Help Guide to Giving Writing Feedback

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HELP GUIDE TO GIVING WRITING FEEDBACK

Help Guide to Giving Feedback on Student Writing

Theresa Bell, Writing Centre Coordinator

Royal Roads University Writing Centre, October 2014

This guide is a tool for instructors who would like information and examples to assist them with giving feedback on student writing. The items are presented in alphabetical order within the categories, and the document should be used as a reference guide for instructors versus an instructional tool. If students need information on any of the issues addressed within the document, please invite them to contact the Writing Centre via WriteAnswers or direct them to the Writing Centre website. This guide is not intended to be a comprehensive overview of all elements of writing that could be addressed in feedback; rather, it presents information on common mistakes made by students. Please note that the information provided may not reflect professor- or program-specific expectations; instructors should check with their respective program offices to determine if there are program-specific requirements for student writing.

Please feel welcome to contact the Writing Centre if you have any questions on the contents of this guide.

Table of contents

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HELP GUIDE TO GIVING WRITING FEEDBACK

Grammar 4

Capitalization 4

Personal versus objective pronouns 4

Pronoun agreement 4

Pronoun point-of-view 4

Vague pronouns 5

Sentences 5

Active versus passive voice 5

Incomplete sentence/sentence fragment 6

Sentence length 6

Subject-verb agreement 6

Run-on sentences 7

Punctuation 7

Dash 7

Semicolons 7

Serial comma 8

Spacing after sentences 8

Structure 8

Paragraph conclusion sentences 8

Paragraph topic sentences 8

Thesis statement 8

Readability 9

Abbreviations 9

Consistent logic and direction throughout the paper 9

Transitions 9

Use of the first person point-of-view (e.g., I, my) 10

APA: Formatting 10

Alignment 10

Introduction heading 10

Fonts 11

Line-spacing 11

Margins 11

Page numbers 11

Running head 12

Section headings 12

APA: In-text citations 13

Anonymous as author 13

Corporate author 14

No date available 14

No listed author 14

Paraphrased text 14

Past or present perfect tense when quoting or paraphrasing material 15

Personal communication 15

Placement of citation 15

Quotations 16

Resources with the same author and publication years in in-text citations and references. 16

Secondary source citations 17

Year of publication 17

APA: References 17

Alphabetical order 18

Anonymous author 18

Distinguishing between resources with the same author and publication years 18

Hanging indent 19

No listed author 19

No publication or copyright date available 19

Ordering multiple resources with same author, published in different year 20

Ordering resources with the same author and publication years 20

Organizational names 20

References line-spacing 20

References page title 21

APA: Reference examples 21

Blog posting 21

Ebook chapter 21

Ebook (no DOI) 22

Ebook with DOI 22

Journal article, retrieved from an electronic database (no DOI) 22

Journal article, retrieved from an electronic database, with DOI 23

Online newspaper article 23

Online video (e.g., YouTube video) 24

Print book 24

Print book chapter 24

Report from a private organization, retrieved from the organization’s website 24

Specific section of a website 24

References 25

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HELP GUIDE TO GIVING WRITING FEEDBACK

Item / Rule / Example / Sample feedback / More information

Grammar

Capitalization

/ Capitalize:
·  I
·  Proper nouns (specific people, places, or things)
·  Titles that precede a person’s name
·  The first word of a sentence / Example: I learned about the presidents of the United States in school today.
Example: I learned about President Barack Obama, who is the president of the United States, in school today. / Incorrect capitalization / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/capitalization

Personal versus objective pronouns

/ Use the personal pronoun “who” to refer to people; use the relative pronoun “that” to refer to objects or animals. / Incorrect: I interviewed the scientist that conducted the research.
Correct: I interviewed the scientist who conducted the research. / Missing personal pronoun / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/parts-speech/pronouns/who-or-whom-or-which

Pronoun agreement

/ A singular pronoun must be used to replace/refer back to a singular noun; similarly, a plural pronoun must be used for a plural noun. / Example: The student will submit their paper by the due date.
Problem: “Student” is singular, so the singular “his or her” pronoun is necessary to have number agreement and avoid any sexist bias in the language by using only “his” or “her”. “Their” is a plural pronoun, not a neutral singular pronoun.
Solution: The student will submit his or her paper by the due date, or the students will submit their papers by the due date.
“Students”, “their” and “papers” are all plural, maintaining the plural form of the subject, verb, and object within the sentence. / Pronoun number disagreement / ·  http://library.royalroads.ca/grammar/number-agreement
·  http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing-tips/noun-and-pronoun-consistency

