Dialogue Night

Agenda

January 31, 2017

“As a community, it’s time to break the silence and miscommunication between adolescents and adults. We must stop fearing our teenagers. There is so much we need to learn from each other.” anonymous parent in Houston, TX

7:00-7:20pm Lecture Hall - Opening remarks from Principals Dr. Michael Thumm and Mr. John Pascale

General directions for the evening:

PURPOSE

We are here to:

  1. Increase understanding of teen issues such as alcohol and drug use, teen parties, bullying
  2. Get things off our chest
  3. Ask questions without fear of self-recrimination or awkwardness
  4. Become…
  5. Better parents
  6. Happier and safer teens
  7. Improve relationships between both parents and teens

GROUND RULES

  1. You do not need to disclose personal information. You are here as a representative of teens/parents today.
  2. Don’t be afraid to ask anything you want but don’t feel obligated to answer anything you either don’t know or feel too uncomfortable about answering.

7:30 Go to your assigned rooms

Room 119 – Ramsey students with Mahwah parents

Room 118– Mahwah students with Ramsey parents

7:30-8 Parents Ask Teens – see “Sample questions – Parents”

8-8:30 Teens Ask Parents – see “Sample questions – Students”

8:30 All Parents move to room 119

All Students move to room 118

8:30-9 Parent Wrap-up – All parents discuss “What did you learn about teens tonight?”

Teen Wrap-up – All students discuss “What did you learn about parents tonight”?

Parents

Ground Rules for this evening:

  • Everything that is said here is CONFIDENTIAL. Use first names only. Ask any question you want. Do not answer that any question you are uncomfortable with.

Sample Questions/Topics

  1. What are the main pressures/challenges facing teens today (drugs, alcohol, peers,bullying, school, sex and dating)?
  2. Parent often say “I know how you feel/what you experience…I’ve been there.” Do you think this is true? Do parents really know what kids are going through?
  3. Do kids really think they are immune to dangers such as drugs, alcohol, drunk driving, sex, etc.?
  4. What makes kids do things that they know are wrong or dangerous?
  5. How far would the average kid go in order to be seen as “cool” by their friends?
  6. What really goes on during the average teen party?
  7. What kinds of drugs are you hearing about/seeing out there?
  8. What to teens do (and whom would they go to) if they’re really in trouble (break-up with a significant other, pregnant, cutting, eating disorder, drug or alcohol addiction, depression or suicidal) and what traits would that adult have to exhibit?
  9. Why don’t kids ever want to talk to parents about what’s going on in their lives?
  10. Why do kids listen to their friends more than their parents?
  11. What can we do to be better parents?

Students

Ground Rules for this evening:

  • Everything that is said here is CONFIDENTIAL. Use first names only. Ask any question you want. Do not answerany question that you are uncomfortable with.

Sample Questions/Topics

  1. What are the main things you, as parents need to know about teenage issues such as drugs, alcohol, dating and bullying?
  1. If teens could change one thing about how parents “parent”, what would you suggest to parents?
  1. When things are forbidden, it sometimes makes it more appealing. Do you think it is better to allow more things?
  1. When parents try to prevent teens from doing certain things (drugs, sex, etc.) are they?
  2. Trying to be mean
  3. Are paranoid
  4. Truly looking out for us and trying to protect us
  5. Here’s what parents need to know about our use of technology
  6. Why social networking is so important and the role of being “connected”.
  7. Does cyberbully occur and how?
  8. Why don’t parents trust teens?