Love Your Neighbor, Love Yourself: Building Healthy Relationships Teachers’ Guide,
Revision possibilities:
Add more variations for younger students
Chart format vs. narrative, less explanation, leave more up to the educator
Introduction note on teaching tough, “touchy” topics?
Love Your Neighbor, Love Yourself: Building Healthy Relationships[1]
Educator Guide Created by Amy Dorsch
Key to Symbols:
Page numbers from Love Your Neighbor Sourcebook
Grey Box- Shabbat-friendly alternative to activity
Box- Key Concept, Big Idea or Essential Question
Activity
Alternative for younger participants (below 6th grade)
Taking it Home/Application to “real life”
A note on timing: Time frames were not indicated in these lesson plans. Depending on the time slot you have, you can stretch the lesson with a longer discussion, give learners more time for activities, or shorten the lesson by leaving out certain parts or cutting the discussion time down. These lessons are meant to be learner-centered, flexible (if they’re “into” one element of the lesson plan, you may not necessarily want to cut off the discussion), definitely adaptable!
A note on materials: The purpose of this Teacher’s Guide is to help you utilize the Love Your Neighbor: Building Healthy Relationships sourcebook. Lessons depend on using this book. You may add your own creative elements to the lessons by changing the set induction to include something else you found online or a song, video, image, etc. Due to copyright issues, we were limited with the materials we were able to include and kept outside materials to a minimum. Do not let this inhibit your own creativity!
Unit 1: Introduction
Jewish Value/Mitzvah: Defining and understanding Ve’ahavta L’reyacha Kamocha
Session 1: Me, You and Us: Living in a World of Others
Session 2: Ve’ahavta: Love for Myself, Love for Another (Bein Adam L’atzmo)
Session 3: L’reyacha: Friendship, being a good friend (Bein Adam L’chavero)
Session 4: Kamocha: Choosing a Friend, Having a friend
Session 1: Me, You and Us
Living in a World of Others
Goals:
· Participants will define the term relationships through mitzvot of Bein Adam L’chavero (person-person) and Bein Adam L’atzmo (person-self), both types embodying the relationship of Bein Adam LaMakom (person-God).
· Participants will explore the different communities of others of which they are a part and their role in those communities.
· Participants will understand that they live in a world connected to others. Their attitude and interaction toward others in their different communities will help them understand what is meant to Love Your Neighbor, Love Yourself.
Materials: Soureboks, pens, pencils, flip chart/poster paper and markers if you choose to do activities on flip chart paper.
Time frame: 1.5 hours
Step 1: Hook/Set Induction
Have group members form a circle. Explain that we are all connected to others according to the different communities to which we belong. Ask for one person to start by mentioning a community he/she belongs to such as a grade at school or a soccer team. Someone who also belongs to such community should reach his/her arm out and grab the hand of the person who started. Ask for another volunteer and repeat the process until you have formed a human web or “pretzel” where everyone is connected by their different, but same communities.
Step 2: Discussion
· What did you find interesting about this exercise?
· What does it teach you/prove to you?
· What does this teach us in particular about relationships and about our connections to others?
· Did you include your online communities (blogs, social networking media) as part of your communities? Do these count as “communities of others?” Do the same rules of interaction apply?
Sample responses: We’re all connected, in same communities, in different ways, but all part of communities of others.
Step 3: Introduce Concept
Core Concept : Connectedness to others, communities of others: What does this look like and how do we define our own communities and relationships to others?
Explain idea of Global World and constant connectedness to communities of others. Even when we are alone, if we are watching TV, texting or online, we are connected to others. Whether you play soccer, or simply go to school and nowhere else, you are part of community of others. We do not live in a world of isolation. We live our lives according to interactions with others. We call this interaction with others relationships.
Pages 1, 5-12
Step 4: Introduce Jewish Concepts
1. Jewish concept of community and connectedness to others
2. Jewish concept of our treatment of others
Explain that you looked at the different connections you had in the opening activity. What connections do you share as Jews?
Page 5- do activity in box on things we share as Jewish community members, read texts 1 and 2 on page 5 and answer questions provided (you may also include Pirkei Avot text on page 8 here as well, emphasizing the need to be part of different communities). Paraphrase or read bottom paragraph, continue on to page 6 and stop at activity box.
Explain that it is not enough to know that we are always connected to others, in Judaism, it is how we connect with others that is also a key value, how we treat others through our connections and interactions that matters more than anything. Actions speak louder than knowledge (you may refer to Hillel/Shammai debate on study vs. action, but not necessarily)
Read texts on page 1 and Talmud text and page 2. Pose some of the questions provided and ask for their definition of Ve’ahavta L’reyacha Kamocha (VLK). You can try to explain it as a whole or break it down by word. Explain that you will further explore this idea throughout your discussion on relationships. (Session 2 will focus specifically on defining this text.) This is one (if not, the most) of the most important concepts in Jewish tradition, as expressed by Rabbi Hillel.
For fun: Challenge them to think of any pop culture songs that reflect these ideas.
Leon on Me, We’re All In This Together, We are Family, That’s what Friends are For, You’ve Got A Friend in Me, I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends, etc.
Explain: As you begin your exploration of the idea of VLK as defining your relationships with others, first define the types of relationships you have with others. To what communities do you belong? What are the types of relationships you have? Who do you interact with most and at what level do you place those interactions?
