Lining Revision Checklist Lining Revision Checklist Lining Revision Checklist
Big Stuff / Outlaw List / Weak Words / Rhetorical DevicesHook Line
¨ Interesting
¨ Pulls the reader in
¨ Not a quote from the text
¨ Not about specific topic from text
¨ If a question, does not use “you” and is not superficial or mundane
¨ Don’t start with a yes/no question
Introduction
¨ Provides needed background for the reader
¨ Includes a quote or example
¨ Gets to the “Hidden Issue”
Thesis Statement
¨ Located as the last sentence of the Intro.
¨ Is only one sentence
¨ Is a list of 2 or 3 topics to be discussed
¨ Uses Parallelism
¨ Is opinion/ arguable and not a statement of facts
Body Paragraphs
¨ Contain a topic sentence
¨ Expands on idea listed in Thesis Statement
¨ Provide relevant examples
Counter-Claim
¨ Looks at the other side of the argument
¨ Provides at least 2 justification for the other side
¨ Provides a “shift” word: However, But, Therefore, Although, Even though
Refutation
¨ Explains why your opinion/ line of thinking is correct
¨ Provides at least one example
Conclusion
¨ Links back to Thesis
¨ Relates back to idea from your Hook Line
Call to Action
¨ Is the last line of essay
¨ Leaves the reader with an action to take / FIX THESE RIGHT NOW!!!
¨ Do not use: you, your, you’re, ya’ll
¨ Do not start a sentence with: “Well” or any conjunction: (FANBOYS) or “Because”
¨ Delete the use of: Things, Stuff, A lot, This, That, These, Those,
¨ Change weak To Be verbs (is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been, have, had, has) to Vivid verbs
¨ There/Their/They’re
¨ To/Too/Two
¨ Its/It’s
¨ Kinda/Kind of & Shoulda/ should have
¨ Use Active Voice instead of Passive Voice
¨ Everyone/Their or Everybody/Their
¨ A lot/Alot
¨ Using unparallel form when listing items in a sentence
¨ Don’t shift the verb tense; keep it in present tense
¨ Delete sentence fragments
¨ Delete Run-on sentences
¨ Don’t create comma splices
¨ No his/her or he/she – pick one and hold to it
¨ Vary diction for mundane words
¨ Vary these overused verbs: Use, Show, Says, States, Make, Think, Feel
¨ Make sure each sentence has proper ending punctuation
¨ Even if you are making an indirect citation, cite where the idea, thought, or quote came from
Examples & Evidence
¨ Uses Personal anecdotes
¨ Current Events
¨ Pop Culture Examples
¨ Literary Examples
¨ Historical Examples
¨ Scientific or Economic
Impact
¨ Local level
¨ State level
¨ National level
¨ International level / Delete from Introduction
¨ In this essay I will…
¨ I’m going to talk about…
¨ In this essay…
¨ I will be explaining…
¨ Have you ever…
¨ My opinion is…
¨ Imagine…
Delete from Anywhere in Essay
¨ I think…
¨ I believe…
¨ I feel…
¨ In my opinion…
¨ Any use of: you, your, you’re, ya’ll, I, me, my, us, we, our
¨ Exclamation points (you get 1 per essay)
¨ Do not start a sentence with: “Well” or any conjunction: (FANBOYS) or “Because”
¨ The fact that…
¨ Contractions
Delete from Transitions
¨ First/Firstly
¨ Second/Secondly
¨ Third/Thirdly
¨ Last/Lastly
¨ In conclusion
Delete from Conclusion
¨ After reading this essay..
¨ Thank you for reading my essay…
¨ As I said…
¨ As you can see…
¨ In conclusion…
¨ All in all…
¨ At the end of the day…
¨ So now that you agree with me…
Vicky Bryan © 2014 / ¨ Uses Parallel structure
¨ Uses Repetition only for emphasis and is not over used
¨ Rhetorical Questions help support the main idea and do not use “you”
¨ Analogies must be actual comparisons of 2 dissimilar things
¨ Analogies must be explained and relate back to your thesis
¨ Uses a variety of Rhetorical Devices throughout the essay
Voice & Style
¨ Ideas & events should be discussed in present tense
¨ Checked for repeated conjunctions: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so
¨ Checked for use of joining 2 independent clauses correctly – S&W 4&5 – with a comma & conjunction or with a semi-colon
¨ Uses a variety of sentence structure
¨ Uses a variety of elevated diction choices
¨ Read essay out loud at least once listening for flow and coherence
¨ Does not use texting or slang language
¨ Limit first person pronouns: I, me, my, we, us
¨ Vary your transitions between paragraphs
Title
¨ Doesn’t say the type of essay – ie: Persuasive
¨ Doesn’t repeat the prompt – ie: School Uniforms
¨ Is interesting & memorable & stands out
¨ No bold/ underline/ italics