Pronoun point-of-view

/ There are three possible points-of-view, and the points-of-view should be kept consistent within sentences:
·  First person: I, me
·  Second person: you
·  Third person: he, she, they. / Example: When planning a response to an emergency, people should plan to be without food or water for three days. You can expect that there may also be power outages. They may also need to leave their homes.
Problem: “They” is the third-person pronoun that refers to “people”. “You” uses the second-person voice.
Solution: When planning a response to an emergency, people should plan to be without food or water for three days. They can expect that there may also be power outages. People may also need to leave their homes. / Pronoun point-of-view disagreement / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/parts-speech/pronouns/agreement-person-point-view

Vague pronouns

/ A pronoun takes the place of a noun (person, place, or thing) or refers back to a noun. A vague pronoun is ambiguous as to which noun it refers. / Example: Scientists determined that the three primary factors that influenced development were age, intelligence, and location. This was a surprise as no one had previously connected it to the problem.
Problem: It isn’t clear what is referred to by “this”, or which factor is referred to by “it”.
Solution: Scientists determined that the three primary factors that influenced development were age, intelligence, and location. Location was a surprise as no one had previously connected it to the problem. / Vague pronoun / ·  http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/parts-speech/pronouns/avoid-vague-pronouns
·  http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing-tips/avoid-vague-pronouns

Sentences

Active versus passive voice

/ In the active voice, the noun does the action described by the verb to the subject of the sentence. In passive voice, the subject of the sentence is acted upon, and usually the agent of the action isn’t named. Active voice tends to be clearer, less wordy, and has the action of the sentence expressed at the beginning of the sentence. According to the American Psychological Association (APA) (2010) authors should use the active voice whenever possible (p. 77). / Example: The paper was submitted, graded, and then returned.
Problem: The sentence is in passive voice and doesn’t name who did the submitting, grading, and returning.
Solution in active voice: The student submitted the paper, and then the professor graded it and returned it. / Passive voice / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/parts-speech/verbs/passive-versus-active-verbs

Incomplete sentence/sentence fragment

/ The sentence has a subject and a verb, but is missing the rest of the sentence in order to make sense. Usually authors created sentence fragments by placing a period where a comma is actually required. / Incorrect: Making up her mind quickly. Sarah decided to buy the red car.
Correct: Making up her mind quickly, Sarah decided to buy the red car. / Sentence fragment
Incomplete sentence / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/sentences/sentence-errors/sentence-fragment

Sentence length

/ A general guideline for sentence length is that one sentence shouldn’t exceed 25 words. Sentences that are longer than 25 words tend to be hard to follow because there are too many subjects for one sentence. / Example: When you write a sentence, it is important to keep in mind that your reader must be able to remember what you said at the beginning of the sentence or else they won’t be able to remember what you wanted them to be thinking about from the beginning through to the end of the sentence, which means that they probably won’t be able understand the key message of the sentence (71 words).
Problem: The sentence, though punctuated correctly, is too long.
Solution: If a sentence is too long, readerswill notremember the point of the message (15 words). / Watch sentence length – keep to approx. 25 words max. / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/sentences/sentence-errors/run-sentences

Subject-verb agreement

/ If the subject of the sentence is singular/plural, the verb must match in number. Therefore, a plural subject needs to be matched with a plural verb. / Incorrect: The results (plural) demonstrates (singular) the effectiveness of the study.
Correct: The results (plural) demonstrate (plural) the effectiveness of the study.
Incorrect: Everyone (singular because it’s a group noun) are (plural) leaving now.
Correct: Everyone (singular) is (singular) leaving now. / Subject-verb disagreement / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/sentences/sentence-errors/subject-verb-agreement

Run-on sentences

/ A run-on sentence isn’t just a sentence that has gone on for too long. The term refers to a specific grammatical mistake. A run-on sentence is a sentence created by incorrectly joining two independent clauses. / Run-on sentence: My dog is a Golden Retriever, she is friendly.
Correct versions:
·  My dog is a Golden Retriever, and she is friendly.
·  My dog is a Golden Retriever; she is friendly.
·  My dog is a Golden Retriever. She is friendly. / Run-on sentence / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/sentences/sentence-errors/run-sentences

