Claim: Annie Sullivan S Determination Helped Her Become an Inspiration to Many People When

Claim: Annie Sullivan’s determination helped her become an inspiration to many people when she successfully taught a blind-deaf child, Helen Keller, to communicate with others.

First draft of intro ¶:

There are many stories of inspirational people. One story is of Annie Sullivan. Although she had a difficult childhood and many problems with her vision, she was able to overcome these challenges. Annie Sullivan’s determination helped her become an inspiration to many people when she successfully taught a blind-deaf child, Helen Keller, to communicate with others.

Revised draft of intro ¶:

· eliminated all “to be” verbs

· revised sentence structure & diction (word choice)

· changed verbs to present tense for literature

Literature often tells the stories of inspirational people. One such story reflects the life of Annie Sullivan. Although Sullivan had a difficult childhood and vision problems, she overcame these disabilities. William Gibson’s play The Miracle Worker depicts Sullivan’s struggles and early success as she searches for purpose in her life. Her determination helps her become an inspiration to many people when she successfully teaches a blind-deaf child, Helen Keller, to communicate with others.