Module 3: Intercultural Communication Verbal

3.1.2 Intercultural Communication - Verbal: Direct & Indirect Communication, Independent Level

Module 3: Intercultural Communication – Verbal

3.1.2 Direct & Indirect Communication

(Independent Level)

Explanation

Verbal communication is the act of using language to exchange information or to express ideas, thoughts or feelings to someone else.

In this module we are going to examine two different communication styles; direct communication and indirect communication.

Direct Communication

People who use direct communication say exactly what they think. They use words to communicate their message and their main goal is to get or receive information in a clear and efficient manner. Those who use direct communication value honesty and believe it is better to say what needs to be said. They feel it’s ok to say no and reveal their wants, desires and needs easily.

Examples of countries which use direct communication: The United States, Germany and Israel. (Of course within countries individuals will use direct/indirect communication to varying degrees)

Indirect Communication

People who use indirect communication do not immediately say exactly what they think. They communicate their message not only through the use of words, but also through implication[1], understatement[2] and an understanding of the context[3]. Those who use indirect communication value politeness and aim to protect the reputation and self-esteem of themselves and the people they are speaking with. They do not believe everything needs to be said. They will avoid saying no or revealing their wants, desires and needs if they feel it could cause tension.

Examples of countries which use indirect communication: China, Korea and Argentina.

Activity 1

·  Hand out the worksheet for Activity 1

·  Read through the description of direct communication and indirect communication.

·  Break up the students into groups of 3/4 and ask them to decide whether each of the sentences below the table is an advantage/disadvantage of direct/indirect communication. Can they think of any others? See below for answers.

Direct Communication / Indirect Communication
Advantages
-  Clear communication
-  Saves time as communication is to the point / -  Strong awareness of communication cues/signals
-  ‘Manage’ communication with care
.
Disadvantages
-  Risk of causing offense
-  May appear insensitive or rude / -  Risk of misunderstanding
-  May appear vague or unreliable

·  Ask the students to think about which style of communication is used in the UK. In order to answer the question, suggest that they think about, from their own experience, how conflict is handled, how disagreement is expressed and how bad news is communicated in the UK.

Do they think it is the same style as their country of origin or different?

·  Tell the students that the UK indirect communication is mostly used.

Being polite, avoiding conflict or tension and modesty are all considered important in the UK.

At the same time the communication style in UK is informal and humour is generally appreciated.

You may find that communication problems occur if you are coming from a culture that uses direct communication or even from a culture that uses different communication signals or patterns.

·  Ask the students to discuss in their groups whether they have had any misunderstandings in the UK which might be due differences in communication style? Or whether any particular conversations have left them feeling puzzled or surprised? Discuss whether there is a cultural explanation.

Dealing with communication style differences

As British people use indirect communication, they will not, in general, tell you if you have said something which sounds rude or abrupt. As you will not be told what you are saying wrong, it can be very difficult to address any communication problems or misunderstandings you may have.

In this module it is therefore very important to explore the rules of indirect communication and learn some techniques to communicate successfully in the UK.

You do not have to like and accept all the differences between the British style of communication and your own, but increasing your understanding and awareness of these differences may help your daily interactions here.

Rule Number 1: Avoid making requests which put another person under pressure

When a request is being made in the UK, it is not asked in a direct manner, for example you would not say, ‘I want the milk’.

It would be more usual to say ‘Can I have the milk please?’/ ’Is it possible to take the milk?’

Although asking for something in this manner is perfectly appropriate in many other countries, in the UK it can sound rude.

Another important factor to remember is that the request is usually asked in a manner that does not put the person you are asking under pressure.

As such British people often:

-  Present options instead of demands

-  Ask for something in an apologetic fashion

-  Acknowledge the fact that their request may not be possible (so as to avoid embarrassing themselves or the person they are asking in the event their request is refused).

…Who knew asking for something could be so complicated!

In this section we are going to highlight some simple techniques you can use to ask for something politely which will improve the chance of your request being responded to favourably.

·  Use ‘can’, ‘would’ or ‘could’ to make requests sound gentler and more polite.

Write the following examples up on the board:

-  Where is the bus stop? à Would you tell me where the bus stop

is?

-  What time is it? à Could you tell me what time it is?

-  How do you use this machine? à Can you tell me how to use this

machine?

Furthermore many polite expressions used for making requests are made up of ‘can’, ‘could’ and ‘would’.

For example:

-  Could I possibly leave early from work today? I am not feeling well.

-  Do you think I could borrow your umbrella?

-  Would you mind asking John to phone me tomorrow?

·  Use ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’

In many cultures it is not necessary to use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ as often as it is in the UK.

Using ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ is an easy way of making a request sound a lot more polite, so try and get into the practice of using them.

Example:

-  I want another cup of tea à Could I have another cup of tea please?

-  Can I get by? à Excuse me, can I get by please?

Showing appreciation in a request will make others more inclined to help you, use expressions such as:

-  It would be greatly appreciated. (formal written request)

e.g. Could you send me the information as soon as possible, it would be greatly appreciated.

-  That would be great! (informal spoken / written request)

e.g. If you could send me the information as soon as possible, that would be great!

