PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS DOCUMENT IS A DRAFT
HOW TO WRITE A POWERFUL ESSAY AND A PURPOSEFUL COMMENATRY
PRECISE POINTS FOR PUNCTILLIOUS USE
Conrad Hughes
1. The Main Jist of it all: WHAT, THROUGH and EFFECT
Before we begin to look at the differences between essay and commentaries, let’s discuss what both have in common. The point I am about to make is actually rather important because it sums up the core of both commentary and essay writing in a very simple idea. If you stick to this idea, write well and in sufficient detail, check your work thoroughly before submission, then it is unlikely that you will go wrong (unless you have not read the books or never attended English class).
Ready for the idea? Here goes:
WHAT THROUGH EFFECT
Does it look a bit strange? Or perhaps incomplete? Well it is, but before we go into more detail, remember those three words WHAT, THROUGH and EFFECT. Try to remember the arrow between the WHAT and the EFFECT too.
These should be the questions in the back of your idea at all times, whether you are writing a commentary or an essay: what is\are the text(s) saying? Through which devices? What effect does this create in the reader?
Now for a bit more:
WHAT THROUGH EFFECT
WHAT
For a commentary, the WHAT will mean what is the extract or poem saying about the human condition or the world? The text might be, superficially, about watermelons or fish or a forest, but there is a second, deeper meaning: your job is to decide what exactly this second meaning is. The WHAT will become your argument (we’ll go into the argument in more detail a bit later though).
For an essay, the WHAT will mean what are the novels\plays\short stories\essays saying about the question you are answering? Do they concur with the question or do they disagree? Perhaps one text agrees with the question while the other does not. If you have a question asking you to comment on what the works you have read have told you about power, then your what will, very simply, be your response to this question.
THROUGH
Through is the main part of your commentary or essay. The most common literary features for a commentary, the ones that will always be there are the following:
THE MAIN LITERARY FEATURERS FOR A COMMENTARY
Symbols
Tone
Atmosphere
Metaphor
Punctuation
Imagery
Narrative structure
If we put these together in an acronym we get STAMPIN (think of the word stamping, but written like this: STAMPIN. Ready to do some stampin?
Each paragraph of your commentary can focus on one of these literary features. It may be that in the end you only focus on some of these literary features since the others will come up in those paragraphs as you work your way through the commentary. Remember that in each of these paragraphs you will look at examples of the chosen literary feature to say how the text is saying what it is and what the effect of this is on the reader.
It may be that there will be other literary features (such as the use of sound) that are more appropriate for the extract you are looking at.
LITERARY FEATURERS FOR AN ESSAY
These are the literary features that will always be relevant to your essay (unless you are writing about non-fictional essays with no characters in them):
Characterization
Atmosphere
Narrative Structure
Plot
Symbol
Which give us
ChANPS (think of the word “champs” as in “champions”, but spelled with an N instead of an M).
THE INTRODUCTION
The introduction should contain three clear components:
1. Identification of the extract or poem: “The poem “The Tyger” by William Blake is a vivid and atmospheric account of a tiger that asks questions of how and by whom the creature was created”
2. Statement of your argument: “This commentary will investigate the idea that the devil is ultimately the creator of the tiger”
3. An indication of how your commentary is going to proceed: “through an analysis of the use of rhetorical questions, imagery, rhythm and punctuation”
The Argument
The argument, also called a thesis statement or a statement of intent should be clear and concise. You are expected to remain within the logic of this argument throughout the main body of your commentary, coming back to it frequently and quoting extracts from the passage or poem that illustrate it. Finding an argument can be difficult and you will need to read through the poem or extract a few times, highlighting and annotating before you can write up a good plan.
Brainstorming an Argument
Step 1
Read through the poem and write down all of the possible themes you think the poem evokes
Step 2
Select the theme you think is the one that expresses what the poem is saying the most accurately and the one you can say the most about. This is how you might proceed:
Step 3
Once you have chosen a theme, look through it in the poem or extract, highlighting where and when you see it coming up and try to synthesise all of the examples of this theme that you can find into one statement.
Step 4
See if your argument holds (in other words, now read through the poemn with that argument in mind to see if you agree that this is what the poem or extract is saying).
THE MAIN BODY:
Whereas the introduction is brief and synthetic, the main body is detailed, demonstrative (you are demonstrating your points) and well illustrated. It’s important to take the points you have outlined in your introduction and to develop them fully in the course of the main body and not to merely state facts or make observations.
The relationship between the introduction and the main body should be tight. To show this in a diagram we could say:
INTRODUCTION:
The extract X, written by Y deals with the loss of innocence by giving a voice to a flower. This commentary will show the tone, imagery, punctuation and rhythm of the passage make the flower’s speech both melancholic and naïve, suggesting that the loss of innocence is a negative experience, but at the same time one that is unavoidable.
THROUGH:
There are many, many literary features that you could analyse in any text, your job here is to choose the ones that are the most significant. It might be a good idea to focus on one literary feature for each paragraph, making sure that you illustrate the use of that literary feature with good examples and that you comment on how the use of this literary feature contributes to your argument.
LINKING DEVICES
Between each paragraph you should look for a structural linking device so that there is some natural flow and continuity to your piece. Avoid flat terms such as “also”: your commentary should look for a continuation of the same idea or effect from one paragraph to the next or a contrasting use.
