My Family 4
My Family
Diane Headapohl
Wayne State University
SW 3510
Introduction
My name is Diane Headapohl and I come from a great family, a family that is not perfect and has its problems, but is loving and supportive towards one another. First of all, what is family? According to Ashford and Lecroy (2010, 2008) family is when “two or more people construct an intimate environment that they define as a family, an environment in which they generally will share a living space, commitment, and a variety of the roles and functions usually considered part of family life.”
When I asked my parents about our family and where we come from, I got a similar theme. My family goes back generations and shows some similarities. One is that we all come from Europe, we have history of heart disease and cancer, and finally and most importantly, there is a long history of people suffering from substance abuse. Many factors effect who I am, and especially knowing where my family came from and how they were socially, psychologically and biophysically. My family does not dictate exactly who I am today, but it does play a large role in how I see the world, and I am grateful to be born into a loving home.
Social Dimension
First of all, family is defined many different ways. Family is a social entity. It is made up of different people playing different roles that all affect each other according to Ashford and Lecroy, (2010,2008). My current family is not a nuclear family, although I was born into a nuclear family. In my household, our family that all lives there includes, my six-year old son, me (a twenty five year old single mother), my mom who is forty four and my father who is fifty three. My son and I are not a typical family, but now are becoming more common and accepted in society to have children and not be married. Bianchi, (2011) says 40 percent of the babies being born in the US are to unmarried mothers. Although Jackson and I are a single mother family, I come from a long line of nuclear families
My mother and father were married before I was born, however, my mother was pregnant first and then they got married. She was also very young and still in high school when she pregnant with my brother. My father married her and they remained married until 2004, when they got divorced. The divorce was really hard on me, and they stayed apart for about 6 years. During the time they were apart, I had my son Jackson, who brought them back together in a way because both of my parents wanted to be very close to Jackson. They got remarried in 2011. Growing up, I was in a nuclear family household, which consisted of my mother and father and my brother and I. I had a great childhood as the result of living in my household. The divorce affected the whole family, and it is rare that they chose to remarry each other. Changes in the “typical” family…add challenges that may challenge those of a traditional family (Ashford, LeCroy 2011, 2008).
My parents both come from nuclear families, and when they were growing up, it was less common to experience divorce. Their parents also came from nuclear families.
My father was a child growing up in the 60s in a typical traditional family, with his mother, father, brother and sister. In the 1960’s, it was less likely that families would get divorces or be headed by a single parent. Livingston and Parker (2011) say that only 11% of children lived apart from their fathers in 1960, versus 27% this current year. My grandmother stayed at home with her children and my grandfather worked at an automobile plant, earning enough to live in the suburbs in a typical setting.
My mother came from a similar family. She was born in 1967, so she was raised in the 70s. She also had a father who worked while her mother stayed at home to “rear” the children. My mother had two sisters. It may seem that my mother had the “perfect” family, but she was constantly moving and changing schools. This was because my grandparents suffered from alcoholism and it affected the whole family as a result. I loved and cared about my grandparents a lot, and so did their children, however their alcoholism has changed the dynamics of the family system. Ashford and LeCroy (2011, 2008) say that the family is increasingly being recognized as a social system, a whole which consists of parts that all affect one another, and each helps the functioning on the whole.
My family may not have been perfect; however, we all have been blessed to always have enough money, and adequate opportunities towards all of our resources. My family has always had jobs, and probably considered working middle class. My mother graduated from college, my brother did and I am attending, all from Wayne State actually. Times have changed, and that is why I must be a good role model and show my son Jackson, how important education is for your future in this society. I learned this from my mother, who went to school while raising two kids, so I know there is no excuse for me.
Psychological Dimension
Psychology helps us define how we utilize our environment, and how we organize and motivate human thought, emotion and behavior (Ashford and LeCroy 2011, 2008). A lot of what I believe and think is right, my language, the way I communicate and the nature of my attitudes and emotions come from being raised in the family I was raised in.
First of all, who am I? I am a single mother, who is Caucasian and I am a member of my family group. Ashford and Lecroy (2011, 2008) say that when a person defines herself as a member of a group, the characteristics of this group provide standards that the person uses for future though and actions. There have been many things that have changed the way I think and behave because of my family. One is that education is the key to a good future, my mother taught me to work hard and that it doesn’t matter if you have children or not because school is that important. Also, they fully support me in school because of their efforts, like watching my son, letting me live in their home so I have no rent to pay, and by giving me a laptop. These things displayed by my family have motivated me to do my best in school, and to be a role model for Jackson. Observational learning occurs when learning, as in learning how important education is, happens when people observe others, like me observing my mother and my son observing me, and learn new behaviors as a result of those observations (Ashford and LeCroy 2011, 2008). I also get enough support where I am not overwhelmed and pushing stress onto my son, which occurs when people undergo stress.
Even though my parents were both raised in a time when divorce was less common, which was modeled to them by each of their parents, they went through a divorce which occurred in 2004. I was a senior in high school. The divorce was difficult for everyone. This presented psychological crisis for members of my family. During this time, we also had lost my paternal grandfather, and my maternal grandparents. This put everyone at risk for psychological harm. I was suffering from depression, low school attendance, and drug and alcohol abuse.