·  Use ‘if’ to show that you understand that what you are asking may not be possible

Using ‘if’ shows you are not assuming they will/can help you and shows your gratitude for any help they may give you.

-  If it’s not too much trouble, could you show me how to fill out this form?

-  If you could show me where the envelopes are kept, that would be great!

-  If possible, would you takes notes for me in class tomorrow?

-  Is it alright with you if we talk about this another time?

-  Do you mind if I eat the last slice of cake?

Activity 2 - Making Requests, parts A & B

·  Hand out the worksheet for Activity 2.

·  On a separate piece of paper ask the students to complete section A& B – rewriting the sentences to make them more polite.

Possible answers are shown below:

A.  Make the following sentences more polite

-  When is the bank open? à Could you tell me when the bank opens please?

-  Where do I buy stamps? à Excuse me, do you know where I could buy

stamps?

-  I can’t find the train station à Would you be able to tell me where the train

Station is please?

-  What’s your name? à Could you tell me your name please?

B.  Write a polite sentence for each request

-  Ask to borrow a pen à Would you mind lending me a pen please?

-  Ask for help carrying boxes à Could I possibly ask you to help me carry these

boxes?

-  Ask your friend to buy you a à If it’s not too much trouble, could you get me a

drink when they go to the shops drink in the shops please?

-  Ask a customer to phone à If it’s not too much trouble, could you phone back later when you will have back later? And I will have that

the information ready information ready for you then.

·  When making plans, ‘suggest’ rather ‘demand’ so the other person has the opportunity to express what they would like

-  There’s supposed to be a good cafe on Wicklow Street, would you like to try it?

-  Do you feel like going to the park?

-  Shall we say six o’clock?

-  Perhaps we could go to the shops first?

Or else say what you would like to do but follow it up with…

-  If it suits you?

-  Does that sound ok to you?

·  Requests which are urgent or potentially difficult often benefit from a lead-in

If you have a request which is urgent or a request which could sound accusatory (both types could place pressure on the person being asked), it can help to include a lead-in where you explain why you need the person to do the thing you are requesting so as to soften the request.

Example 1: A friend of yours has borrowed a DVD of yours which she has forgotten to return and you have phoned her to ask for it back.

-  Begin with a bit of small talk

e.g. ‘Hi Sara, how are you?’ ‘Did you have a good weekend?’

-  Avoid embarrassing your friend or sound as if you are accusing her so ask/talk about the DVD rather than asking directly to have it returned and emphasising the fact she has not returned it so far.

e.g. ‘Did you ever get the chance to watch the DVD?’

-  Let her know in a non-pressured way you would like it back

e.g. ‘I was saying to Mark we might watch it together so when you’re finished with it let me know and I’ll pick it up from you.’

Note: this approach will only work with people who use indirect communication, if you find they do not take the hint, you are then warranted to ask in a more direct fashion (although still politely).

e.g. ‘Would you mind if I got the DVD back from you this Weekend?’

Example 2: You are working in an office and waiting to receive some work from a co-worker. They have not emailed you the work and you are fast approaching the deadline. You need email your co-worker and ask for the work.

-  In order to avoid sounding accusatory by pointing out their slowness and creating tension, ask how the work is going rather than asking why they haven’t sent the work to you already.

e.g. ‘How are you getting on with the financial report?

Or

‘I was just wondering whether you have much work left to do on the financial report?

-  Emphasise the deadline is approaching so they understand it’s urgent

e.g. ‘Once I get the figures from you I have to start compiling my presentation to give to the committee on Tuesday’.

-  Request what you need and show appreciation

e.g. ‘So if you could email the report to me as soon as you have it done I’d really appreciate it’

Activity 2, Making Requests, parts C & D

·  Ask the students to work in pairs and complete parts C&D of the worksheet for Activity 2. (They can either write out their responses or do in the form of a role-play)

Possible answers are shown below:

C.  Making plans

I was thinking that perhaps we could go to the cinema tomorrow evening if you feel like it? There’s supposed to be a good film on at 7 o’clock if that suits you?

D.  Explanation for your request

Hi, I was just calling to see how you are getting on with my car that I dropped in earlier?

You see I have to go to visit my cousin at 5, so it’d be great if you could let me know as soon as it’s finished and I will come and pick it up.

______

Rule Number 2: Always refuse offers/suggestions in a polite manner

People who use indirect communication will avoid saying ‘no’ if it could cause offense or appear insensitive.

Activity 2, Refusals

·  Break the students up into pairs and make sure they have the ‘Refusal’ section on the Activity 2 worksheet in front of them.

·  One student asks the first question and then other student has to think of a polite response to refuse the offer/invitation. For the second question they swap over and the other student asks the question etc.

·  Once they have come up with polite negative responses for each question, go through the responses along with the suggested ones and explanations given below:

-  Would you like a cup of tea?

-  No, I’m fine, thank you.

A simple question such as ‘would you like a cup of tea?’ can be replied to with a ‘no thank you’ -the person does not have to give much time or effort to make a cup of tea and therefore it should not cause offense if you decline.