Good Linking Devices to start off each paragraph
Continuity
“Continuing with the theme of XXXX, the use of metaphors in the extract\poem creates a similar effect”
“Not only is the theme of death highlighted by the use of punctuation, but through the use of objectification”
“Similar to the effect created by the tone, a grotesque effect is created by the use of imagery”
Contrast
“While the use of symbolism contributes to the overall theme of love, the use of syntax points in a quite different direction”
“Conversely, the use of similes creates a quite different effect on the reader: “
“If the tone of the poem suggests that ambition is a fundamentally negative human attribute, the atmosphere connotes far more positive ideas of success, drive and will-power”
ILLUSTRATION
Choosing the right Quotation
It is vital that you illustrate well throughout your main body: you will need to back up (substantiate) your points with quotations that are salient (in other words, salty and worthwhile). Do not merely list the examples of literary features but make sure that you are selecting examples that are either saying something that supports your argument.
Choosing the right examples is critical.
Integrating Quotations into your work
There are two main methods of integrating quotations into your work: run-on and block quotations
Run-on: the narrative voice’s tone is indignant: it “sees the world as a place of injustice” (line 2)
Block: The narrative voice’s tone is indignant: “ I see the world as a place of injustice” (line 2)
Avoid starting sentences with quotations; introduce them with your own voice.
2.b COMMENTARY WRITING
The Structure of the Commentary
INTRODUCTION: Introduce the extract briefly. State your argument.
MAIN BODY: Go through the poem or extract analyzing meaning through the use and effect of literary features. Use good linking devices to move along.
CONCLUSION: Explain how your argument has been demonstrated. You might be able to synthesise the use of literary features into some sort of pattern.
Remember, the INTRODUCTION is ARGUMENTATIVE; the MAIN BODY is DEMONSTRATIVE (i. e you are demonstrating your argument with examples), the CONCLUSION is SYNTHETIC.
Pomegranates
Fat, juicy pomegranates lie in a row of orbicular perfection (1)
Under the watchful eye of the weathered and tired hawker.
The gentle voices of the fruit sellers tick into time, clock needles
Cut about the gentle brown of nature as the wind caresses the tarpaulin.
The shadows shorten; (5)
And Helios’ stiff metal rays warm the feet of the children
As they scuttle about, sending small clouds of dust amidst the fruit
To settle in a fine duvet on each rounded globe of freckled brown.
The hawker wipes away that coat of earthy livery with a white cloth,
Leaving the sheen to reach out once more to the hungry eyes (10)
Of the buyers that swell slowly about the fruit, their eyes growing
Wider with appetite.
He dreams of the coins that will flutter his purse with the loss of each fruit
When a voice reaches out to him, telling him to cut the fruit open
To see the juices (15)
And now the wind begins to howl angrily
The sun’s rays are no longer benign; the voices a chaotic, daemonic din
And the bodies press against each other to see the glimmer
Of the knife that dances in the heat
Sparkling like incandescent liquid silver (20)
The hawker brings the blade high above his shoulder
And has a chance to see the smiles flicker through the crowd
Then brings it down on the fruit, searing through the skin
Leaving a deep blood red lung
The man scowls and winks, he nods his head (25)
In admonishment
And the hawker wipes the gore off his blade
And states his price.
Conrad Hughes
The bad poetry collection, 2009
INTRODUCTION:
The poem “Pomegranates” by Conrad Hughes is, at first reading, a detailed and expressive description of how pomegranates are sold at the market. However, through a deeper reading and an analysis of the poem’s use of symbols, tone, atmosphere, metaphor, punctuation, imagery and narrative structure, this commentary will argue that the poem is a statement about power.
PARAGRAPH ONE (Symbols and imagery)
The use of symbols in the poem is worth close investigation. The “fat, juicy pomegranates” (line 1) are “the brown of nature” (line 4) on the outside but “deep blood red” (line 24) on the inside. This contrast of colours indicates that the pomegranates are symbols of strong passionate force hidden by a deceptively calm exterior of nature. The symbolic imagery extends itself into the man selling the fruit: on the outside he is “weathered and tired” (line 2), but on the inside the reader is told that “he dreams of the coins that will flutter into his purse with the loss of each fruit” (line 13). Like the pomegranates, the man’s calm outside is contrasted with his lively interior. The effect on the reader of this symbolism and strong imagery is a feeling of the hidden, unexpected potential of something that hides its inner-nature through the disguise of the outside. By using a primary colour (“red”) and associating it with “blood” and a “lung” (24), the poet is commenting on the specifically animalistic, human nature of power: it is not something abstract and indifferent but full of life and passion. The reader also notes that the pomegranates are described, symbolically as being “under” the hawker: they are his property, his power and the crowd looks at the fruit with envy and appetite.
PARAGRAPH TWO (tone and atmosphere)
Similar to the explosive use of colours and contrast in the symbolism of the poem, the tone is one that alternates between the calm and the explosive. In the first ten lines of the poem the tone is serene and soothing: the “wind caresses the tarpaulin” (line 4), the sun “warms the feet of the children” (line 6) and the “gentle voices of fruit sellers” (line 3) help to create this effect. However, there is a turning point in the tone of the poem on line 15 when the man buying the pomegranates demands that it be cut open, “to see the juices” (line 15). From this point on the tone and the atmosphere become tempestuous: the “wind begins to howl angrily” (line 16), the sun’s rays are “no longer benign” (line 17) and what was previously the sound of gentle voices becomes “a chaotic, deamonic din” (line 17). Not unlike the contrast between a calm outside and a passionate inside, the change in tone indicates a strong contrast, leaving the reader a feeling of mounting antagonism and conflict. It is of interest to note that the turning point in the poem’s atmosphere and tone comes at the point where the fruit buyer asks the hawker to cut the fruit open. This could be read as symbolic of someone asking another person to expose him or herself and in a sense to bring down his or her shield: indeed, the turning point is a statement that when one person asks another to relinquish some of his power, all havoc breaks loose.