. It is also called a dependent clause because it needs the help of (depends on) an independent clause for complete meaning. A third name is an adjective clause because it occurs after a noun or pronoun which it describes or defines. Whatever its name, there are rules for construction of the relative clause.
If the antecedent (subject being referenced) is human, you must use who, whom, or whose:
who / subject of clause / Aunt Agatha, who has a large vocabulary, does crossword puzzles easily. S V
whom / direct object / Aunt Agatha has corresponded for years with a woman whom she met in Lisbon.
DO S V
object of preposition / The woman with whom Aunt Agatha corresponds knows a great deal about antiques. Prep OP Subj
whose / possessive pronoun / Aunt Agatha, whose children are all college age, travels now only with her husband. Poss S V
Nonrestrictive Relative Clauses
A relative clause may contain information that is important but that in no way changes the meaning of the antecedent or of the main clause:
In the Middle Ages, you placed your chunk of meat on a thick slice of bread, which soaked up the meat's gravy.
The relative clause describes one quality of bread: it soaks up gravy. Such information, however, is not essential to the main clause. It does not qualify or restrict the bread in the major clause. Because the information in the relative clause does not qualify or in some way limit or restrict the meaning of the antecedent bread, the relative clause is a nonrestrictive one. Therefore, it must be set off from the rest of the sentence by commas. Since the pronoun's antecedent is a thing (bread), the correct relative pronoun is which.
Restrictive Relative Clauses
A relative clause that qualifies or restricts its noun (antecedent) so that it cannot be left out without changing the meaning is restrictive. The following sentence contains a restrictive clause:
The parents wanted to remove from the school's media center the children's books that had a definite sexist bias.
You will notice that the relationship between the relative clause and the major clause is not the same as that found in the bread sentence above. Are all the children's books in the media center being removed? No. But if we omit the relative clause, the major clause does state exactly that. The sentence would then read as follows:
The parents wanted to remove from the school's media center the children's books.
You can see that the relative clause limits the book removal a good deal. The writer has made a general term, children's books, much more specific through the added information. Only those books with a sexist bias are to be withdrawn. When a clause reduces, limits, or changes the range of meaning in a word, it qualifies the word. Since the clause qualifies the meaning of the children's books, it is restrictive.
Model Sentences for Relative Clauses
DIRECTIONS: The following is a series of sentence combinations that illustrate a particular point in making relative clauses. The comments in parentheses are reminders of what must be done to accomplish the combined sentence. Each relative clause is under lined.
1. Mrs. Dolby prepared a special diet.
Her daughter could not deviate from the diet.
Mrs. Dolby prepared a special diet from which her daughter could not deviate.
(Move the prepositional phrase from the diet to the beginning of the sentence to allow for pronoun connection, then substitute which for the diet.)
2. She could not eat any food.
Food contained onion, garlic, or pepper.
She could not eat any food that contained onion, garlic, or pepper.
(Restrictive clauses tend not to make much sense when they are alone. The same is true of the sentence to which the restrictive clause will connect. Obviously if the daughter could not eat any food at all, she would soon die. The restrictive clause tells the reader the limitations on food. Since the clause is restrictive, it takes the relative pronoun that.)
3. Joyce wanted to play in the game.
The game would decide the league championship.
Joyce wanted to play in the game that would decide the league championship.
(Once again, the restrictive clause is important for an accurate understanding of the major sentence. Joyce wants to play in one particular game. Because the clause is restrictive, use the pronoun that.)
4. Joyce formerly had a sunny disposition.
She began to complain daily to her friends about her job.
Joyce, who formerly had a sunny disposition, began to complain daily to her friends about her job.
(The relative clause helps the reader to understand how much Joyce has changed, but it is still additional information and should be set off by commas from the major clause. Always use the proper name in the major clause, but if the paragraph has been about one person, the sentence could use the pronoun she.)
5. The friends tried to ignore Joyce's preoccupation with her job.
Friends stayed by her during this time.
The friends who stayed by her during this time tried to ignore her preoccupation with her job.
(Some of Joyce's friends kept their distance. Some did not. Since the clause is restrictive, it does not take commas. You could also use the pronoun that to connect the clause.)
Activity 1: Cued Activity Set
DIRECTIONS: Follow the cues in the parentheses at the right to combine on a separate sheet of paper the sentences in each set.
Explain why each relative clause is restrictive or nonrestrictive. Note that the punctuation for the nonrestrictive clause is included in the cues.
1. Prophylaxis can be a painful experience if the dentist finds a lot of plaque.
Prophylaxis means the cleaning of teeth. (, which. . . ,)
2. The grandfather's clock still does not keep accurate time.
We had sent the grandfather's clock to the repair shop. (, which. . . ,)
(To prepare for the connection of the relative clause, move the direct object the grandfather's clock to the beginning of the sentence.)
3. Marybeth has a firm conviction.
No one can ever alter that conviction. (that …)
4. Gloria tried to become a fashion model.
The optimism of Gloria is a legend in our school. (, whose. . . ,)
(To prepare for the connection of the relative clause, move the possessive prepositional phrase of Gloria before the noun it modifies.)
5. Those ice skates have always been my favorite.
Lauren misplaced the ice skates. (that …)
6. We found ourselves in an embarrassing situation.
We had no easy solution for the embarrassing situation. (, for which. . . )
(To prepare for the connection of the relative clause, move the prepositional phrase for the embarrassing situation to the front of the sentence. Since this is not a possessive prepositional phrase, you must keep the preposition for and use the relative pronoun which.)
7. Sharon wanted a ticket for the concert.
Sharon had heard so many good things about the concert. (, about which . . . )
(Do not use the proper name Sharon twice in the combined sentence. Substitute "she" for Sharon the second time the name occurs in the combined sentence.)
8. The girl had read a number of books about magic.
The girl did not try to ruin the magician's illusions. (who. . . )
9. The teacher complimented Gary.
No one else had ever found Gary particularly praiseworthy. (, whom. . . )
(To prepare for the connection of the relative clause, move the direct object Gary to the beginning of the second sentence.)
10. The young artist produced a gentle sound on the piano.
The piano is, after all, a percussive instrument. (, which. . . )
11. Robert reacted to our teasing with an anger.
We found the anger quite inappropriate for the situation. (that. . . )
12. Her face showed a sadness.
The sadness came from years of dealing with the people's complaints in the department store.