Chapter 5: the Illustration Essay

Chapter 5: The Illustration Essay

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vLbMuPkqGIw/TNg88w6txHI/AAAAAAAAHr0/--7LM5_YXyQ/s400/thagomizer.jpg

The first time many students hear the term, “Illustration Essay,” they think: “What does that mean? Illustrations are drawings they put in books. What do illustrations have to do with writing?” Surprisingly, the little known Illustration Essay is the most important essay for you to learn. That’s because an Illustration Essay models the organization you use to write all kinds of essays in college, work, and in life. If you learn to write an effective Illustration Essay, you’ll have the secret to effective writing.

The organization behind an Illustration Essay is simple: it’s writing that proves a point (The Thesis) by examples. Examples are just another word for the Specific Support we studied in the earlier chapters. Because the Illustration Essay most accurately models using Specific Support to prove your Thesis, it’s a great way to practice and improve your writing.

The Illustration Essay is often defined as “writing by example,” and that’s exactly what you’re doing: You’re giving examples – examples with details – to support your Thesis Statement.

Practice 1. “Writing by example” – Take a look at the following drafts of the same essay and decide which essay uses Examples to give you a better idea of what the writer is trying to prove about the Topic.

“Effects of Lack of Sleep”

Essay 1

I’m a student taking a full load of classes, and I work twenty hours a week so I can pay the tuition for college. With this busy schedule, I’ve realized there are many bad effects when I do not get enough sleep at night. The first effect is I tend to fall asleep in class. Falling asleep means I miss everything. It’s hard to concentrate when you haven’t had enough sleep. It’s hard to pay attention when you haven’t had enough sleep. I miss most of what the professor is lecturing on. I find myself nodding off and soon I’m asleep. I am doing nothing more than wasting my time in class.
Another effect of not getting enough sleep is that I lack energy. My body will not have much energy if I don’t get enough sleep because sleeping allows my body to rest and recharge. I am not lazy, but without sleep I feel low energy without the drive to complete my work. That lack of energy is almost all caused by not getting enough sleep. I know my low energy level could be solved if I just could get more sleep.
The third effect is the quality of my work won’t be very good. If I am tired, I don’t focus well and I won’t do well in college, at my job, or wherever I am. I am not happy with the quality of my work, but without enough sleep, I don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. I think the quality of work in college or at my job is dependent on how much sleep I have had. I am not happy with the quality of my work, but I know I could solve this problem by getting enough sleep.
These are some of the bad results I have experienced from not getting enough sleep. Don’t you think that after a while I would figure out that if I want to do well in life, I should get more sleep?

Essay 2

I’m a student taking a full load of classes, and I work twenty hours a week so I can pay the tuition for college. With this busy schedule, I’ve realized there are many bad effects when I do not get enough sleep at night. The first effect is I tend to fall asleep in class. Falling asleep means I miss everything. For example, last Sunday night I only got three hours of sleep because I stayed up late talking with a friend. That next day in my English class I was listening and the next thing I knew my professor was shaking me awake! I was definitely embarrassed, and I remembered none of what was covered including what we were assigned for homework and what our essay was on and when it was due.
Another effect of not getting enough sleep is that I lack energy. My body will not have much energy if I don’t get enough sleep because sleeping allows my body to rest and recharge. I have to wake up early to go to class. I have three classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, and two classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, all in the morning. After class, I have to go to work at Target. I’m at the cash register from 2:00 until 6:00, five days a week. Then when I finish work, I go back to the apartment, cook some dinner, and then I need to do homework for at least two hours a night. I cannot keep up with everything I have to do if I don’t get a good night’s sleep. I just don’t have the energy. Last week, for example, I ended up missing my classes on Wednesday, did not make it to work on Thursday, and failed to do my homework all week!
The third effect is the quality of my work won’t be very good. Without enough sleep, I make stupid mistakes at work, and I am not able to concentrate on my homework at night. As for that essay that was due in English, the best I could do was a “D,” which is not good enough. My professor told me I can do better, and I had to admit that he was right. I know that the quality of my work would improve significantly if I could get enough sleep.
These are some of the bad results I have experienced from not getting enough sleep. Don’t you think that after a while I would figure out that if I want to do well in life, I should get more sleep?

Which Essay uses Specific Examples to help the reader understand each Support Point?

___ Essay 1 ___ Essay 2

Not getting enough sleep?

http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper949/stills/436b1d3b197be-23-1.jpg

Here’s how the concept of Examples fits into the organizational structure of the Illustration Essay.

1. Introductory Paragraph –
a. Gets the readers’ interest
b. Sets the context for the paragraph/essay (provides background)
c. Thesis Statement (Topic + Main Idea) – The last sentence of the Introductory Paragraph
2. Support Paragraph One – Topic Sentence
a. General Support Sentence 1
b. Specific Support 1 – Example with details
3. Support Paragraph Two – Topic Sentence
a. General Support Sentence 2
b. Specific Support 2 – Example with details
4. Support Paragraph Three – Topic Sentence (The third reason your reader should believe your Thesis.)
a. General Support Sentence 3
b. Specific Support 3 – Example with details
5. Conclusion –
a. Restates the Main Idea (what you have proved in the essay in different words)
b. Takes the reader a step further

It’s the Examples or Illustrations in the Support Paragraphs that gives the Illustration Essay its name.

In the following Illustration Essay, the student writer uses the organizational structure outlined above. (We’ll use this essay as a model throughout the chapter.)

We’ve identified the organization of the essay using the following key:

· The Introduction designed to get the readers’ interest and give background to the essay is in Italics

· The Thesis Statement for the essay is underlined and in bold type;

· The Topic Sentence for each Support Paragraph is underlined;

· The Transitions for the Topic Sentence at the beginning of each Support Paragraph are in (parentheses).