My mother explained that when she was growing up, in her family it was not appropriate to share feelings, issues or problems with each other. My father’s family was the same way. Therapy was not something that was common among families in the 60s and 70s. They both dealt with problems within their own selves, or with friends, never with their parents. This is different than my childhood experience growing up. I had bouts of depression when I was a child, and my parents had me see a counselor. I was raised in a household where it was okay to talk about what’s going on in your life and how you feel. So there was a change in the way that our family dealt with life crisis and such.
My maternal grandmother, my nana, had suffered from post-partum depression after she had my aunt Debbie. She was very depressed and actually not making rational choices. My grandfather had gone home from work one day and my aunt was put in the closet when she was a newborn. My aunt Debbie was then sent to live with her grandmother, or my great-grandmother on my grandfather’s side until my nana improved. Postpartum mood disorders have serious clinical, psychological, and social consequences…. The recovery from delivery and the demands of newborn care may delay diagnosis until the mother and child have already suffered a great deal (Stotland 2004).
My family is for the most part is pretty psychologically stable, except for some episodes of depression and alcoholism. The way we have been learning to deal with mental problems has changed a great deal as well, in my opinion in relation to our changing society. What was in the past, such as keeping everything to you, is now different with much more information and access to therapists and psychiatrists.
Biophysical Dimension
I believe that our genes, our medical family history and how our overall physical health is are a huge part in who a person is. In my family we have a few health disparities that may be genetic that may one day affect my health or my children’s health. They include a history of alcoholism, high blood pressure, heart disease and cancer.
First of all, alcoholism is prevalent on both sides of my family. My dad was treated in the past for substance abuse and went to rehab for his problem and actually suffered from a stroke when I was in 1st grade. This also ties into our family history of heart disease and high blood pressure which was passed on to my dad through his father, who died from a heart attack. Alcoholism also was a part of my mother’s life growing up, with her parents both suffering from the disease. They were heavy drinkers their whole lives and because of their lifestyles, they suffered with health issues along with social and psychological issues. They both had parents who drank as well. Coyle (1999) says the fact that several genes contribute individually and in aggregate to the heritable risk for alcoholism, as well as the confounding issue of social factors in specific populations. The strength of this study is that it represents the largest family sample collected for the purpose of identifying genetic factors contributing to alcoholism. So there is evidence that alcoholism is in our genes. I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous because of my alcoholism. I have gotten into legal matters, family troubles and major depression because of my drinking. I have been going to AA meetings for over two and a half years and my life is dramatically changed for the better because of it. My great-aunt on my mother’s side is also in AA, and so is my mother’s cousin and my two cousins attend AA meetings as well. Tucker (2003) says that 12 step programs are as effective as treatment programs, and this shows because I had made steps to stay abstinent from drugs and alcohol and my life has remarkably improved.
The next health disparity I would like to discuss is my nana and her 11 year battle with breast cancer. She found a lump in her breast and then underwent surgeries and radiation until she passed away in 2004. Ashford and LeCroy (2011, 2008) explain that any living organism can get cancer and the disease involves improper, purposeless cell growth. This disease is also the leading cause of death in the United States, with only heart disease beating it (Ashford and Lecroy 2011, 2008). My mother, my aunts, my cousins and I will all have to be extra precautious about early detection of breast lumps because of our nana. Komaroff (1996) stated that in certain high-risk families, women with defective BRCA1 genes have an 80% to 90% lifetime risk for breast cancer. Early detection is one of the most preventable ways to help save your life from this terrible genetic disease.
In conclusion, my family history of heart disease, alcoholism and substance abuse, and my nana dying of breast cancer makes me who I am and helps me to predict what may happen to me in the future. Family genetics are so important when evaluating who a person is.
Summation
All in all, my family is a part of who I am and how I handle life today. In the social aspect from being raised in a nuclear family and now raising my son with my parents in an extended family, to the psychological aspect, which includes depression and mental illness, to finally my biophysical aspect which includes family history of alcoholism, cancer and heart disease. These things are all pieces of my holistic self today, but they do not determine all of who I am.
Conclusion
In conclusion, my ethnocentricity helps me to prepare myself to be a better social worker. All of the things that have occurred in my family help me to have more understanding and empathy towards other people. My values as a social worker show that through imperfect situations, like alcoholism in your home, show that it is okay to be a human being and have issues. Every culture has strengths and weakness, which are all okay. I do value family as one the most important things in life, and I feel that value will help me to empower families help each other. Without some of my family supporting me, teaching me and sharing information about who they are, then I would not be on the same path I am on today. I am so grateful for the good and the bad parts of my family because they make me a more diverse person with the ability to relate more to other people.
References
Ashford and LeCroy (2010,2008). Human Behavior in the Social Environment: A Multidimensional Perspective-Fourth Edition. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Carnage Learning.
Bianchi S. (2011)Family Change and Time Allocation in American Families The ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science November 2011 638: 21-44, doi:10.1177/0002716211413731