Helicopter Parents: Ground Yourselves During Your Child’s Job Search

By Eric D. Disharoon, Esq.

As parents you have made a significant investment in your child’s future, so it’s only natural to want to do all you can to give your child the best chance to succeed (and not end up with a 24-year-old living in your basement). Your guidance and experience certainly can help; however, it is important to know when your assistance can become a hindrance…particularly in the workplace.

Helicopter parenting is a phenomenon in which an overprotective parent discourages a child’s independence by swooping in to help their child at the first sign of a challenge or adversity.

Recently, helicopter parents have begun contacting their children’s employers to negotiate benefits packages, follow up after poor or merely satisfactory performance evaluations, or to express interest in an internship.

In the current economy, employers are being inundated with applications from strong candidates. Think about it. Who makes for a more desirable employee: a confident adult who is capable of achieving on their own (because they were allowed to make mistakes and learn from them) or someone who runs to their parents at the slightest difficulty? I know who I would choose.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to give your child the benefit of the life lessons you have learned (most likely gained through your mistakes), as long as you do it the right way.

The following assistance is appropriate (if requested):

· reviewing your child’s resume and offering constructive criticism;

· submitting their resume to any contacts you may have (without shoving it down the throat of every manager/employer you know);

· helping them prepare for an interview with practice questions and advice on appropriate attire, and

· sharing strategies that worked for you when dealing with a difficult co-worker or supervisor.

These tactics are inappropriate:

· allowing your child to embellish their background (employers generally have policies which allow them to terminate employees who provided false information during the application process, regardless of their performance since);

· accompanying them into the interview (yes, this has happened), or

· contacting an employer directly.

In short, share the wisdom you have gained with your young adult, but please don’t hover over them in the workplace. Like many states, Maryland is an at-will employment state. Unless there is an employment contract for a specified term, an employee can be fired at any time with or without cause, with or without notice, so long as the termination is not discriminatory. Although well-intentioned, your hovering ultimately could cost them their job.

Eric D. Disharoon is an associate with the Baltimore-based law firm of Adelberg, Rudow, Dorf & Hendler, LLC, who focuses on employment law, business/corporate law and intellectual property. For more information, call 410-539-5195 or visit www.AdelbergRudow.com.