8 Mindful Steps to Happiness
By Guarantana
Compiled by Don Boice
Do you want to be happy, satisfied, content and have meaning? First, you need to define what those words mean to you, then you pursue them. One of our biggest hurdles is the subtle desire for things to be other than they are
Is your life one round of pleasure seeking activity after another? Is that how you define happiness?
How do you pursue this elusive happiness? The most direct way is the simple path of moderation. Guarantana explains it thus:
Live quietly; Act moderately; exercise regularly; live simply; meditate regularly; Discuss spiritual teaching daily; Work with a teacher/guide
A counselor might advise, “Slow down.” or “be mindful and live in the moment.” this does not magically guarantee everlasting happiness or joy. Those are feelings, which change as our mind shifts focus. It cannot stay forever, so trying to hang on to it is frustrating and impossible.
In my readings and experiences with happiness, I have found that the more I focus on myself, the less happy I am. I get self-absorbed and upset. This world is not about me, my happiness. Happiness is better seen as a by-product. If I seek just my happiness, I am miserable, as many world religions would suggest. When I do for others, let go of my needs, when I sacrifice or share, I am happier. Which level of happiness do I seek? Am I looking for the happiness that comes when I eat a candy bar or drink my coffee or am I looking for a level of purpose and meaning, which brings a deeper sense of appreciation and gratitude. How you define what you are looking for is really important.
Guarantana suggests this sequence: First clean up your morals, then concentrate your mind. See deeply into the truth of your situation. Tending to your spiritual development is a priority. Are you disciplined spiritually? He goes on to speak about the 8 precepts, which gives a clearer sense of the path.
Guarantana writes a good deal about “Right Speech.” From my point of view, this is essential for happiness as a community, as a family and how I speak to myself is important for my relationship with myself. Here is what he writes (I have shortened his writing and strongly encourage you to read his book),
“Our speech creates an environment that either contributes to happiness or destroys it.
Don’t lie (for our own advantage or the advantage of others) , tell the truth, be kind, is it beneficial, does it harm anyone. Is it necessary? To be necessary, it needs to be motivated by generosity, loving, kind and compassionate. Avoid useless chatter, gossip and rumors. Rumors are weapons. I look smart, incisive, smart or hip at another’s expense. Avoid malicious talk, intent to cause harm. Words are not to be used as weapons. Do my words reflect compassion and concern. Help and heal or do we wound and destroy? Harsh language-verbal abuse, profanity, sarcasm, hypocrisy, excessively blunt or belittling, criticism of personality
He considers taking a solemn vow- “I am determined not to say anything that hurts another person.”
Since we are all connected, we cannot hurt others without hurting ourselves!
Watch what happens when you go silent. Often their irritating speech stops. Or better yet, think about how you feel when out of control emotionally and focus on your breath. Cultivate compassion for them.
Always remember, it is about training our mind, not changing the world. It does not need to change.
Here are nuggets of wisdom from his book. They are from his training in Buddhism and you do not have to be Buddhist to appreciate the wisdom:
· To whatever degree we desire, we suffer.
· Dwell on compassion and letting go.
· We need alone time and solitude to stop clinging.
· Impure thoughts lead to impure actions. Make every effort to cut off unwholesome thoughts.
· A life lived without a sense of self is most pleasant and meaningful.
· Fear has so substance and cannot hurt you.
· let go of need for things to turn out as I want.
· Your intention is really what matters.
· If you are resentful it is your short-coming, no matter what.
· Live in harmony with what is
· Do not be troubled by life’s ups and downs