Step 5: Personalize it! The Types and Levels of your Interactions with Others
*Activities can be done in small groups or chevrutot. Use flip chart paper and markers if you wish to make the visuals in the book larger.
Option 1: Pie chart activity on page 9
Option 2: Human Pyramid, activity page 10
Shabbat: For pie chart activity, do a human pie chart using a pre-drawn pie chart on paper and construction paper “pie pieces” or use human bodies to indicate lines of the pie chart.
Human Pyramid Activity- use bodies to indicate each layer of your pyramid
Have participants share their responses both in terms of levels and priorities of relationships.
Look at the different types of relationships in Judaism, outlined on page 11. Ask group to categorize some of the relationship examples previously discussed into the Bein Adam L’atzmo, Bein Adam L’chavero and Bein Adam LaMakom and decide which level(s) they feel is most important/priority to them right now.
Step 6: Discussion
Pose some of the questions provided in the discussion in the book as well as some other key questions:
· Do you make time for your relationship “Bein Adam L’atzmo? Can you love/appreciate your neighbor without first loving yourself?
· What are some of the toughest challenges with relationships in each category?
· Do you often struggle with each of these three types? In what ways?
· With which relationship type are you most confident? What could help you strengthen the other two?
· Are you comfortable with the Bein Adam LaMakom relationship? How do the other two reflect the person-God relationship? How do positive interactions between self and others exemplify a positive relationship with God (you will explore this idea in other sessions)?
· How does our discussion on the different communities of which we are a part tie into these categories of relationships, the varying levels of relationships and how we treat others in those communities? How do the Jewish texts we looked at help us better understand our role as individual members of communities of others and how we behave towards others in our different communities (inter-dependence on others, respect for others, love for others)
[if time permits or the participants are well responsive to this part of the discussion, you may try the activity on page 12].
Step 7: Wrap Up and Taking It Home
Wrap up discussion by reiterating key points of your discussion on belonging to different communities and the types and levels of our relationships and in particular, Jewish text highlights:
· Love Your Neighbor text- page 1
· Talmud Text “the rest is commentary”- page2
· Hillel text- page 5
· Types of relationships- page 11
Taking it Home/Application to “real life”
Focus on the pie chart activity on page in more detail. Do you think you need to change your relationship priorities and where you focus your efforts and energies? Do you give yourself (Bein Adam L’atzmo) enough “me time?” You need this! Do you give your parents the kavod of spending time with them? How about your siblings? Do you spend 5 minutes alone with God each day? Do you spend enough time interacting with your teachers at school? Look at your relationship pie chart and try to refocus your energies and priorities so that you feel you have a nice balance among your different communities of others and between Bein Adam L’atzmo, L’chavero and LaMakom.
Session 2: Ve’ahavta: Love for Myself, Love for Another
Defining and Exploring Love Your Neighbor, Love Yourself
Session 1 Recap:
· We live within communities of others, in constant interaction with other people, with ourselves and with God.
· Our interaction with communities of others are on varying degrees and levels, categorized by Bein Adom L’atzmo, L’chavero and LaMakom
· Judaism places the highest value on interaction with others through the mitzvah of Ve’ahavta L’reyacha Kamocha, and its associated texts.
Materials:
· Sourcebooks
· Sheets of 8.5x11 printer paper
· Markers
· Tape
· Magazines and glue (if doing part 1 of activity on page 64)
Session 2 Goals:
· Participants will further explore and define Ve’ahavta L’reyacha Kamocha: Love Your Neighbor, Love Yourself
· Participants will understand the individual as part of the other, as inter-connected
· Participants will understand that in order to treat another with kavod (respect) and dignity, one must first appreciate or value oneself, which is often harder to do.
Core Concept: Different ways to define VLK, but focus is on loving oneself to love another. We are all inter-connected. To love, appreciate or value another, we must see ourselves as part of the other and love ourselves to love another.
Step 1: Hook/Set Induction
Split the group into three. Give everyone a piece of construction paper. Group 1 will draw out their “head,” either what their face looks like or the intellectual or emotional qualities they possess as individuals. So, Jonny will draw his head, Rachel will draw hers, and label it according to how she/he views her/himself, using only positive qualities. Group 2 will draw the body- what each individual is capable of from neck to waist. It can be serious or humorous but must be positive and individualized. The third group will draw themselves from waist to toes, explaining what he/she is capable of or positive associations with that part of the body.
Shabbat: Instead of drawing, have each person come up with adjectives they would use to describe their section of the body (the use of that body part and physical features) so that when their pair up with the other sections, they can describe a complete person.
Step 2: Share your drawings
Have each person explain the qualities/features/character traits they came up with. Ask them to explain why they are proud of those features or why they value them and why this may have been a challenge to do.
Step 3: Continue activity to introduce big idea/core concept
Create new groups of three with a head, torso and legs in each group. Ask them to put their three papers together to form a human body or if on Shabbat, group together to describe their complete body.
Explain: What does this lesson teach us about ourselves as individuals and our connection to others? (this will help you recap session 1 if done previous to this one)
· We all have something great to contribute to others
· Each of us as individuals is connected to others as a whole
· Although often challenging, we must learn to value and appreciate ourselves first, before we can learn to appreciate others and understand our connection to others.