Application For Permission To Date My Daughter

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation and an updated medical report from your Doctor.

1. Name ___________________________________________________

Date of Birth_____________________________________________

2. Height______________ Weight______________ I.Q. ________________ G.P.A.______________

3 . Social Security # ________________________ Driver’s License # __________________________

4. Boy Scout Rank_____________________________

5. Home Address ______________________________

City/State______________ Zip Code________ ____

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________

If No, EXPLAIN ________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married ____________

8. Do you own a van?_______ A truck with oversized tires?________ Do you have
an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo?__________
(If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions discontinue this application and leave the premises
immediately. I recommend RUNNING is a serpentine fashion)

9. In 50 words or less, what does “LATE” mean to you?

10. In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?

11. What church do you attend?_________________________________________ _______

How often do you attend?____________ ______________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, Pastor?____________

12. Answer the following questions by filling in the blank: please answer freely, ALL

answers are confidential

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is________________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my____________________________

c) A woman’s place is in the ___________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application doesn’t ask me is____________________________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is________________________

13. What do you want to be IF you grow up?

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST
OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINEESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

___________________________________________________
(Signature)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. If you attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing suits and carrying violin cases.