Punctuation

Dash

/ “Use a dash to indicate only a sudden interruption in the continuity of a sentence. Over-use weakens the flow of material” (American Psychological Association (APA), 2010, p. 90). / Authors most often use dashes when they are unsure of the correct wording or punctuation. In general, dashes should be avoided in formal academic writing because they’re usually used incorrectly.
Incorrect: The researchers contacted 100 participants – 30 of whom were in British Columbia – but only 20 replied.
Correct: The researchers contacted 100 participants, 30 of whom were in British Columbia, but only 20 replied. / Avoid dashes in formal writing / See “Punctuating sentences: Commas, semicolons, and colons” (Available at http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/punctuation).

Semicolons

/ Semicolons have two functions:
1.  To join 2 independent clauses without using a conjunction (APA, 2010, p. 89).
2.  To separate list items when the items have commas within them (p. 90). / Incorrect: The researchers presented their paper at the conference; and the paper was also published in a book.
Correct: The researchers presented their paper at a conference; the paper was also published in a book.
Incorrect: Some cities in Canada are Victoria, British Columbia, Calgary, Alberta, Winnipeg, Manitoba, and Montreal, Quebec.
Correct: Some of the provincial capital cities in Canada are Victoria, British Columbia; Edmonton, Alberta; Winnipeg, Manitoba; and Toronto, Ontario. / Incorrect semi-colon / See “Punctuating sentences: Commas, semicolons, and colons” (Available at http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/punctuation).

Serial comma

/ As per APA rules, “use a comma . . . between elements (including before and and or) in a series of three or more items” (APA, 2010, p. 88). / Incorrect: The study measured participants’ ability to recognize colours, sounds and shapes.
Correct: The study measured participants’ ability to recognize colours, sounds, and shapes. / Missing serial comma / See “Punctuating sentences: Commas, semicolons, and colons” (Available at http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/grammar/punctuation).

Spacing after sentences

/ Either one or two spaces. / Spacing between sentences / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing-tips/spaces-after-period.

Structure

Paragraph conclusion sentences

/ Each paragraph should have a conclusion that wraps up the contents of the paragraph and reminds the reader of how the paragraph topic connects to the thesis statement. / Example: Therefore, considering that leaders are responsible for promoting excellence in their employees, it is important that they are first able to address their own strengths and challenges before they provide guidance to others in an effort to improve productivity and the effectiveness of the unit. / Missing/unclear conclusion / See “Writing an academic paragraph” (Available from http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/structure/paragraphs).

Paragraph topic sentences

/ Since each paragraph focuses on one topic, every paragraph should have a topic sentence that identifies the focus for the rest of the paragraph. A common error in academic writing is that the topic sentence doesn’t reflect the rest of the paragraph. / Example: Self-awareness is essential to skilled leadership because a self-aware individual can identify his or her strengths and challenges and address them appropriately.
The rest of the paragraph should define self-awareness and explain why being able to identify and address strengths and challenges is important in the development of a skilled leader. / Missing/unclear topic sentence / See “Writing an academic paragraph” (Available from http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/structure/paragraphs).

Thesis statement

/ The thesis statement, which appears in the introduction, should be one or two sentences that present an overview of the topic to be addressed within the paper. For novice authors, an easy way to start a thesis statement is “In this paper, I will…”. / Poor: After reading the introduction, the reader can’t identify the focus of the paper.
Better: In this paper, I will examine the three primary qualities required for good leadership.
Better still: To increase the efficiency and efficacy of their organizations, leaders within the field of health care management must possess self-awareness, empathy, and excellent communication skills. / Missing/weak thesis statement / http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre/writing/structure/thesis-statements

Readability

Abbreviations

/ Authors should "use abbreviations sparingly. Although abbreviations are sometimes useful for long, technical terms in scientific writing, communication is usually garbled rather than clarified if, for example, an abbreviation is unfamiliar to the reader" (APA, 2010, p. 106).
Abbreviations should be used because they make understanding the text easier for the reader, versus to save the author from having to type out the full text every time: / Unnecessary abbreviation / Search WriteAnswers for “abbreviation” or see pages 106-107 in the APA manual.

Consistent logic and direction throughout the paper