· The Transitions for the Specific Support Sentences – the examples – are in [brackets].

· The General Support Sentences are in Blue Type;

· The Specific Support Sentences are in Red Type;

· The Conclusion that restates the Main Idea in different words is green, underlined type, and the Conclusion that takes the reader a step further is in Green Type.

1Brooke Stillman
3/10/09
ENG 090-501
Illustration Essay
2Informal Outline
Thesis Statement: My three obstacles in returning to college are time, lack of focus, and working two full-time jobs.
Support 1: Time
Support 2: Lack of focus
Support 3: Stamina
3Obstacles to Being in School Again
4I have been working as a teller in the banking industry for the past several years and have recently come to realize that I want to do more with my life. To be able to succeed in the area that I want to, I must get my accounting degree. Now that I have finally started taking classes, there are three major obstacles that I’m encountering along the way. 5Those three obstacles are time, lack of focus, and working two full time jobs while being a good mom to my son.
6 The 7(first) obstacle that is holding me back from pursuing my accounting degree is time. 8There never seems to be enough time in the day to finish everything. I wake up every morning at 6 am at the latest to get myself and my son Josh ready for the day. I get my son dropped off at daycare and get to work. When I’m off work at 5 pm, I pick Josh up and drive home. By the time we’re home and we’ve eaten dinner, it’s time to get him in the bathtub and then ready for bed. Once I get him to bed, I need at least twenty minutes to relax before I can begin focusing on doing homework. I find myself at the end of every day struggling to stay awake to complete all of my homework on time.
6A 7(second) obstacle is that I seem to have a very hard time focusing on my schoolwork. 8That lack of focus comes from being a single mom, working full time, becoming engaged and trying to plan a wedding, buying a new house, and going through a custody battle for my child. I just have so much going on it’s a challenge to give my complete attention to my schoolwork. 9[For example, yesterday], 10after I got my son to bed and started reading the chapter on the Civil War for my history class, a half hour went by before I realized that I was thinking of the custody battle with my husband and had not read a single line of the history chapter. I guess you could say it was the wrong war!
6(Last), 7having two jobs and taking care of my four-year old son seems to drain all the energy I have. 8My four-year old is a constant spitfire of energy that never seems to slow down. Josh can play all day and not get tired! 9[Last weekend], 10he was going strong all morning and most of the afternoon. I only knew he was tired because he started crying when I told him that the book he wanted me to read to him had been returned to the library, and no other book would substitute, not even the book he had been so excited about the day before when we checked it out from the library! I also work as a teller at a credit union and find it to be a stressful job as I constantly have to be in a good mood and talking to people. I get home at the end of the day and after putting my son to bed, the last thing that I want to do is get on my computer and work on school.
11Although there are a number of obstacles that get in my way of completing my classes, it is worth my time, focus, and energy. 12I know that one day I will be proud of myself for sacrificing these things in order to better myself and to better provide for my family. Until then, I will put forth one hundred percent into these classes so I can have the job that I desire. / 1At the upper left hand corner, include your Name, Date, Class, and Type of Essay – single spaced.
2Every essay you write in this class needs to have an Informal Outline, which contains the Thesis Statement and three main Support Points.
3 Capitalize the first letter in each word of your title (except for a, the, at, of, in and to unless one of these words begins the title). Center the title above the essay.
4The Introduction provides background to the essay, in this case the writer’s experiences that influenced her decision to return to college.
5The Thesis Statement has the Topic (returning to college) and the Main Idea (Those three obstacles: lack of focus, and working two full time jobs while being a good mom to my son.)
6Topic Sentence for Support Paragraph 1: (“The first obstacle to returning to college is time.”)
7Transition words signaling the first Support Point: “The (first) obstacle”
8 General Support Sentence that sets context for the specific example that follows: (“There never seems to be enough time in the day to finish everything.”)
9Specific Support – example with details. (I wake up every morning at 6 am…. struggling to stay awake to complete all of my homework on time.)
6Topic Sentence for Support Paragraph 2: (“a very hard time focusing on my schoolwork.”)
7Transition words signaling the second Support Point: “The (a second) obstacle”
8 General Support Sentence that sets context for the specific example that follows: (“There never seems to be enough time in the day to finish everything.”)
9 Transition Phrase from General to Specific Support. [“For example, yesterday”]
10Specific Support – example with details. (after I got my son to bed and started reading….it was the wrong war!)
6 Transition words signaling the third Support Point: “The (last) obstacle”
7Topic Sentence for Support Paragraph 3: (“having two jobs and taking care of my four-year old son seems to drain me from all the energy that I have.”)
8 General Support Sentence that sets context for the specific example that follows: (“My four-year old is a constant spitfire of energy…can play all day and not get tired!”)
9 Transition Phrase from General to Specific Support. [“Last weekend”]
10Specific Support – example with details. (he was going strong all morning and…. the last thing that I want to do is get on my computer and work on school.)
11 Conclusion that restates the Thesis in different words:
Original Thesis Statement: (“Those three obstacles [to returning to college] include lack of focus, and working two full time jobs while being a good mom to my son.”)
11Restated Thesis in the Conclusion: (“Those three obstacles are time, lack of focus, and working two full time jobs while being a good mom to my son.”)
12Conclusion takes the reader a step further: (“I know that one day I will be proud of myself….until then, I will put forth one hundred percent into these classes so I can have the job that I desire.”)

Brooke with her College Algebra textbook, and her son Josh holding his long-flying paper airplane!